There he was. The man who had refused to call. The man who had made her feel ridiculously foolish and yet made her want to try again. Iphey was shocked to see him after so many weeks! She had to blink to be sure that this was not a trick her eyes were playing.
“Chinedu, what on earth are you doing here?”
As the words left Iphey’s lips, realisation hit her hard. MAMA! She had been right all along. The woman HAD been expecting someone else when Otunba appeared on the scene. She glanced back and the look of ultimate satisfaction on Mama’s face said it all. Right in the middle of this storm in Ngozi’s living room, Mama was grinning from ear to ear. The smile of a woman whose mission had been accomplished. Unbelievable. Iphey tried to caution herself from jumping to conclusions but Mama’s voice sealed her suspicions.
“Oh Chinedu. I have been expecting you! How are...”
“Wait, you were expecting him?” Iphey turned to her mother. She knew Mama was a match-maker but did not believe she would go that far. So all that delay asking for details about James was just to buy her some time so that Chinedu would meet her here? As Iphey extricated herself from the confused web of emotions that her mind had become, she realised Chinedu was explaining.
“Yes your mother called me here... she said she wanted me to come help her with something.”
"So you're not here to see me?"
“Yes...Erm...No... Your mother said...” Chinedu stuttered.
The funny thing about shock or stress is the disconnect between thought and speech. His words were as eloquent as those of a teenager asking for a first date. What Chinedu was thinking was, “How dare you? I am the one who should be demanding explanations here. YOU made up your mind without hearing my side!”
These thought flitted through his mind, yet, the exasperation he felt was far outweighed by something else he couldn’t explain. Like why he could not erase her from his thoughts like he did with his phone. She had a hold on him and he didn’t like it. He realized that she had also gripped his arm literally.
“If you would excuse us,” Iphey said to everyone. All eyes were fixed on them by now. “We need to talk,” she whispered to him.
Chinedu was as surprised to see Iphey as she was. He did not know her mother was playing one of her tricks again! The woman had called him earlier to come and help her out with “something”. She said it was an emergency and something she could not talk about on the phone. God he had so NOT planned on seeing Iphey! It was the middle of the afternoon and she was supposed to be at work. Now all the emotions that had seemingly been buried were rising from nowhere. His thoughts were paused by the sound of her voice... he had almost forgotten what listening to her was like.
“I’m talking to you Chinedu! Did you know I'll be here when you agreed to Mama's request to come?”
He pretended nonchalance. “I came to see your mother; I honestly did not plan on seeing you.”
Her next words came out of nowhere. “That’s not even the issue! How dare you ignore me since? After that episode with Bisi, you did not even think of calling me to explain. You completely blanked me and acted like we shared nothing.... like I did not mean anything to you! How could you let me go? Why?”
First, it was his past. Now she wanted an explanation for Bisi. Iphey wasn’t even his woman so why was she angry at all? How could she be so worked up when they were not even together? He wanted to tell her he was sick of her excuses. Instead, Chiendu remained calm...
“They say if you love something you should let it go and if it comes back then its meant for you.”
Iphey hissed, “Oh don’t give me that! You did not even act like you were hoping I’d come back! Aisha said you never brought up the subject after that day.”
“I was giving you space, you needed to sort out your feelings.”
“I don't blame you." Iphey rolled her eyes. "Am I not the one that drove all the way to your house to tell you how I really felt but you happened to be with SOMEONE ELSE?”
At her rankled tone, he began getting worked up too. “Iphey, I’m trying to be as civil as possible but you are not making it easy! For Pete’s sake I’m the one meant to be pissed here. I do not deserve this interrogatory process that’s going on here! In fact, I did not deserve the show you put up that night. YOU came to my house and I had a visitor, SO WHAT? YOU chose to walk out without giving me a chance and YOU chose not to pick the calls I made to you that night!”
Iphey piped down quickly. He was saying the obvious. And after her confrontation with Bisi earlier, she knew what she had to do. “OK OK... I’m sorry,” Iphey said. “I really did not mean to raise my voice.”
“Is that all you're sorry for?" Chinedu snarled. After putting him through all that heartache? Making him wonder if he had done anything wrong? Not trusting him? Ruining his relationship with his workers because he had been terribly grumpy since then? And she was just sorry for raised voices?
“I’m sorry for everything! I should have trusted you! Something else happened that night with my family but still I shouldn't have flown off the handle so easily. I’m truly sorry.”
Chinedu felt peace flood his heart. He wanted to hug her. He smiled and moved closer. Just then her phone beeped.
Iphey quickly read the message from Jane.
“Oh no! I’m so sorry, I have to run to work now. I'm late and my boss will fire me if I’m not there this minute! Can you call me later so we can make plans and sort this thing out?”
Chinedu stepped back. With a heavy sigh he said, “Sure I will. What’s your number again?”
Iphey fumbled in her handbag for her car keys. “What?”
“I don’t have your details any more. I deleted them...”
“YOU DID WHAT?!”
*********************************
LOL...and they're already fighting again. I was like why did he go and tell her!
Well, in the end, I found a way to present it. The story is in two parts so there'll be no vote today. In this first one we start with "The confrontation" between Chinedu and Iphey from La-pimpette. Since F, the other person who submitted also started from where they met at the door, there are some clips of hers here too. But check back on Monday for her main story, "The Reconciliation". You really don't want to miss that.
So who is La-Pimpette? She is the blogger behing STRAIGHT FROM THE HEART. In her latest post she talks about the Nigerian way of raising children: "Some people had it good, while others had it so bad and this got me worried. Before this time, I'd say the reason why most Nigerian kids turn out right was because their parents flogged them into shape, thought them respect, proper home training, and all the 'goods' that come along with being Nigerian. But now I feel like the respect and fear is replacing what is actually more important- a relationship with the children. Some people respect and fear their parents but do not love or even know what it means to love them. Why will I be calling my father sir? I'm not saying there should be no ass whooping but it doesn't have to be everyday! Sometimes we really do deserve it, other times, no!"
Friday, April 9, 2010
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Update: Chinedu is at the door!
Posted in:
So the votes are in and more people by a long shot want it to be Chinedu at the door. Hopefully, we'll find out what's up with the disappearing James in the later Chapters and if Ngozi has to chose between him and Otunba. how come many people do not like Otunba? Let's some love to widowers please. Come Saturday, we'll know what happens between Iphey and Chinedu. Will there be fireworks, will they reconcile, decide it's all over, what? Stay tuned.
By the way, you guys don't want to be in my shoes right now, or maybe you do. Once the votes for Chinedu started pilling ahead, I received two submissions in quick succession that saw Iphey and Chinedu facing each other at the door. They are both fantastic, believe me. What I am thinking now is which one to use, maybe I should show you guys both or even merge it. Oh well, the joys of a producer. I love it! I'm sure I will find a way to bring out the best enjoyment for all of us. Keep the comments coming please, they help me tailor the directions of the story.
Thank you.
PS, Have you heard of Naijastories.com? It's a collection of stories written by Nigerians for Nigerians. If you love naija stories go over and read. If you think you can write, send and email to info@ naijastories.com to become a contributor.
PPS, Have a great weekend all...
By the way, you guys don't want to be in my shoes right now, or maybe you do. Once the votes for Chinedu started pilling ahead, I received two submissions in quick succession that saw Iphey and Chinedu facing each other at the door. They are both fantastic, believe me. What I am thinking now is which one to use, maybe I should show you guys both or even merge it. Oh well, the joys of a producer. I love it! I'm sure I will find a way to bring out the best enjoyment for all of us. Keep the comments coming please, they help me tailor the directions of the story.
Thank you.
PS, Have you heard of Naijastories.com? It's a collection of stories written by Nigerians for Nigerians. If you love naija stories go over and read. If you think you can write, send and email to info@ naijastories.com to become a contributor.
PPS, Have a great weekend all...
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Family Face-off + Blog Rolling
Posted in:
Memes
If you want to continue reading about this fiery scene between Iphey and her mother, go over to Cupid's Risk Series to find out what happens. Don't forget to vote on what you want for your next chapter.
********************
About thirty minutes afterwards, Iphey was at Ngozi's place. As she rolled down the driveway and parked, she saw her mother outside, pacing the length of the small compound. She had to pause for a minute when she noticed Mama’s eyes boring into hers with hurt and disappointment. Immediately Iphey knew this was one of those days one wished to go back to bed and wake up with all the past events being a bad dream. Not that her dreams had been very peaceful at the moment. Iphey sighed and got out of the car.
As she walked towards her mother, it was obvious Mama was angry. She was as tense as a cat on a spring and ready to pounce. Instantly, Iphey began to dread the days ahead. She didn’t totally welcome her mother's temporary visit under any guise because she knew how much Mama loved planning other people’s lives. As she guessed, Mama was too angry to notice Iphey’s discomfort and began to barrage her with questions even before they were inside.
“So that was why you ignored all my calls to your mobile phone these past few weeks and just sent me text messages? If the information had not now slipped out of Ngozi, you had no intention of telling me that you found my missing son-in-law?"
Iphey continued on her way into the house. "Mama, I'm sorry but..."
"How long did you think you could keep such vital information from me, Iphey? Or do you think I have no right to ask?"
"I didn't want to be the one to tell you. I hoped Ngozi would do that. James is her husband..."
Her mother cut her off again. "Or as you believe and have never minced words to let me know, it is not my business? You don't want to get married and now you want to put your sister's marriage in jeopardy?" Mama poured out more questions.
They were now inside and Iphey spied Ngozi on the sofa. She sat with legs crossed and her jaw resting on her flexed fist.
"Ngozi, you better tell your sister that life is not all about work, work work!"
At that point, all Iphey could see was Funmi’s smiling face as she handed over a query or termination letter if she returned a minute late to the office. She turned to Ngozi for help, finding none there, she turned back to her mother....CONTINUE
****************
In other news: Let the blogs keep rolling! Thank you all so much to those who have linked up their blogs in the April blog buddies list. You guys know I always want to show my appreciation one way or another. This one is a quick and easy widget on my right sidebar titled April Blog Roll. Simply fill in your names and link your blog. I promise to visit, comment and if possible follow any blog listed there, that is if I'm not doing that already. I promised to also remind other blog visitors to check the blogs out in all the posts I make through out this month of April. So these are reasons you should click on those links and visit the first 5:
Anjuelle Floyd is a wife of twenty-seven years, mother of three, licensed Marriage and Family Therapist specializing in mother-daughter relations and dream work. Anjuelle facilitates writing groups and provides individual consultation of fiction projects. She also gives talks on The Need for Family, the Writing Process as a Path Toward Self-discovery and Healing. Anjuelle came across this blog from Freado where my book A Heart to Mend is on the top ten and has invited me to appear on her Radio Show. You can also add her on twitter @Anjuellefloyd
YankeeNaijababe (YNC) says this on her profile. "I consider myself very articulate and driven to succeed in everything. I love people,business, fashion and beauty and living life for today. I also have a special place in my heart for "Women of Tomorrow." I believe that anything is possible if you set your heart to achieve it, you just have to believe in yourself and keep aiming for higher heights. This one life of ours is too short to be stressed over ignorant people. Enjoy every moment of your life, live for you and be caring towards others." I love visiting YNC's blog, it's so simple, friendly and relaxing. Not to mention motivational too.
Light-Her-Lamp is the lady behind the "blog chronicles the metamorphosis of a young writer whose sole purpose is to radiate light through her writing style." She agrees that "Light gives of itself freely, filling all available space. It does not seek anything in return; it asks not whether you are friend or foe."-Michael Strassfield. Her blog satisfies me on two levels, I read a story and I also get an inspirational message. I was reading her blogs even before I became a blogger, she has remained very consistent and I love her for that.
Tatababe is a busy law student and has not had time recently to update regularly. So I am very pleased to have her link on that roll and know that she's visiting. She is a bubbly and cheerful personality and that is what I take away from her blog. She celebrated her birthday about a week ago and I love how she capped the post. I speak that in this next year of my life: -Something(s) good is/are happening -Something(s) magnificent is/are happening -The realm of ever-expanding good is actively present in my life. Let's join her in saying Amen!
Purple-is-my-color- is a new blogger and says this on her profile, "I was HIT by GOD with his UNCONDITIONAL LOVE, ever since it been a fantastic LOVE story.. there is no going back.. You can say I am obsessed with Christ, I stalk him and I do everything:) Na love..lol..Motivational/Inspiration. I love people and people love me..do you? well with time. I gather wisdom from What God has given me and read books, listen to preaching, Talk ALOT:) with people to learn from them." I am definitely learning with the royal Diamond.
That's it for today, I'll be coming over to yours soon. Meanwhile, I hope your weeks are going well so far? Take care now you all...
********************
About thirty minutes afterwards, Iphey was at Ngozi's place. As she rolled down the driveway and parked, she saw her mother outside, pacing the length of the small compound. She had to pause for a minute when she noticed Mama’s eyes boring into hers with hurt and disappointment. Immediately Iphey knew this was one of those days one wished to go back to bed and wake up with all the past events being a bad dream. Not that her dreams had been very peaceful at the moment. Iphey sighed and got out of the car.
As she walked towards her mother, it was obvious Mama was angry. She was as tense as a cat on a spring and ready to pounce. Instantly, Iphey began to dread the days ahead. She didn’t totally welcome her mother's temporary visit under any guise because she knew how much Mama loved planning other people’s lives. As she guessed, Mama was too angry to notice Iphey’s discomfort and began to barrage her with questions even before they were inside.
“So that was why you ignored all my calls to your mobile phone these past few weeks and just sent me text messages? If the information had not now slipped out of Ngozi, you had no intention of telling me that you found my missing son-in-law?"
Iphey continued on her way into the house. "Mama, I'm sorry but..."
"How long did you think you could keep such vital information from me, Iphey? Or do you think I have no right to ask?"
"I didn't want to be the one to tell you. I hoped Ngozi would do that. James is her husband..."
Her mother cut her off again. "Or as you believe and have never minced words to let me know, it is not my business? You don't want to get married and now you want to put your sister's marriage in jeopardy?" Mama poured out more questions.
They were now inside and Iphey spied Ngozi on the sofa. She sat with legs crossed and her jaw resting on her flexed fist.
"Ngozi, you better tell your sister that life is not all about work, work work!"
At that point, all Iphey could see was Funmi’s smiling face as she handed over a query or termination letter if she returned a minute late to the office. She turned to Ngozi for help, finding none there, she turned back to her mother....CONTINUE
****************
In other news: Let the blogs keep rolling! Thank you all so much to those who have linked up their blogs in the April blog buddies list. You guys know I always want to show my appreciation one way or another. This one is a quick and easy widget on my right sidebar titled April Blog Roll. Simply fill in your names and link your blog. I promise to visit, comment and if possible follow any blog listed there, that is if I'm not doing that already. I promised to also remind other blog visitors to check the blogs out in all the posts I make through out this month of April. So these are reasons you should click on those links and visit the first 5:
Anjuelle Floyd is a wife of twenty-seven years, mother of three, licensed Marriage and Family Therapist specializing in mother-daughter relations and dream work. Anjuelle facilitates writing groups and provides individual consultation of fiction projects. She also gives talks on The Need for Family, the Writing Process as a Path Toward Self-discovery and Healing. Anjuelle came across this blog from Freado where my book A Heart to Mend is on the top ten and has invited me to appear on her Radio Show. You can also add her on twitter @Anjuellefloyd
YankeeNaijababe (YNC) says this on her profile. "I consider myself very articulate and driven to succeed in everything. I love people,business, fashion and beauty and living life for today. I also have a special place in my heart for "Women of Tomorrow." I believe that anything is possible if you set your heart to achieve it, you just have to believe in yourself and keep aiming for higher heights. This one life of ours is too short to be stressed over ignorant people. Enjoy every moment of your life, live for you and be caring towards others." I love visiting YNC's blog, it's so simple, friendly and relaxing. Not to mention motivational too.
Light-Her-Lamp is the lady behind the "blog chronicles the metamorphosis of a young writer whose sole purpose is to radiate light through her writing style." She agrees that "Light gives of itself freely, filling all available space. It does not seek anything in return; it asks not whether you are friend or foe."-Michael Strassfield. Her blog satisfies me on two levels, I read a story and I also get an inspirational message. I was reading her blogs even before I became a blogger, she has remained very consistent and I love her for that.
Tatababe is a busy law student and has not had time recently to update regularly. So I am very pleased to have her link on that roll and know that she's visiting. She is a bubbly and cheerful personality and that is what I take away from her blog. She celebrated her birthday about a week ago and I love how she capped the post. I speak that in this next year of my life: -Something(s) good is/are happening -Something(s) magnificent is/are happening -The realm of ever-expanding good is actively present in my life. Let's join her in saying Amen!
Purple-is-my-color- is a new blogger and says this on her profile, "I was HIT by GOD with his UNCONDITIONAL LOVE, ever since it been a fantastic LOVE story.. there is no going back.. You can say I am obsessed with Christ, I stalk him and I do everything:) Na love..lol..Motivational/Inspiration. I love people and people love me..do you? well with time. I gather wisdom from What God has given me and read books, listen to preaching, Talk ALOT:) with people to learn from them." I am definitely learning with the royal Diamond.
That's it for today, I'll be coming over to yours soon. Meanwhile, I hope your weeks are going well so far? Take care now you all...
Monday, April 5, 2010
Mama says, "He made the right choice." ... by Myne + Folake Basola
Posted in:
Cupid's Risk Series
About thirty minutes afterwards, she was at Ngozi's place. As Iphey rolled down the driveway and parked, she saw her mother outside, pacing the length of the small compound. She had to pause for a minute when she noticed Mama’s eyes boring into hers with hurt and disappointment. Immediately Iphey knew this was one of those days one wished to go back to bed and wake up with all the past events being a bad dream. Not that her dreams had been very peaceful at the moment. Iphey sighed and got out of the car.
As she walked towards her mother, it was obvious Mama was angry. She was as tense as a cat on a spring and ready to pounce. Instantly, Iphey began to dread the days ahead. She didn’t totally welcome her mother's temporary visit under any guise because she knew how much Mama loved planning other people’s lives. As she guessed, Mama was too angry to notice Iphey’s discomfort and began to barrage her with questions even before they were inside.
“So that was why you ignored all my calls to your mobile phone these past few weeks and just sent me text messages? If the information had not now slipped out of Ngozi, you had no intention of telling me that you found my missing son-in-law?"
Iphey continued on her way into the house. "Mama, I'm sorry but..."
"How long did you think you could keep such vital information from me, Iphey? Or do you think I have no right to ask?"
"I didn't want to be the one to tell you. I hoped Ngozi would do that. James is her husband..."
Her mother cut her off again. "Or as you believe and have never minced words to let me know, it is not my business? You don't want to get married and now you want to put your sister's marriage in jeopardy?" Mama poured out more questions.
They were now inside and Iphey spied Ngozi on the sofa. She sat with legs crossed and her jaw resting on her flexed fist.
"Ngozi, you better tell your sister that life is not all about work, work work!"
At that point, all Iphey could see was Funmi’s smiling face as she handed over a query or termination letter if she returned a minute late to the office. She turned to Ngozi for help, finding none there, she turned back to her mother.
“Mama, I’m sorry for everything, but could we do this quickly? I have to get back to work.”
Giving her a smothering look, her mother retorted, “Not this time around, Ifeoma, you will stay here and answer all these questions I’m asking you!”
Being fully acquainted with her moods, Iphey knew her mother could be highly irrational when she got like this. In a reconciliatory voice, she quickly gave a short version of the whole story.
“I bumped into James about two weeks ago in a taxi. That evening he came over to my house to explain why he abandoned his family. He said he lost his job but kept going to work for months, borrowing money from banks to cater for his family and also to take care of Obi’s high medical bills. Soon the bank began to mount pressure on him to pay back or forfeit his house which he had used as collateral. He resorted to gambling and loan sharks whom he now owes millions of naira. He said he had to abscond when he realized the loan sharks were getting ready to draw blood since he was not forthcoming with their money.”
Looking at Mama when she was done, Iphey saw that her mother looked skeptical. Ngozi had the same raw look she wore two weeks ago when Iphey was in her house.
"Is that all? Ngozi said the same and I was hoping you could add something more."
"There's really nothing else."
There was silence in the room. Finally, Mama in a small voice quite unlike hers said, ”I think that was a very brave thing James did.”
Both Iphey and Ngozi looked at their mother in horror. How could Mama approve what James did?
Mama faced Ngozi, arms on her hips, "It is fine for you to feel that what he did was unfair, making you go through so much agony all alone and turning you into a single mother overnight. But believe me, at that point, I think he was left with no choice. I've told you this and I'll say it again, James had to make the painful decision of abandoning you and Obi thereby guaranteeing your safety or staying and bringing about your death. He made the right choice.”
"You say he did right? Abandoning us for three years and refusing to see me even now?" There were tears in Ngozi's voice.
The doorbell rang. When their mother rushed to answer it, Iphey shook her head. One would think Mama owned the house. It was Otunba, Ngozi's benefactor and the quick way their mother returned to her seat left Iphey wondering if she was expecting someone else.
Ngozi got to her feet. "Otunba, are you back already?"
"Yes I did," he replied. "You sounded so worried when you called earlier I had to take the next flight back and come here immediately."
"Thank you so much." Otunba folded Ngozi into the thick folds of his Agbada and stroked her hair.
The long hug was Iphey's first clue that the couple's relationship was more than business as she had thought. Her raised eyebrows to her mother got a nod with pursed lips.
"He called me and asked to marry her." Mama whispered. "No way!" She folded her arms and sat back in her seat.
"Good evening Mama," Otunba greeted. Mama sniffed and Iphey almost choked on the laughter bubbling up her throat. "Iphey, how are you?"
Iphey got to her feet and walked towards him and they shook hands. "I'm fine, thanks Otunba." She turned to the others. "I have to return to the office now." There was obviously a lot of gist but she could wait.
"No, Iphey wait. There's..."
"Mama please, not now. My boss will have my head on a platter..." Iphey opened the door and the words flew out of her head.
Someone stood at the door, hand upraised to knock.
**********************************
And that's it folks. Do you think Mama is right? Are you with their mother on team James or have you moved on to team Otunba? Most importantly, who is at the door? You just know you have to come back for the next chapter, vote on the left as usual.
This was a collabo I did with Basola Afolake. Folake is an aspiring writer who saw the series on Facebook and became hooked. I enjoyed the challenge of working with an upcoming talent and maybe I'll be doing more of that. You can read more of her write-ups HERE.
PS, we are looking for contributors. If you've written before and want to do so again, please shoot me an email.
I will Survive
Posted in:
Relationship Articles
First I was afraid
I was petrified
Kept thinking I could never live
without you by my side
But I spent so many nights
thinking how you did me wrong
I grew strong
I learned how to carry on
…
I was petrified
Kept thinking I could never live
without you by my side
But I spent so many nights
thinking how you did me wrong
I grew strong
I learned how to carry on
…
I will survive
as long as i know how to love
I know I will stay alive
I've got all my life to live
I've got all my love to give
and I'll survive
I will survive
as long as i know how to love
I know I will stay alive
I've got all my life to live
I've got all my love to give
and I'll survive
I will survive
It was Gloria Gaynor who first sang this song about ended relationships, heart break and how the lady got over it and moved on. And moving on to our topic, this is spring, the beginning of the rainy season in many places. The time to plant new seeds and watch them grow and flourish. Leaves come back to denuded trees and the fields turn green again. Easter is just round the corner, associated with the resurrection of Jesus Christ and new beginnings. My article will deal with surviving a negative experience in a relationship and moving on. This is a topic close to my heart because I have witnessed a lot of people who have found it difficult to come into a new life after such an experience. In my book, A Heart to Mend, I wrote about characters who overcame their pasts of adversity to blossom again in love.I am your quintessential romantic but I do know that love and relationships sometimes are not forever. Some of us have suffered heartbreak. It can hurt as hell; we think our hearts are literally broken and seeping blood into our chest. We feel small, wounded, beaten and left to die. But the truth is that we get over it. It may take some time, it may take some strong words, it may take physical or mental breakdown but in the end, we will overcome. The lady in the song, we will look our heartbreakers in the face and tell them to go eat s**t. We will rave, we will cry, we will weep and mourn the dead relationship. But if we tap into the strength inside each of us, we will recognize when it is time to move on.
Elizabeth Kubler-Ross in her book, On death and Dying, listed five stages of grief and loss; denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. Losing a relationship is a bit like losing someone to death. Most people go through similar cycles and stages as they make their way back to a place of balance for them. They deny that the breakup ever happened; they do not let others know. Not their family, not their friends and certainly no other person beyond this group. They boil with anger towards the ex, maintaining that there is no break-up or acting like there wasn’t. They refuse to move out if they were living together; and then begin to give reasons to remain in the relationship. Even when separation is complete, they still find themselves cooking enough for two, speaking to an empty house, just depressed. Painful right? I agree. It is difficult to think of new beginnings at this point but it is possible. This is the story of a friend. If you’ve ever had your heart broken, check if it’s similar to yours.
*******************So it's a new month and a new issue over on Afrikan Goddess. In the spirit of spring and all things new, I wrote an article on overcoming heart break for the online magazine. The excerpt above is just the preamble, you should all go over THERE and read the whole story. Do leave comments on what you think...
Saturday, April 3, 2010
Easter Greetings + Blog Roll
Posted in:
Memes
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I want to wish all of you my wonderful friends and blog readers a Happy Easter! I wish everyone a day filled with enjoyment, friends and family. In the midst of all the celebrations and happiness this Easter Sunday and Monday however, let us not forget the true importance of Easter.
It is not the bunnies, eggs or chocolate, but the resurrection of our Lord Jesus Christ which has ushered in a hope for life eternal. I want to also use this opportunity to wish you all a blessed and happy new month of April. I know that great things will surely happen and keep happening to all of us.
In other news: Thank you all so much for reading and commenting on my blog, supporting me in this exciting adventure of writing! I always want to show my appreciation one way or another. This one is a quick and easy widget on my right sidebar titled April Blog Roll. Simply fill in your names and link your blog. I promise to visit, comment and if possible follow any blog listed there, that is if I'm not doing that already. I will also remind other blog visitors to check the blogs out in all the posts I make through out this month of April. So let the blogs roll!
Happy Easter!!
Thursday, April 1, 2010
Introducing my Family - UPDATE
Posted in:
HAPPY APRIL FOOLS FIRST!!!!
Thank you all for the beautiful comments, the wonderful prayers, and the total belief of my prank. Those who know these things better and how they are done say it should not pass twelve noon. I guess they did not take into account different time zones. I know it is evening and almost midnight in some places but it is just 11.50am here in my corner of the world. So permit me to say, mea culpa. The little mischief imp stole my hands, my thoughts and my laptop for the day.
Those pictures were NOT of Atala and the baby. They were the first pictures that came up on a search for CUTE African babies on google images. I think they fit the bill and BTW, Atala fine pass that guy sha, lol. But that baby, chai! God please give me that baby look alike, LOL.
Finally, thanks to all my FB friends who did not come around to spoil the show. So yeah, if you want to see Myne and Atala, find me on facebook.
ps, I am keeing all the prayers and wishes o.
pss, Abeg no curse me too much, you hear? Hehe
psss, I hope your chuckling now, please just laugh it off
pssss, Somebody thinks this was over- mischievous, what do you think?
Thank you all for the beautiful comments, the wonderful prayers, and the total belief of my prank. Those who know these things better and how they are done say it should not pass twelve noon. I guess they did not take into account different time zones. I know it is evening and almost midnight in some places but it is just 11.50am here in my corner of the world. So permit me to say, mea culpa. The little mischief imp stole my hands, my thoughts and my laptop for the day.
Those pictures were NOT of Atala and the baby. They were the first pictures that came up on a search for CUTE African babies on google images. I think they fit the bill and BTW, Atala fine pass that guy sha, lol. But that baby, chai! God please give me that baby look alike, LOL.
Finally, thanks to all my FB friends who did not come around to spoil the show. So yeah, if you want to see Myne and Atala, find me on facebook.
ps, I am keeing all the prayers and wishes o.
pss, Abeg no curse me too much, you hear? Hehe
psss, I hope your chuckling now, please just laugh it off
pssss, Somebody thinks this was over- mischievous, what do you think?
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
I wish to be (Poem)
Posted in:
Romantic Poems
Remember to catch up on the latest episode on Cupid's Risk Here. The match-making mother is back!
This one is for the fans of my poems. Hope you like, enjoy!
*************************
I wish to be
The music of your soul
Like the chorus of birds
Serenading you at dawn
I wish to be
The smile on your face
Caused by the sweet nothings
Whispered into your ears
I wish to be
The beating of your heart
The gentle rhythm-like throbbing
Deep inside your breast
I wish to be
The sunlight in your life
Like the mild morning rays
When you open the window blinds
I wish to be
All that you’ve dreamt of
All that you’ve hoped for
A gift of love forever
This one is for the fans of my poems. Hope you like, enjoy!
*************************
I wish to be
The music of your soul
Like the chorus of birds
Serenading you at dawn
I wish to be
The smile on your face
Caused by the sweet nothings
Whispered into your ears
I wish to be
The beating of your heart
The gentle rhythm-like throbbing
Deep inside your breast
I wish to be
The sunlight in your life
Like the mild morning rays
When you open the window blinds
I wish to be
All that you’ve dreamt of
All that you’ve hoped for
A gift of love forever
Monday, March 29, 2010
Uppers and Downers
Posted in:
Hi people,
Just to ask for some slack. I know I have not been doing my rounds as usual. I'm really missing knowing what's up with you guys. The reason is that the past couple of days have been chaotic for us, both good and bad.
So what was good? We had a housewarming for our new place and it was a great get together. Good company, great food (allow me to hail myself, I catered...lol) and flowing conversation. Trust it all boiled down to Nigerian politics once the Non-Nigerians present had left. And let me mention that our naija people sabi come late eh? Talk about fashionably late, some guests came more than two hours after the time we gave for the event. It was also nice that we had some of the food left over especially the great salad SO had broken a few nails over.
The bad? We were so tired afterwards that we went almost directly to bed. The next morning, it turns out that my delicious rice, the leftover of which I had left in the oven, had gone off. Ahh, it pained me oo, that rice was sweet. I had been looking forward to some ready made dinners and packed lunches for Atala. Oh well, we wrapped it in a trash bag and he went to throw it out. Guess what he found out outside?
Bad stuff number two! His bike had been stolen! That was a huge surprise and disappointment. Someone had broken the plastic pipe he'd chained it to and carried it off. Totally unexpected I tell you. Atala goes to work everyday with that bike and loves riding on nice weekends too. He really liked that bike. Anyway we chose to look on the bright side. It wasn't a work day when he would have come out all ready to leave for work with it and then found it missing. And in all things we thank God. Such is life. He has ordered another one today, and life goes on.
I've tried to catch up at some of your blogs but I think I needed to get this out of my system. So how have the rest of you all been doing? See you at yours soon.
Have a great week.
Just to ask for some slack. I know I have not been doing my rounds as usual. I'm really missing knowing what's up with you guys. The reason is that the past couple of days have been chaotic for us, both good and bad.
So what was good? We had a housewarming for our new place and it was a great get together. Good company, great food (allow me to hail myself, I catered...lol) and flowing conversation. Trust it all boiled down to Nigerian politics once the Non-Nigerians present had left. And let me mention that our naija people sabi come late eh? Talk about fashionably late, some guests came more than two hours after the time we gave for the event. It was also nice that we had some of the food left over especially the great salad SO had broken a few nails over.
The bad? We were so tired afterwards that we went almost directly to bed. The next morning, it turns out that my delicious rice, the leftover of which I had left in the oven, had gone off. Ahh, it pained me oo, that rice was sweet. I had been looking forward to some ready made dinners and packed lunches for Atala. Oh well, we wrapped it in a trash bag and he went to throw it out. Guess what he found out outside?
Bad stuff number two! His bike had been stolen! That was a huge surprise and disappointment. Someone had broken the plastic pipe he'd chained it to and carried it off. Totally unexpected I tell you. Atala goes to work everyday with that bike and loves riding on nice weekends too. He really liked that bike. Anyway we chose to look on the bright side. It wasn't a work day when he would have come out all ready to leave for work with it and then found it missing. And in all things we thank God. Such is life. He has ordered another one today, and life goes on.
I've tried to catch up at some of your blogs but I think I needed to get this out of my system. So how have the rest of you all been doing? See you at yours soon.
Have a great week.
What's Sex got to do with Love and Marriage?
Posted in:
Relationship Articles
,
sex
A review of Perfect Picture (First published on AfrikanGoddess)
I recently saw and loved The Perfect Picture, a Sparrow Productions movie. It was directed by Shirley Frimpong Manso and starred Jackie Appiah, Lydia Forson, Chris Attoh, among others. Technically, I was impressed by the picture quality, it was well edited and the colors were sharp and made everyone look more attractive. The audio also was clean and not overshadowed by background music. The soundtrack was a mixture of both Ghanaian and foreign music, each well suited to the scene except for a brief clip of the James Bond theme which I felt was unnecessary. I was completely blown away by the two dance sequences especially the one at the end of the movie, it were simply great.
On the story angle, I was not too disappointed. There were a few holes but I liked how they wove the three strands of the plot concerning the major characters and their love interests together. The story is about three friends in urban Ghana living everyday middle-class lives. The film opens with a wedding footage of one of the girls, who is getting married to her long term boyfriend. She is surrounded by friends and family including her two best friends. Along the line, we get to see their lives. There is the earthly sexy one who all the men are attracted to, and the workaholic who is being pressured by her mother to get married and have children. The man-eater ends up falling for an unavailable man, while the more reserved one falls for an unsuitable man.
The three girls navigate their love lives with the flair and panache one would imagine for their ages – they seem in their thirties. OK, so maybe the dialogue was a bit corny in parts and predictable in others but for a romantic sucker like me, I didn’t really mind. I like that the producers were bold enough to make a movie that tackles the issue of sex in relationships front and center. The married one and her husband cope with getting used to each other in bed once again. Our well-endowed lady goes clubbing and sleeps with her man friend with no questions asked. Even the quiet one has sex with her lowly mechanic and declares it, the best she’s had. I think she added “ever” but I am not sure now, lol.
A summary of the movie I saw somewhere said that “Girls will not settle for anything less if love is not in the picture”. So we are left to assume that love makes the perfect picture of a relationship. Totally true but eh, not so fast! What about sex? Here I will focus on the married couple, Aseye and Larry. The sexual incompatibility between them is very true in some marriages and was addressed full on.
We see at their wedding that they are in love with each other. They had dated for years and been celibate for about a year while planning the wedding. The reason was “to make it fresh and new” in the marriage. So wedding night comes and, they couldn’t get past the awkwardness of sex. The scene was over extended and there may have been some exaggerated head bumps and inexplicable elbow nudges but we saw what could happen when a married couple cannot consummate their love relationship with sex. The actors (Jackie Appiah and Chris Attoh) did their best to portray the emotions even though the script could have been better.
The Perfect Picture shows that when the sexual advances by a man or a woman are turned down by their partners, they can sometimes view themselves as being poor lovers. A lot of people believe that their desirability is defined by the love they receive from their partners. So they take sexual rejection very personally, because their sense of self-worth has become coupled to approval from their partner. It is not different between Aseye and Larry. She is depressed and despairs, while he is frustrated by his erectile dysfunction and suffers a lowered self-esteem. There had been no prior history but the resulting stress does not help matters for both of them. Larry tries to ‘handle’ the trouble on his own without much success. Work also gets in the way when Aseye wants to spice things up.
In a perfect world of love, one would have expected Aseye to assume the role of an understanding mate, and attempt to motivate Larry to be optimistic so that they could deal with their problem together no matter how long it takes. However, like it sometimes happens in real life, she becomes difficult, antagonistic and blames him for what is happening to them both. She only stops short of directly denigrating his manliness. The doctor they consulted pointed out to them that a healthy and relaxed mind is very important for a mutually enjoyable sex life. They go on to try some of his tips but all are for naught. Aseye then arranges a switch with her sexy friend to see if her friend could arouse Larry.
There is a whole misunderstanding after this which forms the climax of the movie. Afterwards, the couple had to ask themselves the question; “can love go the distance without sex?” Their answer was no as they go their separate ways. Is that how it ends? Watch the movie and find out.
Before then I ask you my dear reader, what’s sex got to do with love?
If it were you, what would you do?
ps, check out the latest episode of Cupid's Risk by Spesh...
I recently saw and loved The Perfect Picture, a Sparrow Productions movie. It was directed by Shirley Frimpong Manso and starred Jackie Appiah, Lydia Forson, Chris Attoh, among others. Technically, I was impressed by the picture quality, it was well edited and the colors were sharp and made everyone look more attractive. The audio also was clean and not overshadowed by background music. The soundtrack was a mixture of both Ghanaian and foreign music, each well suited to the scene except for a brief clip of the James Bond theme which I felt was unnecessary. I was completely blown away by the two dance sequences especially the one at the end of the movie, it were simply great.
On the story angle, I was not too disappointed. There were a few holes but I liked how they wove the three strands of the plot concerning the major characters and their love interests together. The story is about three friends in urban Ghana living everyday middle-class lives. The film opens with a wedding footage of one of the girls, who is getting married to her long term boyfriend. She is surrounded by friends and family including her two best friends. Along the line, we get to see their lives. There is the earthly sexy one who all the men are attracted to, and the workaholic who is being pressured by her mother to get married and have children. The man-eater ends up falling for an unavailable man, while the more reserved one falls for an unsuitable man.
The three girls navigate their love lives with the flair and panache one would imagine for their ages – they seem in their thirties. OK, so maybe the dialogue was a bit corny in parts and predictable in others but for a romantic sucker like me, I didn’t really mind. I like that the producers were bold enough to make a movie that tackles the issue of sex in relationships front and center. The married one and her husband cope with getting used to each other in bed once again. Our well-endowed lady goes clubbing and sleeps with her man friend with no questions asked. Even the quiet one has sex with her lowly mechanic and declares it, the best she’s had. I think she added “ever” but I am not sure now, lol.
A summary of the movie I saw somewhere said that “Girls will not settle for anything less if love is not in the picture”. So we are left to assume that love makes the perfect picture of a relationship. Totally true but eh, not so fast! What about sex? Here I will focus on the married couple, Aseye and Larry. The sexual incompatibility between them is very true in some marriages and was addressed full on.
We see at their wedding that they are in love with each other. They had dated for years and been celibate for about a year while planning the wedding. The reason was “to make it fresh and new” in the marriage. So wedding night comes and, they couldn’t get past the awkwardness of sex. The scene was over extended and there may have been some exaggerated head bumps and inexplicable elbow nudges but we saw what could happen when a married couple cannot consummate their love relationship with sex. The actors (Jackie Appiah and Chris Attoh) did their best to portray the emotions even though the script could have been better.
The Perfect Picture shows that when the sexual advances by a man or a woman are turned down by their partners, they can sometimes view themselves as being poor lovers. A lot of people believe that their desirability is defined by the love they receive from their partners. So they take sexual rejection very personally, because their sense of self-worth has become coupled to approval from their partner. It is not different between Aseye and Larry. She is depressed and despairs, while he is frustrated by his erectile dysfunction and suffers a lowered self-esteem. There had been no prior history but the resulting stress does not help matters for both of them. Larry tries to ‘handle’ the trouble on his own without much success. Work also gets in the way when Aseye wants to spice things up.
In a perfect world of love, one would have expected Aseye to assume the role of an understanding mate, and attempt to motivate Larry to be optimistic so that they could deal with their problem together no matter how long it takes. However, like it sometimes happens in real life, she becomes difficult, antagonistic and blames him for what is happening to them both. She only stops short of directly denigrating his manliness. The doctor they consulted pointed out to them that a healthy and relaxed mind is very important for a mutually enjoyable sex life. They go on to try some of his tips but all are for naught. Aseye then arranges a switch with her sexy friend to see if her friend could arouse Larry.
There is a whole misunderstanding after this which forms the climax of the movie. Afterwards, the couple had to ask themselves the question; “can love go the distance without sex?” Their answer was no as they go their separate ways. Is that how it ends? Watch the movie and find out.
Before then I ask you my dear reader, what’s sex got to do with love?
If it were you, what would you do?
ps, check out the latest episode of Cupid's Risk by Spesh...
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