Happy new month everybody.
To our talk today, this is a very deep question, and one I have to consider for my characters in each romance novel I write. For Nanowrimo, I am starting a new story with two fiery, hard-headed characters and my imagination is already wandering far into their future and I'm thinking, are they really right for each other? How can they convince themselves, me the writer and in time, you the reader? As I thought on this, I realized that I had asked myself the same question several times in the past after meeting one or two people.
There are some people you meet and you just know they're a fantasy or fancy which will fade even the next day. And there are those that tug at your heart and you begin to wonder, could they be THE ONE? The truth is that if we do not answer this question correctly and honestly to ourselves, we could be making the mistake of a lifetime. Whether it is in deciding whether to allow a friendship develop into somethng else or in taking the decision to get married, it is imperative to get the answer right.
These are some of the pointers I came up with - this is just a brain dump mind...I will probably do a full article later. What do you guys think?
- They’re in your future
- They become number one in your priorities
- You welcome compromise
- You want to spent time together
- Others fade into the background
- The pain of the past is healed
- Always in your thoughts
- You worry about their wellbeing, you care
- There is chemistry
- You're not bothered by their minuses
- You’re happy and feel high
- Songs and books begin to make sense, the world is more beautiful
- You want to know all about them
- They can affect you deeply in their actions
- You can be yourself with no pretense
- Other things matter less like physical, material stuff
- You don't mind their worse
- They make you feel good
- Trust trumps jealousy
- You enjoy times quietly together
- You make up easily
- Sex is by mutual agreement
- You don’t change your values
- You change for the better to please them
________
image from collegefashion.net via Google..
Firsttttt.
ReplyDeleteLoved the poem to bits..
I agree for the most part!
ReplyDeleteilike
ReplyDeleteI had to think about my relationship, and check most items on the list.
ReplyDeleteseriously, i have asked myself questions, and i would be a fool not to follow thru on my check list.
thanks love, great read.
How do I know? I say, "I love you" (maybe just to his picture when I'm alone) and if it feels right, I know it's true. If the words taste like moldy bread in my mouth, I know I'm deceiving myself.
ReplyDeleteIt was easy with my husband. We had been friends for years, so I knew I "loved" him as a friend. When you add romantic chemistry to true friendship, there's no doubt about it.
"You are not bothered by their minuses"
ReplyDeleteAnd
"The pain of the past is healed"
Speak volumes to me.
Insightful post, Myne.
How do you know you are in love? You can imagine a future with them. And...your day to day living is not complete without a little bit of the other in it. I can't say it is the heavy kind of love. It can also be a gentle kind that sneaks up on you.
ReplyDeletewhen I get into a relationship,I don't involve any love feeling or sth,coz I'm not ready for hrtbreak,it's a mutual thing for me,if you put in I put in,if you don't I wait,I'm too self confident to get jealous of anythin and even though my male friends expect it,I disappoint them,if they come for sex,I don't say no but any wise person that has heard of me knows that its my way of mocking u coz you can't get it from me,of coz I've got lots of enemies.Nice post MW
ReplyDeleteI am with Lucid here. I love the love that sneaks up on you. One day you wake up and suddenly realise - wow! I really love this guy.
ReplyDeleteThe list..looks like things I will be happy to tick off if we've been together awhile. But at the beginning of a relationship? it screams infatuation.
iLike...got me thinking.
ReplyDeletefor me,its about being comfortable around the person and just being me,no fronting :)
PS:your twitter account looks like its been hacked or something...
I agree with most if not all...
ReplyDeleteI'm waiting on your new book and please when is cupidsrisk coming back?
:)
Definitely on point, Myne. I've felt this way about a couple of guys but nothing solid yet, but I'm looking forward to it :-)
ReplyDeleteYou just feel it when its right.. When you come close to that person you feel an extra edge not experienced with other people. You're always extra careful around the person and definitely can't do a day without him/her. yeah and like lucci said, its always about. Visualising a future with em. For me, that's love. I like, a lot.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the comments.
ReplyDelete@Ginger, this is not really at the start of a relationship but when you want to take things to a deeper level. By then, I guess the couple must have spent some time together, either as friends or in a exclusive relationship.
@H, thanks dear, there will be a book early next year. And Cupid's Risk is starting next month latest.
ReplyDelete@MyWorld, Just checked, I see what you mean. I mixed up some stuff with Naija Stories. I'll work on it.
Your list had me grinning...almost everything, if not all of it rings true with me. I'm comfortable in my own skin with him.
ReplyDelete- You worry about their wellbeing, you care
ReplyDelete- You make up easily
- You want to spend time together
- They can affect you deeply in their actions
I do believe time is of essence... if after the first few months of 'honeymoon kinda feelings' you still can still around with em and stomach their crap them there's something serious goin on. You'r willin to make compromises n overlook things your siblings wont get away with - dat's also a sign.
ReplyDeletebut not unreasonable ones like sticking around to battery, thats just stupidity if u ask me.
Thanks Nutty J,
ReplyDelete@PET, so true. I almost forgot time, very important. And no abuse too..
I haven't been in love yet, only very deep likeness. But loving someone will involve all what you listed and more.
ReplyDeleteI really do agree with this: "The truth is that if we do not answer this question correctly and honestly to ourselves, we could be making the mistake of a lifetime."
I totally agree with on this post, 18 of the point apllies to me and i definately feel that way... Been in love now over 2years..Guch feels like yesterday....
ReplyDeleteFollow me on
http://sesheajames.blogspot.com/ for latest gossips.... xxx
i agree, totally
ReplyDeletewhen you are not with them they are still all u can talk abt.
ReplyDeleteto use Lady X's statement: When they fart and it smells like perfume lol
ReplyDeleteI cannot believe your comment about Toni Payne on Linda's blog. Would never have expected such from you.
ReplyDeleteThanks all..
ReplyDelete@Joanna, I agree.
@Cerebrallybusy, where have you been all this while girl? Welcome back! That is so funny BTW...
@Ola, I think you misread me. But yeah, I guess I have my opinions too, which sometimes may differ from some others'.
You pray for them as much you pray for yourself....
ReplyDeleteYou selflessly give them the last slice of pizza when you want it real bad yourself....:-)
:) So true @Gospel Girl.
ReplyDeleteHow do i know am in love?...ALWAYS READY TO FORGIVE & OVERLOOK ANY OF HIS FLAWS & MISTAKES!..if not...
ReplyDelete@NG, not any and all o before one becomes a casualty. But I agree, forgiveness is very important.
ReplyDeleteYou had a full life before you met them, but then you realized that life with them would be more interesting that if you spent it alone - changed for the better, as it were.
ReplyDeletei feel to be in love is when u feel like wakeing up to feel the sound of their breath on ur neck, the warmeth of their lips on urs, the touch of their fingers on ur skin and also the feel of that heart beating with urs knowing u could never find that feelin with any other than that special 1. Lovely post myne
ReplyDelete