When a man proposes with a ring to the woman he's dating or in love with, the intention is not in doubt, he wants to marry the women in the nearest possible time. This will usually be within a few months to a couple of years or as long as it takes to plan and execute a wedding of their choice. When the lady accepts the ring and wears it, she is saying yes to this request of a future marriage and will probably start asking to set a wedding date soon after.
But what of a promise ring or getnamenecklace rings? Does it signify the same thing? Not necessarily. I've heard of promise rings in several instances and some are not even romantic. Girlfriends can decide to buy each other or themselves promise rings to be friends forever, abstain together till marriage, etc. Some also use promise rings to pledge fidelity before marriage or after an extra-marital affair, etc. On a few occasions, promise rings are used to signify that an engagement is in the future, maybe in five years or more. In those scenarios, they are used as a placeholder, as they're mostly cheaper than engagement rings.
The question is, would you accept a promise ring when you're able, willing and ready to hear the real "Will You Marry Me?"
Watch the funny clip above, and let's discuss :)
No promise ring abeg..When you are sure and ready to marry me then get on your knees with an engagement ring and propose knowing that we go marry soon not in 5years..
ReplyDeletePromise ring to me is like a cage #justsaying
no promise ring for me at all, engagement ring and a proposal, thats it.
ReplyDeletewww.secretlilies.blogspot.com
I got a promise ring once...but it was soon followed by an engagement ring...but then again i was only 17/18 years old and judging by my bare ring finger we can all see how that worked out lol.
ReplyDeleteBut at this point in life, i would say i don't want/need any promise ring. If we're at the stage where marriage is the next step, then he needs to either $#!+ or get off the pot. Promise rings were cute at 16 (when you obviously weren't getting married), not so much at 26.
I still remember when ladies didn't get their engagement ring until the trad marriage so they wore a promise prior to that date. I guess the norm now is to wear the engagement ring from the proposal day.
ReplyDeletethis one na one chance o! na pancake matter be this?
ReplyDeleteSure I’ll take a promise ring…as long as we are both 3 years old and in Kindergarten! If a man is a day older than 3 you betta put an ENGAGEMENT ring on it!
ReplyDeleteLOL at "as long as we are both 3 and in Kindergarten".. Hitting the nail on the head mehn! Like!
DeleteLmao. Even if he's 3 years old and a day?
Delete1+… abi ooh!
DeleteAnony: Na so! Even 3 and a sec jare!
Let him put a real ring on it biko. Like the pastor in the video said, "that is not what we prayed for o, back to sender o"
ReplyDeleteHilarious video. She is more committed in the relationship than the guy. It depends on the stage of life that the couple is at. If they are young, high school, a promise ring is cute but at late twenties and thirties, a promise ring? Heck No!
ReplyDeleteI beg to differ. I have been best friends with my man for a little over 4 years and we've officially been a couple for a little over a year. We are both currently back in school to work on our Master's degree and have had the marriage talk several times.
ReplyDeleteWe spoke about it and agreed that he was going to give me a promise ring after our first year and then replace it with an engagement ring before the end of our third year together. This is because we both want to finish our respective Master's degrees before heading on into marriage.
I know he is the one, I have prayed about it and also looked at it from a logical perspective too:-) (for all those realists out there).
I picked out the promise ring and it is a diamond ring that came with a reasonable but not too pricey price tag as I didn't want him to break the bank twice :-) Both our families know about us and already refer to me as his wife, with his mum going as far as having clothes sewn for me whenever a family member goes home.
I believe nowadays people are in a rush to become married without taking the time to really know each other and enjoy the dating process. I believe in Marriage for the long run and thus why I decided to take the promise ring route.
Promise rings are not for everyone. You need to trust that he will come through on his promise to you. Mine is so happy to let the world know that he has given me a promise ring and I'm officially off the market as I'm his fiancee to be. Those are his words :-)
And that is my two cents Myne! On a side note thanks for all the food posts you've been putting me up, gives me ideas for dinner :-)
Tess.
Fiancee-to-be? I've never heard that before o. I guess whatever works for you.....If he's so certain and you are too why give a promise ring when you can can make a promise with the engagement ring. But then again, what do I know?
Deleteseconded. and whyn spend money twice...a promise ring with diamond??? might as well make that promise to each other with an engagement ring..
Delete@ Myne, an engagement ring is a promise ring, a promise of future marriage. so why give me a promise of a future promise of marriage. just flipping ask when you are ready to make a real promise
Wow anon 5:09, you seem so different from the pack. Almost giving up concluding there arent girls with thinking-through abilities like yours uno. Will be glad to settle down with a girl that has your kind of perception towards dating and relationship. All young girls do today is: rush into marriage and give in to pressure- from friends,families and colleagues. Even the supposedly intelligent and confident babes. Am like, cant u guys f**king look at the bigger picture? Damn! One wonders if marriage is really for the long run (like you rightly said) or just for the sake of ringing it and screaming like babies before (un)loved ones when he pops the question. Girls pls give we guys some little time and stop putting pressure on us because titi, maria, aisha or vicky just got a ring on it. Pls dont give up on TRUE LOVE just because he hasnt put a ring on it. If hes staying with you GENUINELY, trust me, he loves you and wants to spend the rest of his life with you. We want to enjoy the courtship/dating to the fullest with you (discovering our compatibilities and as well identifying and addressing our differences), first as best of friends before evolving into an inseperable couple. This seemingly rush isnt the best oo.
DeleteThis clip had me in stitches, especially the pastor's remark at the end. In this case, that promise ring is just bull biko. Like Tess said, when there's an understanding, it just might be ok, but in the instance of the above clip, the dude obviously doesn't have the "future" in mind, if he did, then he would honestly and openly speak about it.
ReplyDeleteGod forbid promise ring for me! As if getting a man to make a formal commitment is not enough, you now want to add extra *get-out* clause.. No way mehn!
ReplyDeletePre-engagement? Oh no! very soon, there will be Intention ring (I 'intend' to be in a relationship with you in the near future {ie after I am almost ready to become a man})
When you are ready to marry, let me know...
A promise ring does not in any shape or form, mean that a guy is not ready to become a man. Also, since when does getting married become a criteria for a guy to reach manhood. Such narrow minded thinking is not the way to go.
DeleteI am curious… What exactly does the promise ring mean then? To me it’s a “ One day I promise to consider if I want to marry you” ring
Deletelol I kinda got a promise ring before the main ring BUT there was a reason.
ReplyDeleteI flew down to see him, the main ring was still being made cos he decided to have it customized. I was to head back to Nigeria for a few days before returning to the UK. He didn't want me to leave without a ring so he popped into the mall to buy a ring. He gave me the main ring when it was ready 6 weeks later.
Myne, thanks for the laugh.
ReplyDeleteLOOOOOOOOOOL!!! I laugh so tey tears came out of my eyes. I wish you understood Yoruba....The pastor at the end is hilarious. Thumbs up to the actors.
"Promise ring ke? Awon ota mi lagbara lori omo kurin yi. Return to sender. Ogun idile, ogun ode, ogun igboro...LOL."
Translation of Pastor's Yoruba prayer bits: 'My enemies have power over this young man. Battles within the home/family, battles outside of the home, battles down town.'
This marriage do or die business na war o! See as the girl desperate sha. Promise ring my a**!
I thought engagement rings were promise rings...pardon my ignorance oh...I never heard of promise ring till the Chris Brown/Karucche story. It is engagement ring followed by wedding ring biko.
ReplyDeleteThis guy mad o. promise ring ni. promise ring ko. From the comments I can see a different perspective of what a promise ring can mean. But in this particular instance aka the short clip, that guy has 'commitmentphobia' written all over him.
DeleteA promise ring is a nice sincere gift. An engagement ring is a commitment.
DeleteWhich one be promise ring again? Y the waste of money? U date me. We decide to spend the rest of our lives together. U shud engage me and not Lord of the rings parole where I go dey wear ring till God knows when. Me I believe timing is everything. Sometimes engagements ® broken is it now promise engagement. Women instead of making things easier for urself u make simple things complicated. I'm not married to u till I'm married don't give me promise ring. I will not even accept it. People don wise up these days promise ring kor, promise ring ni.
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ReplyDeleteGod! This is funny.
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