Get the Romance Back in your Marriage

By Mimi Adebayo

Okay men, have you ever thought of doing something that’ll make your spouse blush for the next seven days? You know, give her that special feeling and make her remember the days when you first met. I call it the ‘Once in a lifetime’ treatment. Trust me; it’ll improve your love life and definitely the bedroom life too.


Just because you wake up in the same bed every day since you got married doesn’t make her any less beautiful or special. She’s still that special woman you fell in love with and decided to spend the rest of your life with.

So you see her when she’s all messed up at that time of the month, you see her crabby face when it’s without make-up early in the morning, so you know how her fart smells…so what? She had all those things when you were courting her and you were still all over her. You chose to ignore them. Don’t use them as an excuse now.

Men, ask your wife out on a proper date. You know, just ask if she’ll be free on the said date. Who said you can’t go out on planned dates just ‘cos you’re married? It’s not only on Valentines’ day that you do something out of the ordinary for her.

Make it more special by going shopping for the perfect dress you’d like to see her in. Nothing slutty; just sexy and decent. A romantic colour; maybe red, black, silver or even gold (hey, you can’t do this if you don’t know her size and taste). Send it as a package to the house on the day of the date; attach a note saying you’d like to see her in it later that evening. She’s gonna think you’re crazy and wonder what has come over you. But she’ll wear it anyway, and she’d love it (as long as it’s her size.) Guess what? Even if she isn’t really crazy about the dress, she’ll wear it just because you took out time to go shopping for her.

Get home in time for your date and dress like a real gentleman. A suit would do the trick. When she comes out of the bathroom to show herself off to you…compliment her. Not the usual “You look great” or “you look good”. Make it more romantic, something different, out of the ordinary. For example “You look simply amazing. Look at that body. You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever set my eyes on.” She’d blush crazily and probably say something like “Oh stop it” or “Thank you”. Depends on the kind of woman she is.

Then lead her to the car and don’t jump into the drivers’ seat as usual. Open the door for her. I bet you that will wow her. Do the same when you get to the restaurant and don’t forget to also pull out her chair when it’s time to sit down. While you both eat and talk; make it a point of duty to stare at her like a love-struck teenager.

That shouldn’t be too hard because she’s all dressed up in a sexy dinner gown and you’ve not seen her that way in a long while. You’re so used to seeing her in house clothes or work clothes that you forget that there’s a woman beneath- the woman she was when you first married her.

She might have put on a little weight now ‘cos she’s borne your kids, but she’s still that beauty you fell in love with years ago.

When you stare at her, she’d feel shy for the first time in years with you. She’d be that self-conscious woman she was on her first date with you. She’d blush, giggle, smile and adore you all at once. Trust me, the next day she’ll boast to her friends what a romantic gentleman her husband is.

She’d walk on air for the next seven days, maybe. It could be more. Your sex life would definitely improve. You will see her in a different light, and you’d find yourself falling in love with her all over again.

The truth is every lady likes to be treated like one, no matter how old she is. I’m not saying you’ve got to do the whole car door thing all the time, but a little thoughtfulness from you will help a lot. A romantic text message in the middle of the afternoon while you’re in the office, to let her know you’re thinking about her. A romantic note placed somewhere least expected…her dressing table, her purse or even her Bible. Get back home a bit earlier than usual and decide to make dinner. Give her a surprise kiss when she gets back from the day’s work and make her feel appreciated.

Now, I’m not an expert in things like this…I can only tell you what I think I know about women in general. Who knows? It might help a bit.

Make your woman special, give her that once in a lifetime treatment and get the romance back in your marriage!

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First published on Naijastories. Check out Mimi Adebayo's profile here.