I just read a post that reminded me of a similar post here when Dear Myne just started, of a newly wedded wife who had pains each time she tried to have sex with the husband. Check it out, [Dear Myne - It is Difficult to have Sex with my Husband! ] there are loads of very informative comments. This one is about of a young wife who is wondering if she's circumcised and if that's a reason she does not enjoy sex with her husband of 2 years.
On the issue of circumcision and pleasure during sex, I know that even circumcised ladies enjoy sex, so no one need worry about that. For those who really want to know, you can put a mirror between your legs and look at your vagina. If there is a protruding part at the top of the two side lips, you're not circumcised.
For the lady who did not enjoy sex, I had some questions,
1. Have you ever pleasured yourself? That is the first way to know what works for you. Use your fingers and touch yourself, no need to even put it inside you, just play with your outer lips, and imagine you're enjoying sex with your husband.
2. Do you guys have any foreplay before the main sex? Slow your husband from going in immediately. Spend time kissing, on the lips, neck, ears, back, and touching your bodies slowly, direct him to those parts that you know you like and give you pleasure.
3. What do you think about when having sex with your husband? The brain is the most important sex organ. If you're worrying about work, your friends, your baby, the people in the house, how your breast sag to the sides, or your husband's face in sex, you will be distracted. Focus on what you like about the sex and enjoy it.
4. Do you get well lubricated and wet? If not, talk to your husband and buy a lubricant. The simplest is KY Jelly, and choose the water based one. There are some advanced ones that also contain stuff to excite you directly and increase your pleasure.
5. Do you read? What do you think of adult videos, or books with some love and sex scenes. If you hate such stuff, it may be hard for you to enjoy sex in real life. If they excite you, then watch some, or read a book just before you have sex with your husband, it will put you in the mood.
These are the points I could think of, did I miss anything?
I think that foreplay plays an important role in the sexual life of a married couple. Both of them must also continue to be a friend to eachother, because it is needed to open doors to every other thing they want to share and enjoy in marriage.
ReplyDeleteYou are so right on the 'brain'. That's the biggest sex organ. If you are not having visuals, or imagining pleasure how can you get excited about it or look forward to it? Then again, sex and pleasure are multidimensional and unique for each person. You have to find out what rocks and what doesnt.
ReplyDeleteA woman who is too tired caring for the house, working outside the home, taking care of the children and who is just overall burdened down will not enjoy sex. If she is resentful of her husband for any reason, she will not enjoy sex. If her husband has poor hygiene she will not enjoy sex. If she is self-conscious about her body; how it looks or what she smells like, she will not enjoy sex. If the sex is painful, some positions allow more penis to enter the vagina, or her husband may be thrusting too hard can take away from the possibility of any pleasure. There are so many things that can stop a woman from enjoying sex. Apparently a good diet and adequate exercise helps to increase the libido
ReplyDeleteI wil agree wif u dt Foreplay is rili important.some men don't take out tym 2pleasure dere woman b4 penetratin 4getin dat we're diff 4rm dem in several ways(dts we dnt get easily aroused lyk dey men do).if only men wil take dere tym &women wil also make dem aware of parts of dere body dt gvs dem d highest pleasure & as well not wry abt dere saggin breasts....etc,sex wil b rili enjoyed by both parties.Our men don't evn notice dese flaws we re bothered abt wen dey re sexualy aroused.Women, relax & enjoy sex while it lasts
ReplyDeletePleasuring oneself is masturbation right? Isn't that a sin?
ReplyDeleteIt is a sin
ReplyDeleteHaving sex with ur wife or husband. .... how is dat a sin? Hmmmm
DeleteI believe in mind works and a proper romantic atmosphere. I think that works.
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ReplyDeletePls I will like to know d exercise dt increase libido. Tnx
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ReplyDeleteShould masturbation be considered a sin where marriage is concerned? Pls enlighten us.
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#3 is confirm. The only secret to long-term passionate sex life is mental intimacy. You need to know more about your sexualities and help each other to achieve each and every fantasy.
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naturally you must learn to admire each other at all time,it makes the urge come so strong and easy to penetrate enabling good and sweet sex.
ReplyDeleteI think someone should do foreplay first before doing main sex and should compliment each other during sex to enjoy it. Although the 5 ways you share covers everything.
ReplyDeleteI always prefer oral 1st and I lik to satisfy mi partner always cus wen she enjoys it I wil surely enjoy it too.
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Relax dear you need to enjoy your marriage it's all in your brain.foreplays works best
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