Hello Myne, I believe you are super-fine? I have a this little challenge and I'm hoping you'll give an objective advice on. I'm in this thriving relationship with a young man and the connection is ideally healthy. We are dating steadily and marriage discussions are coming up more often. Now the issue is this, one of my top pet peeves is people eating loudly i.e munching loudly, making noises with the jaws, teeth against cutlery and the sorts. (It's so bad I complain when my mum eats like that).
Now, my boo's a pro in this game, he chews too fast, makes noises with his cutlery and clicks his jaws. In short, I get annoyed. I have brought this up (as we do communicate well) several times and the last time he told me I'd better get used to it that more so, he doesn't even eat loudly, that I'm d first person to say such. He didn't forget to add that there are some habits I have too that he has learnt to ignore.
Now, I'm not sure I can cope for a long time with this eating habit and at the same time, how can I say bye to such an amazing guy because of this? It's mundane and huge too. Myne, help me, I'm confused. You can also share this with your readers, their views are welcome.
Lol... I don't even know what to say. I'll sit this one out for now
ReplyDeleteis that it ? wow this is very serious hunny, since you hate the way he chews then I guess you should break up with him and find someone that chews the way you like. C'MON!!! did you move out of the house when your mum chewed loudly ? there are things you will not like about your partner but you have to cohabitate. There are things he definitely will not like about you (I am guessing you nag) but do you hear him talk and he loves you regardless of your flaws. So just tell him gently that you would not want him eating like that in public. If he refuses to listen then do not eat with him or break up just because he eats to loud . Cheers
ReplyDeletepearlzville, i just love your comments. Apt, and precise.
DeleteYou have say it all in your message.How can you lose such a good guy cos of the way he eat.
ReplyDeleteThis is one of my pet peeves too, and I just hope I never fall for someone who is nice but has this habit, it will completely kill my love with time. I won't advise you to leave him or stay because in the end it's your decision.
ReplyDeleteHmm.... I also HATE it wt a bg passion (so also snoring) ,blv u mi I KANT cope wt it. If I found myself in such a situation blv mi I WILL QUIT. Wen u get marrid wunt u b eating 2geda? Wen u go 2 parties is dat how he will eat???? It's rili embarrassing n he's NT evn ready 2 chng! 4get d@ he's a gud guy der r many oda gud guys out dere.
ReplyDelete'wsh u d best in ds.
Ciao!
Tobby.
Dear poster, if you're a regular reader of this blog you will remember the 80/20 rule that was posted recently. Find it and read. No one is perfect, am sure not even you. If your boyfriend is willing to overlook your nasty habits, don't lose him because of his. When he doesn't propose now you'll say your village people forgetting you used your own mouth to scatter the good thing you got going.
ReplyDeleteOk So this is also a big pet peeve for me. And unfortunately for me I married a man who is also a pro at it. I have talked gently, made fun of it and tried all but nothing has changed. Funny enough I have learnt to pay a deaf ear to it as I have bigger fish to fry as marriage teaches you that somethings are no issues. I will just concentrate on teaching the children hopefully that won't be the trait they want to take from daddy :)
ReplyDeleteI must confess though that on the days when I am mad at him, that deaf ear thing does not work :)
It boils down to whether you can live with it or not. Once you marry someone whatever the pet peeve is will magnify because you will have to live with it day in day out. I also hate noisy eating and people chewing with their mouths open. It is also an embarrassment when you have to eat with someone like this in a public place and the entire table can here them.
ReplyDeleteYou can't teach an old dog new tricks and it is highly likely that this is the way he will be for the rest of his life. I cannot tell you to leave or stay because only you know to what degree this bothers you. If you do break up with him please be prepared for the criticism you will face when you tell people why you broke up, many people would look at it as a frivolous reason. As I said, only you know what you can take, so search yourself, weigh the situation, and make your own decision.
I am among those that think this is a frivolous thing. Religion, politics, beliefs and morals should be the major relationship dealbreakers. Physicality and habits are secondary, that is what married people will tell you.
ReplyDeleteHow do you deal with your mother? I don't think it's a deal breaker per se. Just leave the room when he starts to eat and if he suggests eating out, suggest a movie instead. If he asks why, you tell him, I'm embarrassed by your eating habit and since I have told you to change and you said you cannot and since I love you regardless, I have decided to ignore it so that it doesn't drive me crazy.
ReplyDeleteThis girl just started dating. If a thing as little as this will make her contemplate ending the relationship, I will advice the guy to end it quick as she may not be able to withstand the stress that comes with marriage. No human on earth is perfect.
ReplyDeleteEven said the guy is wonderful, yet.
I had a similar problem. I eventually left the relationship because of so many faults mainly violence.
ReplyDeleteMy boyfrend is a clean freak and it drives me crazy. Good thing is he doesnt expect me to do the cleaning, he does the cleaning and is happy to do so but it drives me insane. I have told him to go and open a cleaning business because i am tired o. But i am not leaving him for noone because apart from that he is PERFECT in ever way.
ReplyDeleteThat's how I am, only that I'm a woman. Everyone gets angry with me because of it. They say it's OCD. I call it finicky.
DeleteNoisy eating is the least of reasons to end a relationship because it has several solutions: it is either you eat separately or you plug your ears while eating together! continue to correct him subtly until he changes(hopefully). you didn't disown your mum who has same habit...these kind of small things becomes a big issue when you already have plans of ending a relationship. If he is a great guy like you said, you better not lose him o
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