Nigerian fashion designer, Estella Ogbonna opened up on her experience of domestic violence and abuse in a marriage that lasted only 8 months and how she got the courage to walk away. She shares her story as a way to encourage other women in similar situations to know it is possible to live again after an abusive marriage or relationship. She writes;
17 months ago, I quietly walked away from an abusive marriage after just 8 months that felt like my whole lifetime!
I was ashamed that I ended up making the 'wrong choice' after all the other suitors I thought were wrong and said no to. SO, I hid away to heal in USA....
God healed me to get back on my feet again to face my career! I had to summon up courage to even sketch and sew! I was verbally, emotionally and physically abused till I lost faith in myself and abilities.
I found God in a different way and HE led me back to my former goals, dreams and purposes that the hellish marriage robbed me of.
I have been told my many to tell my story to encourage other women (especially the ones in entertainment and arts industry that its best to leave the violent, insecure man and stay alive)....but that would be laying bare my privacy too.
Maybe, some day I would tell the whole hell I went through! From being slapped in public, to being pursued outside [late at night] in my torn night gown and beaten, kicked and punched on the ground with demonic rage!
Or the verbal abuses??? Called 'useless', 'ugly', 'fat' and so many unprintables!
Why I am daring to even post this now is that I am soooooo pisssed off at seeing another story of a young lady that was killed by her husband. Because her parents and church told her to keep praying that he would 'change'!!! Now they are planning her funeral!!!!
Another Mrs. Somebody DEAD!
IF HE HITS YOU, RUN!!!!!!! Just run!!!! Don't listen to no pastor or family member to 'stay' or that God hates divorce!! God hates SUICIDE too! Staying back with a violent spouse is suicidal!
You will be OK when you walk away! And walk to safety! Cut off all connections! Stay far away! Because when you leave a violent man, he gets even more evil! He gets petty. vindictive, malicious, angrier because you 'dared' to walk away!
Statistics have shown that the number of women that died in violent relationships/marriages are those that went back even after leaving!
IF I went through all that hell so that I can have the experience, survive it and be able to tell YOU [in that abusive marriage or relationship right now] to walk away.... to stay alive.....then ....all my fears, tears, blood, pains, hope lost, hurt etc of the past were NOT in vain for your sake!
On Judgement Day, God ain't judging Mr. and Mrs. It's jut you alone!
Parents, please teach your boys NOT to grow up into abusers, and your girls to know they can run back home on their feet instead of in a coffin!
And yes, love can find you again!! Never give up!
One bad man cannot make you judge all men as evil. there are good men out there! Get over your hurt and be open to love again! I have! So can you!
Shalom.
Wow. This is deep, may God help everyone in an abusive relationship find the strength to take the right decisions.
ReplyDeleteDV everywhere lord hv mercy i wish i could turnback the hand of time.na OLD SCHOOL love win am o.cos this nu era love don turn to HATE.my two cents.
ReplyDeleteLadies-run back home on your feet and not in a coffin. This is really powerful. If I hear one more set of parents say, "Don't bring disgrace to our family...I will throw up". Disgrace is much better than sorrow.
ReplyDeleteBlessings, hope you and your family are all well. I see you've made some changes again to your blog.
ReplyDeleteShe should be applauded for her courage, one to get out! Two: to recognize her worth! Three: to live! Four: to put him on blast, come out from under the secrecy that protects perpetrators.