Should you spend Valentine with your Wife or Girlfriend?

Someone sent me a link to this video made by Battabox which asked men the question above. Honestly, I didn't know whether to laugh or shake my head. Is the assumption in Nigeria then that most married men have girlfriends too, to the extent of ditching their wives on Valentine's Day? Am I being naive to think this is a crazy, stupid question? Or is it a valid topic of discussion? I want to hear from those who live in Nigeria, please. The video itself is quite crappy, but you can see it here.

Coconut Flakes Frosted Cake

In the sweetness of Valentine's Day, I'll be sharing a couple of the naughtiness I get up to in the food department. As much as one tries to eat healthily, sometimes you just relax and enjoy. Before I go too far, let me clearly state that I did not make this cake. It was bought from Whole Foods by a friend for Atala's birthday which was last week.

I think I've had coconut cake before but I don't think I've tasted one as good as this, it was extra awesome. What made it stand out even more was that the frosting was completely made from coconut flakes, I loved it as did Atala and it was gone the next day :)

Prayer is Effective in Finding a Husband

Our selected cinema movie this valentine is “Beautiful Creatures,” whose trailer got my attention not just because of the fantasy story, but also the clips of Viola Davis. I was looking around online for more news on the movie and came across this interview the Oscar nominee from last year’s “The Help” gave to Page Six.

She said, “I was the loneliest woman in the world, and someone said, ‘You should just pray for a husband.’ ” She took her pal’s advice, adding, “I said I wanted a big black man from the South who looked like a football player, who already had children, who maybe had been married before . . . 3 1/2 weeks later I met my husband.”

The rest is now history, Viola Davis went on to marry actor and former college football player, Julius Tennon in 2003, and they adopted a daughter named Genesis last year. Isn't that amazing?

I have my own confession to make.

She Just Might be More into You than You Think

The subtle signs that men miss - Part 1 by Tobi Atte

Have you ever had that teacher that walked in on the first day of class and said “You already have an “A” in this class… your Job is to keep it that way till the end of the class”. Well, it’s a very similar situation with the ladies. Sorry ladies…I’m about to leak some secrets ….but not to worry. It’s for a good cause. Many good men here could use the help.

Many men think that most women are rude and snobby when in actuality; they just don’t understand the non-verbal or underlying messages that the women are sending them. Most times when women are sending those unconscious messages, they do so without even thinking about it and they do so for many reasons. For the sake of this article we will say there are four.

(A) To invite you to make a move or approach without being obvious about it
(B) To tell you that it’s ok for you to take the lead
(C) To test whether or not what they think they see (e.g) confidence , is actually who you are.
(D) To test the boundaries…to see what you can take….if you can handle them where they are emotionally, physically, spiritually etc.

That said, most men are not very good at telling when a woman is interested. They often misinterpret the cues and miss out.  In this two-part series, you will learn 6 of most underrated signs that she may just be more into you than you think. These are the first 3:

12 Ties that Bind Long-Term Relationships by Susan Krauss Whitbourne,

1. Thinking positively about your partner. Having positive thoughts about your partner means that you focus on the good, not the bad, in your partner’s personal qualities and character. Ruminating about the things that bother you can only lead you to magnify the small foibles which will make your partner even more irritating to you than you would otherwise feel.  People in good relationships engage in “sentiment override,” meaning that they remember more of the favorable than the unfavorable experiences they’ve shared together.

2. Thinking about your partner when apart. When you leave your partner for the day, the evening, or for an extended period of time, do you forget about his or her existence? Is it out of sight and out of mind for you? If so, this may be a sign that you’re not that much in love. You don’t have to spend every second apart sighing longingly, but the fact that your partner isn’t there should at least cross your mind some of the time during the course of the average day.

3. Difficulty concentrating on other things when thinking about your partner. If you’re able to set aside your thoughts about your partner without much effort, this suggests that your partner takes up only a small amount of cognitive load.  Multitasking isn’t particularly desirable when it comes to musing over your loved one. In the O'Leary study, this factor was particularly important for men.

Julius and IB Agwu on Marriage - Don't Bottle Issues

Julius Agwu, a comedian/musician, has been married to his wife, Ibiere for five years and they have a daughter, Zahra. They talk about their marriage in this interview, and personally, I think this is quite honest, the way they engaged with the interviewer's questions.

You have been married for five years. How has the journey been like?

Ibiere: It has been good.

How did you meet?

Julius: We met at a wedding in year 2000; she was part of the bridal train. Incidentally, Okey Bakassi and I were the comperes at the event, and both of us competed on who would be the first to ask her out. I made the first move but she was too little, she was underage.

Ibiere (cuts in): I was 18, I was not underage.

Julius Agwu: Well, she was 18 but she was a baby. I just saw one beautiful girl. I was smarter, I was faster, and I was able to get her contact. We became friends but she started putting up an attitude whenever I tried reaching her. At a point, I called her bluff and wondered who she was. In fact, I forgot about her.

Adams Apples Season 2 Premieres Feb 14th

The Adam's ladies are back. Or they will be, come Valentine's day for those in Ghana. Oh...I wish I were there! Adam's Apples is a Sparrow Production’s 10-chapter film series directed by Shirley Frimpong Manso. I only just finished watching the series over the Christmas holidays, and thought that was it. But there's season two, which is going to be on TV [does that mean it comes online sooner?] Below is part of the transcript from a video interview with Shirley on what to expect;

Well, we’re meeting the Adams family a year after we left them. And we left them on a very good note. So, yes, there wasn’t much of a cliff-hanger but I guess the interesting this is where can we take the stories of these people who seem to have found happiness at the end of a very long, for want of a better word, turbulent life experience. We are starting the second season on a big bombshell. Okay? Yes.

And we are taking…I think the most exciting part for us is the fact that we’re starting, not necessarily from Ghana. We’re starting some of the scenes from Paris with Jennifer and her young husband on honeymoon. And then, of course, we’re catching up with all the other couples. But we come to realise that after marriage, after you’ve said your ‘I dos’, that’s when life really begins, you know, for married couples.

DJ Exclusive - February Man Candy #13

DJ Exclusive is a Nigerian music producer and has worked with several high profile musicians including the EME Group. He was nominated by a reader, and I agree that he looks great!

Get a Free Divorce for Valentine in Michigan

I thought I'd seen it all when I read on Vera's blog about a funeral company offering their service as the perfect Valentine gift. It is so morbid, but in some ways can be seen as romantic - you guys will be together till death and not even that will separate you - and funtional. Now some lawyers are taking it a step further, offering a valentine contest with the prize being a free divorce. Again, this gift is not for me. In fact I reject am though the lawyer offering up believes he's being nice in doing it.

He got the idea, he tells ABC News, when one of his students in a night school class he teaches invited him to a party. "She'd just had her divorce finalized," says Bentley, "and she was celebrating. I'd never thought about that before—celebrating divorce. So, I thought, why not do something special for Valentine's Day? You can't find a new love before you close the chapter on the old."

Bentley's website gives contest rules: "The winner will be chosen based on the most compelling and convincing story as to why they should be the winner. The divorce is limited to an uncontested divorce with no or minimum child custody issues." It's limited to Michigan residents. The deadline for applying is 11:59 p.m. EST on February 12.

My Questions on the Pope's Resignation, Answered

Since the news of Pope Benedict's resignation yesterday, some questions had been on my mind. I am not Roman Catholic, but as a child, we held loads of these long discussions on the pope and RC catechism. Like I was saying to someone, Pope John Paul II was like THE POPE then, I never heard anything like a resignation or abdication. I assumed Popes couldn't and only death could separate them and their office. Well, now I know better...not only can popes resign [Benedict is not the first], they are also not always infallible. The eye-opening Q and A below;

Will he still be infallible?

No—and in fact, he’s never been infallible. In accordance with the First Vatican Council of 1870, the pope is infallible only when he makes an ex cathedra statement—that is, a statement concerning “a doctrine concerning faith or morals to be held by the whole Church.” Most popes never make ex cathedra statements during their papacy; only one infallible statement (regarding the Assumption of Mary) has been made since the First Vatican Council of 1870. Pope John XXIII was quoted as saying, “I am only infallible if I speak infallibly but I shall never do that, so I am not infallible.” Pope Benedict XVI has never spoken ex cathedra, and he will lose the ability to do so once he resigns from the papacy.