Nse Ikpe Etim Writes on her Personal Journey to Love

It is not often that one finds a true love that lasts through the decades, and so when I read this Real Love Story from Nse, I just had to share. Enjoy...

Becoming Her by Nse Ikpe Etim

I had been immunized against the bug and this is received through all the amazing lessons life hands you on a platter.  I had a boyfriend when it was a taboo to have one. I was 17. Our first meeting was as ordinary as it gets. I went on a stroll which was not uncommon those days on our estate, and there came this young man driving his father’s car.

He stopped, chatted with me for a while and I wonder what he said that made me get into his car and have him drop me off. He called the intercom and we talked again but he knew the times to call when mum would not do the picking. Little did I know that the day he picked me up was the day I would begin the journey.

We spent our spare moments together, talking, walking and when we walked the streets, word travelled swiftly to our parents. On my arrival home, a cane was the welcome party. We always paid dearly for those nights because our parents wanted us to be straight kids, but we didn’t mind.

40 Romantic Movies For Your Valentine

Valentine’s day is practically just days away and love in the air any way we turn. We have been discussing things to do this Valentine, and one way that we both enjoy is to watch movies. While there's one we want to catch at the cinema the weekend after, we can also relax at home that evening with some oldies but goodies.

When I started thinking about romantic movies, I realised how many I'd need to go through to decide. My head seems filled with movie titles, and it's possible I've seen over a thousand! From romantic comedies to tear jerkers, Nollywood to Bollywood, Animations to Drama, Classic to Modern, I've seen them all. Okay Most of them.

Below are some I can remember right off the cuff, starting with the first two romantic movies I probably ever saw.

The Sound of Music

The King & I

When a Guy thinks the Lady knows Everything

My friend is a very pretty, intelligent, and confident lady who makes her own money. She is also a single mum who is on the dating scene. You would think her job or money was the sticking point for guys, but no, it is how well rounded and versatile she is intellectually and emotionally. She left this status message and it got me thinking, is this really an issue?

I need help! I met this dude a while back, we've been on a few dates, spend time on bbm, many phone calls, and many "oh-my-goodness-I-can't-believe-you-have-two-kids-you-are-so-pretty" compliments (heehee!). So here I am thinking a relationship is about to begin...until I got a text a minute ago.

Apparently, he was sending it to his friend but he mistakenly sent it to me. Text: "I like her a lot, I think I even love her but she is one strong woman, she knows everything. I feel like I'm never going to be able to add real value to her. I don't think I'm man enough to handle her..." Biko, what is he talking about???

On Adoption - Love Makes a Family Not Blood

I've always been comfortable with adopting, and since we've had trouble conceiving and I found out I was infertile, the plans to adopt have been moved forward. We've recently started the process of becoming foster parents, and hopefully adoptive parents. I plan to blog about that as I have more to say since it is not a day's journey. In the meantime, the topic "Does the Baby Have To Be the Fruit of Your Loins?" and the comments it generated got my attention on BN. Testimony submitted this awesome comment that I just had to share;

Love doesn't know blood. It is love that makes a family, not blood. I was raised by a single mum at the beginning. On getting to secondary school, my sperm donor said he wanted me to live with him, my mum reluctantly agreed. In under 2 years of living with him, I was abandoned, yes abandoned my my biological father. I annoyed him one night, and he dragged me in my night gown with no slippers on.

I was just 11years old, and he drove me to my grandma’s house, not even my mum’s house and he dropped me off, and he said he never wanted to have anything to do with us, this includes me, my sisters (also his children), and my brother, whom he denied from pregnancy (as the Lord always does these things, my brother is the SPITTING image of him).

O. T. Fagbenle - February Man Candy #8

O. T. Fagbenle was one of the nominations that came in on the very first post. And to think I never knew him before now. He is a British actor writer and director, and has appeared in several films, stage and television productions.

Romance is in the Air Giveaway Hop

To enter this contest, leave a comment below with your email address. What's up for grabs?

One eBook copy of my first novel A Heart to Mend (International!)

Gladys moves to live with an estranged aunt in Lagos and to continue her search for a job. Before long she lands the job of her dreams with the foremost oil company in the city and makes several new friends. She also gradually resolves the mystery of why her aunt previously cut all ties with their family. But the best part about her new life is meeting Edward Bestman.

Edward is good-looking, super rich but emotionally scarred. Gladys gets him to see that she loves him and that together they can surmount all their differences. However, when they return from a romantic trip abroad, they find that some unnamed people are about to take over his business empire. Edward's past has come back to haunt both of them.

Menu Ideas - How to Make Amala, eat with Ogbono

I've blogged about how I prepare my ogbono soup with Okro and this is a continuation. Most Nigerian soups are eaten with a variety of foo-foo, from poundo yam, cassava, amala, and eba. Some have added blended oatmeal to the list as well as mash potatoes. Today's menu idea is using amala, which is dried yam flour, also called Elubo by Atala. The preparation is simple;

Ingredients

Elubo
Water

Directions

1. In a medium sized pot, bring the water to a slow boil. Also heat some water in an electric kettle, or set aside some of the boiling water in a cup.
2. Add the Elubo flour to the water in the pot, and stir.
3. If it is thick, add some boiled water from the kettle. If too soft, add some more elubo.
4. Continue to stir until you get your desired consistency, it should ideally be smooth in texture without lumps.

A Promise Ring Versus an Engagement Ring?

When a man proposes with a ring to the woman he's dating or in love with, the intention is not in doubt, he wants to marry the women in the nearest possible time. This will usually be within a few months to a couple of years or as long as it takes to plan and execute a wedding of their choice. When the lady accepts the ring and wears it, she is saying yes to this request of a future marriage and will probably start asking to set a wedding date soon after.

But what of a promise ring or getnamenecklace rings? Does it signify the same thing? Not necessarily. I've heard of promise rings in several instances and some are not even romantic. Girlfriends can decide to buy each other or themselves promise rings to be friends forever, abstain together till marriage, etc. Some also use promise rings to pledge fidelity before marriage or after an extra-marital affair, etc. On a few occasions, promise rings are used to signify that an engagement is in the future, maybe in five years or more. In those scenarios, they are used as a placeholder, as they're mostly cheaper than engagement rings.

The question is, would you accept a promise ring when you're able, willing and ready to hear the real "Will You Marry Me?"

Dear Myne - My Boyfriend Doesn't Pick my Calls

Before I accepted to go out with him, he called and texted me all the time, he would wake me with inspirational messages, and wish you goodnight before I slept. We've barely been dating three months and he hardly ever calls me anymore. His excuse is that we see each other more often now and know where we stand with each other but it's not convincing to me. When he was after me, we saw once a week, now maybe we see two or three times, is that not almost the same?

Now, he traveled to Nigeria two weeks ago and it has become worse. He called when he arrived and since then nothing. He doesn't even pick my calls when I do reach out to him. Sometimes it rings with no answer and other times, he sends a text to say he's busy and will call later, but he won't call. This makes me feel like I'm stalking him, and it's turning me off.

I'm not usually impatient like this but his movement is so suspicious. We had been talking about our marriage in a few months since we started dating but the last time I brought it up, he brushed it away. I'm really unhappy about this and thinking of breaking it off.

Where Do Broken Hearts Go by Eky Shirley

Heart Break Hotel

Since he left Adele’s someone like you has become your favourite song, probably on permanent repeat on your playlist. Since she left you have been singing that Boyz II Men’s song ‘doing just fine’.

The heart break hotel is surely not a nice place to be. The food here is tasteless, it doesn’t matter if you have got a good bed because you still have sleepless nights, sentences become empty, words are just letters, movies are just pictures and voices are unwanted noise. The toilet paper is finished not because it isn’t enough or you have a bad case of dysentery but because of the many tears you have shed. Nothing really makes sense in this hotel.

You trust no man that says the three words to you ‘I love you’ and you trust no woman who cares too much. It could have been 1 heart break or a series of bad relationships. Love has dealt you heavy blows and left a sour taste in your mouth. Now you are hemorrhaging from your heart. Your heart is shattered beyond repairs or so you think. You have been asking yourself; how, do I start all over again? We were perfect or so you thought.