Men Are The Biggest Gossips + Gossiping Is Good For You

Men cannot keep a secret - and are now worse gossips than women, according to a study last year. Researchers have found that, contrary to the assumption that women can't wait to spill the beans, it is men who are first to pass on confidential information.

Thanks to social media, men no longer wait to see their mates in the pub and typically share a secret within three hours, the study found. And almost half of men admit to blabbing about a secret within minutes of first being told about it. In comparison, women will keep it to themselves for at least three and a half hours before passing it on.

Eldee Receives Backlash After Calling Out Runs Girls As Prostitutes

Eldee is a semi-retired Nigerian rapper, and record producer, married with children, and currently living in the United States with his family. He shared the above message on Instagram and Twitter as his own views on the current trend of transactional sex in Nigeria, or the Aristo mentality. He wrote on Twitter;

‘A “Runs Girl” Aint Nothing but a High Priced Prostitute, Stop Celebrating These Hoes & Making Them Role Models for Young Girls’

Virginity Tests Mandatory For Female Police Recruits In Indonesia

Women who want to be police officers in Indonesia, reportedly have to prove they're virgins by undergoing mandatory physical exam to verify the hymen is still intact. This is directly from the Indonesia police recruitment website which says, ‘All women who want to become policewomen should keep their virginity."

Human Rights Watch says they are working with the government to get rid of the practice as its ‘discriminatory and a form of gender-based violence’.

Newly Married Jnr Pope Pounding Yam For His Pregnant Wife

Nollywood actor Jnr Pope Odowodo got married to his wife Jennifer Awele's in Asaba back in July [see pics]. He shared this cute picture of them in the kitchen, with him pounding yam for their meal today with the caption;

I am an African, assisting my wife in the kitchen.A woman should feel no pain, except the pain of childbirth....@qutejay #swagnation #swagsoldiers.

#iLike. More men should be like him, and Jnr Pope should remember this when he gets those stoopid Nollywood scripts that depict none sense unidentifiable caricatures of Nigerians.

Study Finds More Differences Between Men and Women In The Smells They Like

New research has shown that another difference between men and women is not just in what we see, it's also in our noses. A UK personal care products company Radox conducted a nationwide poll to discover the top mood boosters for men and women.

The results of the survey showed that women find smells associated with the home most pleasing, while men enjoy the smell of food more. What is that they say, the way to a man's heart?

Professor Tim Jacob, an expert in the science of smell at Cardiff University, says that women's preference for scent over the visual stimuli could be explained by their heightened sense of smell.

'Women have a better sense of smell than men, because their brains are wired to process scents more acutely.

Should Jay Z Have Hit Solange? Are Men allowed to Fight Back?

I was watching “The View” yesterday where the ladies discussed the incident where Beyonce's sister Solange attacked Jay Z, throwing punches and kicks. They talked about the mocking #WhatDidJayZSay twitter speculations, and reasons why Beyonce did not intervene to stop her sister's attack.

Naming Nigeria - Flora Shaw and Sexism

Flora Shaw and Lord Lugard

By Robert Ojediran

It is an unfortunate consequence of our innate sexism as a people that when we hear the name Flora Shaw as the lady who named Nigeria, we see not a person - with a life, with achievements and with faults - rather we see the mistress/ wife to be of Lord Frederick Lugard. Ask any Nigerian and this is probably the only fact they know about Miss Shaw.

Our culture is one where a woman’s legacy is not a factor of her character or her achievements but simply by who her husband is. So when we think of the woman who named our country we cannot think beyond an ordinary mistress whispering ideas to her man in bed because that is her domain of control and of course it the man who carries out the act of the naming because only men can do important things. This could not be further from the truth.

Nigeria was named by Flora Shaw but not as a consequence her relationship with Lord Lugard as most people believe. She wrote an article in the London Times of January 8, 1897 suggesting that the territory around the Niger, which was then controlled by the Royal Niger Company, should be called Nigeria.

At the time she was the colonial editor of the London times in the 1890s. She had a column titled the colony, it appeared weekly. She wrote many articles about the acquisition of territories in Africa in the 1900’s and was considered as an expert on the issue. Her achievement in becoming the colonial editor of the London times was quite extraordinary. The paper was the leading voice at the time and widely regarded as one of the best.

Designed to be Under a Man

I am honestly still mulling over the comments by Monalisa Chinda to Sunday Entertainment Express over the weekend. I was discussing it with some friends and a few of them mentioned she was just being honest to herself and her beliefs, and I applaud her for that. When asked if she would like to re-marry one day, the actress replied,

"I would love to. I am designed to be under a man. I am not going to lie that I like the single mother thing going on. I believe in marriage. Whether you like it or not, it is the best option but it's not a do or die thing though. I have been there before and if I'm going to do it again, it has to be right by the Grace of God. I am not ready to make another mistake."

So this is not about Monalisa, I'll just like us to consider the words, "designed to be under a man" and how that relates to relationships. Considering it from three levels,

1. designed to be under a man - men generally
2. designed to be under any man - any man you end up in any kind of relationship with
3. designed to be under a specific man - a man who loves you in a mutually respectful relationship.

My husband doesn’t want me to sleep in his room

I read this post and my mouth dropped open in shock. A lot of the comments were trending towards cultists, rituals, prayers, but my mind said no! This could just be an upbringing and personality thing. Maybe the guy just feels that being too close to his wife may bring disrespect to him from her. I also know that some traditional men who are close to their culture feel this way.

What actually baffled me more was how the lady never saw it while they were dating, is that possible? Does it mean the topic of how men treat their wives never came up? There's probably no easy marriage, but in my opinion, it's easier when the husband and wife can agree with each other's beliefs and personalities, no matter how wacky they may sound to outsiders. When there's a gap or they don't agree, things may quickly become sour like in the story below;

When my husband and I were dating we used to share his room and bed so I assumed after marriage we would share a room. But to my amazement, after a week, he told me to move my things into the next room. Even though the rooms have doors that link them together through the bathroom and toilet, I didn’t like the idea of sleeping on a separate bed from my husband at night.

Stopping Violence and Rape Against Women

In the United States yesterday, President Obama signed a renewal of the Violence Against Women Act which expands the protections extended to victims of domestic abuse and sexual assault. The original bill was written by Vice President Joe Biden, and in his statements reauthorizing a strengthened version,  Obama said,

...we’ve come a long way. Back when Joe wrote this law, domestic abuse was too often seen as a private matter, best hidden behind closed doors. Victims too often stayed silent or felt that they had to live in shame, that somehow they had done something wrong. Even when they went to the hospital or the police station, too often they were sent back home without any real intervention or support. They felt trapped, isolated. And as a result, domestic violence too often ended in greater tragedy.

So one of the great legacies of this law is that it didn’t just change the rules; it changed our culture. It empowered people to start speaking out. It made it okay for us, as a society, to talk about domestic abuse. It made it possible for us, as a country, to address the problem in a real and meaningful way. And it made clear to victims that they were not alone -- that they always had a place to go and they always had people on their side.

The Place of Women in Marriage and Parenting

There's a saying that we're the product of the environment in which we grew up. I want to add that we're also who we are; we are unique and sometimes we are different or weird. I grew up in a sheltered home, a typical Nigerian home you may say. My parents were both working class, and Christian. They knew what they wanted of and from us children and they would do their best to see that we toed the line.

I knew it wasn't easy on them, they both worked very hard and sacrificed some things to make sure we were OK. My parents enrolled us in the best schools and after-school lessons, and they would spend their time to tutor us in our studies, help us with homework, or simply see that we did it. I appreciated this aspect of their parenting and it is what has helped me to be who I am today.

But there was another side of the strict upbringing that chafed on my personality. I felt restricted and forced to do some things I didn't want to. From the earliest I can remember, I hardly made any decisions for myself; everything was controlled by my parents. The clothes I wore, when and how to cut my hair, the friends I was allowed to have, and when I could visit them, if at all, all were decisions made my my parents.