Before I accepted to go out with him, he called and texted me all the time, he would wake me with inspirational messages, and wish you goodnight before I slept. We've barely been dating three months and he hardly ever calls me anymore. His excuse is that we see each other more often now and know where we stand with each other but it's not convincing to me. When he was after me, we saw once a week, now maybe we see two or three times, is that not almost the same?
Now, he traveled to Nigeria two weeks ago and it has become worse. He called when he arrived and since then nothing. He doesn't even pick my calls when I do reach out to him. Sometimes it rings with no answer and other times, he sends a text to say he's busy and will call later, but he won't call. This makes me feel like I'm stalking him, and it's turning me off.
I'm not usually impatient like this but his movement is so suspicious. We had been talking about our marriage in a few months since we started dating but the last time I brought it up, he brushed it away. I'm really unhappy about this and thinking of breaking it off.
My first reaction is to say "please break it off"...
ReplyDeleteI have had a similar experience and it didn't end with the guy turning a new leaf (well at least not until long after we broke up).
The truth is that sometimes, men do not like confrontations and having to end a relationship so they misbehave to such an extent that the lady does the deed. He may be sending you this message
or
There's someone else he's interested in and while he's trying to figure out if it will work out with her, he's putting you on hold ie wanting to eat his cake and have it.
Even if the above postulations are wrong, may I just say that in any relationship, platonic or otherwise, you deserve to be fully respected and your feelings taking into consideration. A man who does not care about that does not deserve you nor your time.
You deserve better and I know it may be difficult now but give yourself the opportunity to be with someone who will treat you will love and respect and give you the time that you deserve as his partner.
You can't say it better than this, I agree wth u 100%
DeleteLet me also join and agree with everything you said. Sooo right! Even more than not wanting confrontations, they could be cowards...sometimes.
DeleteYou really dont need to be told what to do.
ReplyDelete...umm..has your relationship involved sex?..If yes....please move on!!the more you chase after him,the more you start acting desperate.Forget it..and if the cookie has been shared... don't bother praying for him to come back...instead face God to heal your broken heart!!
ReplyDeleteGirl, ya fery singu (Girl, you're very single) If a guy is into you 100%, he'll leave no room for doubt.
ReplyDeletehaha! @ fery singu
DeletePlease don't stress yourself. Just walk away.
ReplyDeleteIf you insist on being told, then move on! He is no longer interested in the relationship and the more desperation you show, the more annoying it gets him.
ReplyDeleteExactly. Move on.
ReplyDeleteHe seems to need space, babe give it to him. Let him do the stalking, not you.
ReplyDeleteRead the writing on the wall;He is no longer into you. Please move on. Take care ok?
ReplyDeleteDarling, you need to read this lovely book written by Greg Brehendt called 'He's just not into you'. It will set you free from guys and their mixed signals. ask and I'll email you a pdf.
ReplyDeleteall the best.
very true set yourself free,ginger pls can i get the book you mentioned
DeleteMy dear, the best thing is to move on with your life. It's obvious he needs space, give him space and he'll value you more. It's better to move on than to appear desperate, which is a turn off. If he wants you, he'll make effort to keep you.
Deleteplease and puhlease my fery singu geh, delete that bobo from your life or you'd be on a roller coaster ride this whole year trying to make your ghost chase after you. Have you ever seen a bentley chase after anyone? No way! People strive to have that vehicle in their possession so please my dear, loose the guy. He 's not worth your salt or time. Not that you are a car but you are exquisite and precious. And to tell you the truth, he's in another relationship in Nigeria and was trying his luck with you whether he slept with you or not. If he didn't, he wore out. He couldn't keep up with your sanctity. That is a treasure, you know. I am writing from experience. Loose the guy! Loose him NOW! Meet other people, date other people, have fun! Be sure about what you want in marriage! Do not trust too quickly cuz a fine face is before you. When he's in love with you, you won't report him to anyone.
DeletePlease about the pdf, do mail me one, please?
Chinelonmaonwubuya@yahoo.ca
Will do Renee.
DeleteSussy? buzz me gingersnapsaman(at)(gmail)(com)
Can you please email me the pdf file jakieo92@yahoo.com
DeleteGinger, pls can I get the book. Thanks
DeleteAnd in moving on, discard everything that would make you remember him, doing so would help you resist the urge to call.
ReplyDeletehttp://theglamfile.blogspot.com
It's very easy for people to say "move on" when they are not the one's facing the challenge. The truth of the matter is it is difficult to let go of something or someone you truly love. You must understand that every great and successful relationship requires a great deal of effort, time, persistence and most importantly patience. Even the strongest of relationships experience dark moments.. Now I have a question for you: Would you throw away a car just because the battery is bad? No I guess.. Too often, we focus more on what divides us rather than on what binds us together as partners Now I'm not saying you keep "stalking" him or keep trying to make him understand how much you care about the bond that exists between you two. No... All am saying is.. before you call it quit and "move on" like most people have advised, sit back, think and ask yourself these questions:: what could be running through his mind? Why the sudden change in behavior? How do I go about having a heart to heart conversation with him without being too focused on ME and my emotional needs? Where have I missed it? Are my expectations of him too unrealistic? is he at a turning point in his life?
ReplyDeleteFor you see, Men are wired in such a way that they hardy verbalize their frustrations, pains and inner conflicts. We keep to ourselves and say nothing to anyone while we struggle with the conflict and civil war going on inside of us.. And it takes someone who really understands us to know when the battle inside of us is on..
Now, I may not have offered the best of solution, but one thing is certain... A successful relationship will have to be tried and tested by the heat of life. Like the saying goes.." If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best" Before you quit, think.
http://huntlya.blogspot.com
Thank you for this, though I'm not the one that sent this, but you speak to my situation too.
DeleteWell said but don't compare a man's mind to a battery. People are so much more complicated than that. I agree that she needs to have a talk with him to know what the issues are but if he really loves her, he will not leave her in doubt about it. Communication is key in any relationship and if he's not saying anything to at least help you understand what's happening then you need to dust the sand off your bum and get going. Good thing it's been only about 3months. Please don't wait, if you don't need to......for all you know, he might have a wife or fiancee somewhere.
DeleteI really truely hope there was no sex involved, it makes it a lot easier. May God give you wisdom to make the right decision and the courage to do what's best for yourself.
This is nice, am facing the same problem presently. Thanks
DeleteThis makes sense. Am facing the same problem presently. Thanks
DeleteI am thiniking he got bored after the chase... on to the next?
ReplyDeletethinking**
DeleteHe's definitely bored after the chase...especially if you've already slept with him. You deserve someone who treats you with respect. Move on, after all there are plenty more fish in the sea.
ReplyDeleteHold up but you said you guys have been dating for barely 3 months so which "few" months did you use to discuss marriage. Like Toin said you are very single sister!
ReplyDeleteThe relationship is still in its early stage, so you guys should still be high on the love hormone. Communicate then make your decision. I bet you know what that is, that is why you are sad.
ReplyDeleteThe signs are already on the wall my dear. You already know what you should do but my fear is that you are too much in love with him to make that decision.
ReplyDeleteI needed to hear this too. Though this isnot my story, it sounded identical to my own situation. All the advice on this page is helpful and makes me to understand that its ok to walk away from a boyfriend who instead of embracing me and showering me love sends signals which indicate an absence of love.The reality of it all is that he either has someone else or does not love me so why waste more time in a relationship thats going downhill?
ReplyDeleteThere's no doubt about it, the guy have tasted the buzuzu...probably that was his motivation! Mhen and urges...khai, Sister u need God badly, only He truly loves
ReplyDelete