20 Children Dead in Connecticut School Shooting

You think you've seen the worst that can happen, and then a day like this comes and breaks your heart all over again. Just last week in our backyard (Portland in neighboring state, Oregon), a gunman killed two people and then himself at a shopping mall. Today, the violence is targeted at children, while they were in school, and all these just a few weeks, days to Christmas. What is really going on?

NEWTOWN, Connecticut (Reuters) - A heavily armed gunman opened fire at a Connecticut elementary school on Friday, killing 26 people including 20 children in the latest in a series of shooting rampages across the United States this year, U.S. media reported.

The gunman was dead inside Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Connecticut, state police Lieutenant Paul Vance told a news conference.

Vance said there were 28 deaths in Connecticut - 20 children and seven adults from the school and another person connected to the suspect at a house in Newtown. The total included the shooter, who media said was a 24-year-old man. The New York Times reported that the gunman killed himself at the scene.

50 Ways to Love and to Romance your Partner

The top "how to" search in the United States is How to Love and, according to the recently released Google Zeitgeist, the top search is the same for Nigeria too, where the #2 is "How to Romance". Below is a list of 50 practical and inexpensive ways to show love to the one you're with, and be romantic.

Romance Meets Life - L is for Love

1. Write "I love you" in the steam on the bathroom mirror after he takes a shower.

2. Offer a back massage with some good smelling lotion.

3. Write a poem. Then use Google Translator to translate a poem into either French or Italian. Then handwrite it out with the translation on the back side. Or better yet, greet your partner at night and read it to them with passion and then hand them the translation.

4. While in public, declare "I love you, Matilda!" (not Matilda, but your partner's name.)

5. Make a CD with a few songs that are meaningful to your relationship.

Romance Meets Life - How to Show Nigerian Love

Prank Call Gone Wrong: DJs Respond to Nurse's Death

It was a shock to hear last week that one of the nurses who answered the phone when two Australian DJs made a prank call was dead, and had committed suicide. The DJs, pretending to be the Queen and Prince Charles called the private hospital where Kate Middleton was admitted for morning sickness to get some laughs for their readers. No one could have foreseen it would end this way.

From what I can tell from news reports, the nurse who killed herself, Jacintha Saldanha, was the receptionist who picked the call, and then actually transferred them to someone on the ward. I listened to the call myself and she did not say more than a couple of sentences. I found it difficult to make the stretch from the prank call to the apparent suicide for a wife and mother of two teenagers.

To be honest though, I don't know her, and I don't know what she may have been going through even before the prank call, maybe the prank and the backlash she expected from family, friends, her employers and the general public became too much, the final straw that broke the proverbial camel's back. As might be expected, Mel Greig and Michael Christian, the two Australian DJs behind the hoax, are totally broken up as seen in a recent interview.

Permission from my Mother by Nena Ndioma

Few African mothers (bless their hearts) will ever encourage their daughter’s divorce. Mine is no different.

I’ve never had a particularly easy relationship with my mother. Now that I look back, I can see that this partly stems from the fact that while I’m a ‘born’ communicator, my mother’s communication style is pretty indirect, and therefore difficult to decipher. Understandably, our communication styles clashed too often for us to get along terribly well while I was growing up. With the passage of time, we’ve gotten better at communicating – or, rather, at accepting that we communicate differently, and at (sort of) trying to meet each other half-way.

I broke the news of my divorce plans to my mother gently, but clearly and directly. I broke the news over a period of weeks, repeating the same message several times to give her time to absorb and make peace with it. Each time, in her characteristic communication style, she shrugged it off like an uncomfortable shawl, nervously laughed a little as if to help take away the sting of the unpalatable message, assured me breezily that the marital situation would get better … and then changed the subject.

My Unrelaxed Hair Journey So Far

From the early days of the Big Chop when I wrote this first post about my haircut back in April of last year.

I had a hair accident in March after I removed some weaves, and this led to the worst hair tangling known to man. The only solution? Cut it all off. Well, I'm comforted knowing my hair grows quickly. With time I'll share more with you guys about the hair journey.

Crazy for Cowboy by Roxy Boroughs

Synopsis/Blurb: She’s through with cowboys. But this one’s the ‘reel’ deal.

Equine veterinarian, Emily Grant, has had her share of cowboys, and they always break her heart. After vowing to give them up forever, Brandon Hollister strides into her life.

He’s a different kind of cowboy, one that works on the silver screen. But is he just playing the part when it comes to love? Or can this sexy hunk get past a case of mistaken identity to become the man to win Emily’s heart.

Dear Myne - How can I get my Husband to love Kissing?

Please how can i get my husband to love kissing and engage in it. I love kissing and its one thing that turns me on for love making. I practically compels him to kiss me every time and we only manage to lip-lock for about 30 secs or less. We've talked about it several times through the years( been married for 11+ yrs) and no improvement. No amount of touching lubricates me like kissing.

Once in a while he succumbs, and it brings me on and we have a very good love making. Can i really do anything about it or is it absolutely an african thing of our men not liking kissing? Am talking about kissing in the privacy of our room. Thanks

How I make Egusi Soup with Spinach

Egusi soup is one of my favorite soups and I usually have it in the freezer after making a big pot. Sometimes I have to wait for a trip to the African store in order to make it, or I use what I have at home. Of course the basics have to be there, like the egusi itself, but most of the other ingredients can be improvised. This particular recipe is quite simple and traditional, as you'll see.

I cook two types of Egusi, one with bitterleaf and with the egusi boiled in the meat stock, and the other type with a more bland vegetable - ugu, kale, spinach, waterleaf - and I fry the egusi in the oil I'm using. This difference in preparation makes for a change in taste, flavor and texture and I love the versatility it gives me. Below is my recipe for the Spinach Egusi Soup.

Is Kissing Part of the African Culture of Love?

After watching a Nollywood movie recently, I was wondering about Nigerians and kissing. Is kissing part of Nigerian or African culture? I didn't have to think too far to know the partial answer to that. After writing "you may kiss the bride" into our wedding program - and getting the approval of the officiating priest - the Bishop who handled the vows refused to say it. He was using the booklet o, but when he got to that part, he said "not on his watch" and skipped the lines. I was so mad. Can you feel that I'm still beefing? LOL...

Anyway, no one needs to tell me that some Nigerians, and not just the older ones, are not cool with kissing. I  remember also when I had to meet Atala at the Lagos airport once and jumped into his arms for a kiss when he came out. Most people were like hey, stop, what is that, move on. And no, we were not blocking anyone. But there is the question, is it the kissing that they aren't used to, or the public nature of it?

I decided to make Google search my friend, thinking of a little debate after Kiru Taye's first historical romance was published and a Nigerian reviewer felt the love scenes were probably unrealistic. But the question remains, who really knows? These things were not documented as far as I know.

Hope Springs review and Blu-ray Giveaway

Hope Springs was billed as a comedy that tackles issues of marriage, and seeing that the main actors, Meryl Streep and Tommy Lee Jones are favorites of ours, we decided to go see it. The movie, which is out on DVD and Blu-ray this week, turned out to be more serious, a mixture of comedy and drama and a very touching one at that.

Kay (Meryl Streep) and Arnold (Tommy Lee Jones) are a devoted couple, but decades of marriage have left Kay wanting to spice things up and reconnect with her husband. When she hears of a renowned couple's specialist (Steve Carell) in the small town of Great Hope Springs, ME, she attempts to persuade her skeptical husband, a steadfast man of routine, to get on a plane for a week of marriage therapy.

Just convincing the stubborn Arnold to go on the retreat is hard enough—the real challenge for both of them comes as they shed their bedroom hang-ups and try to rekindle the spark that caused them to fall for each other in the first place.