Sex Therapist, pastor Funmi Akingbade says the average Nigerian man is not the most patient lover. In an interview with City People magazine, pastor Akingbade said Nigerian men see foreplay and other activities before intercourse as a waste of time. She says to have a bliss marital life, great sex must be incorporated and that the woman should not be seen as an object just to 'release' into.
Excerpts from the interview below..
How would you describe the Nigerian man when it comes to sex?
The Nigerian man is always in a rush when it comes to sex. They rush into it and quickly rush out once they "come". Every driver that wants an accident-free trip must drive safely, know his road signs, have good driving skills and be a good observer.
This is also true with sex because marital sex is a journey and not to be done in a rush. Those who want to succeed in marriage give their sex life a lot of attention and sex is what makes it different and wonderful. So, for no reason must a spouse "beg" or "plead" for sex from her partner. Rather, good sex should be given mutually at all times"
Why then do you think that the Nigerian man rush into and out of sex?
Even though a penis is controlled by the nervous system, it still has a mind of its own. Every woman loves foreplay but the African man has not much time for those sweet touching of a woman's body or genital before sex, they see it as a waste of time. If men tend to rush through foreplay, if at all they want to do it, they do it mildly and hurriedly.
This is because they are ever ready the moment they have an erection. Delaying intercourse when they have an erection and a willing woman nearby? That sounds idiotic to them because they see it as a waste of their precious time.
A true Nigerian woman is not frigid. It is the way and manner a Nigerian man, lets say a black man, gives sex to her that makes a black woman frigid.
A Nigerian man goes out from his own point of need and not from the woman's point of need. They rush into the woman's private part and rush out. They see the woman as an object to release into.
They don't care whether she has an orgasm. All they are after is about themselves. They fail to realize that she has her sexual Libido which should be touched or aroused before dipping their manhood into her. But we let them know that they should never rush the woman.
A man should ask a woman to give him different styles and positions during sex. She should be free to ask for sex whenever she feels the urge. Our men should allow the women to have sex the way they enjoy doing it too.
It shouldn't be just the Adam and Eve style where the man commands her to open and raise her legs and all of a sudden he rushes inside immediately. This means she has just been legally raped.
Ask a woman what she wants in bed or during sex, she will tell you she wants to be romanced, touched, kissed, she wants to be friendly. She wants to be bounced with her partner first and this will really make her come easily and sweetly.
She will never be frigid if the man presses the right buttons in her because sex to a woman is emotion and she can trade sex for affections because he wants sex. The moment she gets affection from her man, she will be able to open up well for her man to come inside her.
So a woman you can easily go into her heart is a woman you can easily get into her legs. Before sex, a woman will want the man to start with talk even if the talk is not relevant but she just needs your attention. She will want to be touched all over but not immediately at the main point of her body so that so it does not appear like you are only interested in getting in-between her legs.
Give her the attention, get bonded, get connected first because she wants to feel you. So sex to a man is a show of love he derives during sex or after the sex while that of a woman is a show of emotion she gets before sex.
So if you don't understand what a woman really needs in sex, she will tighten her legs and lie down like a log or dead body lying in state because she is not feeling the man emotionally."
Via LIB
Fantastic ma.
ReplyDeleteIt took me 7yrs of marriage to realise and understand that that was what i wanted from my husband. I married a virgin and i was sexually and emotionally naive.