Nkem Ivara - Closer Than A Brother [Author Interview]

I have featured Nkem Ivara,  previously on this blog, where she shared her own love story. She is the blogger behind The Wordsmythe, and back then I described her as also a writer, and aspiring author. Today, her first book, Closer than a Brother, has just been published by Whispers Press. Talking about the road to publishing this book, Nkem says;

"I'm a hopeless romantic, I love happy endings. I grew up reading lots of romance novels whose heroes and heroines were predominantly white. I wanted to read stories about black characters falling in love but there were none. This has changed considerably since my youth, there's now a representation of the black community in the romance genre. I wanted to write a story that explored the transition of best friends from friendship to falling in love."

She adds that the Internet has been a powerful tool in helping her not only to write but to network, collaborate and share with and among fellow writers. Just like in my own experience, the internet and social media made it easy for Nkem to reach a wide audience and get instant feedback. We are both members of the Romance Writers of West Africa, and it was a pleasure to engage Nkem in this informative interview.

Never Rob a Woman in Pajamas by Afronuts

‘Wetin dis girl wear so? No be pinjamas be dat?’ Wasiu whispered harshly, his hemp smelling breath fanning across Rasaq’s cheeks.

Rasaq squinted and furrowed his nose. Though he had spent majority of his lifetime living amongst weed smokers who tried to buy his interest by exaggerating its purported ‘benefits’, he still could not generate an iota of affinity for the infamous herb.

‘E be like so oh’, He replied frowning to focus as if his vision could zoom in.

They were poised to operate for the night; Wasiu with motorbike revving and ready, Rasaq seated behind with a locally fabricated pistol held tightly in his right hand positioned for action. Their target was a lone female figure strolling briskly along the dark edges of Ayanikoro neighborhood; the areas that the poorly lit streetlights failed to illuminate.

She actually was in a weird white outfit that looked pajamas with a pair of sandals. Though she wore a haircut, her gait, the presence of a full backside and pointed breasts was what assured them that she was female. She carried a rucksack on her back and a polythene bag in her right hand.

Adenike Ogunlesi Ruff'n'Tumble - Motivational Woman #8

"Adenike Ogunlesi is the founder of Ruff 'n' Tumble, a childrens clothing line in Nigeria. From a tiny shop with her and her mother as the main staff, Adenike turned Ruff 'n' Tumble into an instantly recognizable International brand. She has built a reputation for being one of the best manufacturers of children's clothing in Nigeria. For more than a decade now, Adenike Ogunlesi’s Ruff 'n' Tumble has earned accolades, both at home and abroad, with her exciting and hip apparels in the children clothing business.

In her second year as an undergraduate law student at the Ahmadu Bello University in Zaria, Adenike opted out of school unsure of what to do with her life. She reluctantly accepted her mother's invitation to work in her womens tailor shop. That experience helped her to discover who she was and what she wanted to do. Today Ruff 'N' Tumble is a thriving business with 50 employees and distribution along the West African coast.

TuFace And Annie Idibia's Traditional Wedding Photos

Annie Macaulay, now Idibia

Tuface and Annie Macaulay got engaged last February with a public proposal, and now they are sealing it. Initial photos of Tuface and Annie Idibia's traditional wedding were posted on Instagram by Nollywood Actress Kate Henshaw, and some other friends of the couple. Both celebrants are all dressed up and the wedding is going on right now in Eket. I will keep adding photographs as they come through.

Another Blogger Proposal - A Dubai Engagement!

Love is a beautiful thing, and it is even more beautiful when it is shared. Recently, a blogger who I consider quite close got engaged to the love of her life in the shadows of the Burj Al Arab. She says;

I won't lie, I have truly found love! Lol! I'm full of joy. Even when we have issues or arguments, we both know it wouldn't break us so we vex for some hours and someone (usually him lol!) would send a text saying "I'm hungry" for instance. That would break the ice and we'll laugh then calmly talk through issues. I so can't wait to be his wifey! Lol! Not like much would change but I would see him more and spend more time with him, so looking forward to that.

I was going like Awww...Awww... at each pic. LOL... They were looking so sweet and cute, the love was just too visible! Congrats dearie, and now praying for a wedding that goes without hitches, and an even more amazing marriage. Now, now, I know some of us can add two and two and get four, but let's spare the blogger's anonymity for those who don't know. Enjoy the exclusive pictures below...

Wanting to Know the Reason For a Break-up

Tone Bell as RJ

We watch this comedy on NBC sometimes, Whitney, and they recently added a new regular Tone Bell. The guy is a proper eye candy, and they show is giving us the full dose of his goodness. In the last episode, they had him nude in a small bath tub while nursing a bruised heart from a break up.

But this post is not about RJ's toned abs, or the blurred pixels they put over his flesh colored underpants. No, not really. It is about the afore-mentioned bruised heart. RJ had just been dumped by his girlfriend and he couldn't get over it. His major problem was that she didn't tell him why, and he wanted to know!

He said not knowing was like a torn in a sensitive spot, he always kept going back to it. He wondered if his lovemaking was stale, if had BO or if his mouth smelled. He just wanted to know why, and without knowing, he was afraid of moving on to another lady and getting a big fat no for his efforts.

Stopping Violence and Rape Against Women

In the United States yesterday, President Obama signed a renewal of the Violence Against Women Act which expands the protections extended to victims of domestic abuse and sexual assault. The original bill was written by Vice President Joe Biden, and in his statements reauthorizing a strengthened version,  Obama said,

...we’ve come a long way. Back when Joe wrote this law, domestic abuse was too often seen as a private matter, best hidden behind closed doors. Victims too often stayed silent or felt that they had to live in shame, that somehow they had done something wrong. Even when they went to the hospital or the police station, too often they were sent back home without any real intervention or support. They felt trapped, isolated. And as a result, domestic violence too often ended in greater tragedy.

So one of the great legacies of this law is that it didn’t just change the rules; it changed our culture. It empowered people to start speaking out. It made it okay for us, as a society, to talk about domestic abuse. It made it possible for us, as a country, to address the problem in a real and meaningful way. And it made clear to victims that they were not alone -- that they always had a place to go and they always had people on their side.

Uche Pedro of Bellanaija - Motivational Woman #7

Uche Pedro is the founder of BellaNaija.com, a leading website for entertainment, lifestyle and fashion in Africa and CEO/MD of Bainstone Limited, a new media company. At 25, she was rated #22 of the Top 100 people, places, events and things that shaped 2008 by PUNCH.

Uche was a 2010 Future Awards nominee for “Best Use of Technology”. She was also given Outstanding Contribution to Fashion Communication Award at the 2010 Africa Fashion Week held by Africa Fashion International (AFI) in Johannesburg, South Africa.

She was featured on Oprah Winfrey show, Beauty Around the World, in February 2010 and was interviewed by Isha Sesay for CNN i-list in September, 2010.

When Will He Pop The Question - If Ever?

Every woman understands how difficult it can be to put in serious time with a guy who refuses to commit. Or better yet, as soon as you break up with a guy, you hear about him putting a ring or another girl’s finger!

Most women assume a guy will pop the question when he finds someone he’s compatible with — when he finds “The one,” — but sometimes that’s not enough to make him commit. So,  just what does it take to get him to marry you?

The simple answer is: It takes him being ready. It has been my experience from the married men I have talked to, that in order to make the decision, takes 49% of finding the right woman and 51% is the guy being ready to commit.  If he’s not ready, he will not commit to anyone!

In fact 81% of married men surveyed said one reason they decided to get married was because it was the right time to settle down. Of course, even if a guy is ready to walk down the aisle, he still needs to find the right person. But he is more likely to meet her once he’s in that marriage state of mind. To help the girls find out when a guy’s ready to commit, here the five major signs to look out for that indicate that he’s ready to take it to the marriage level.

My First Baby Shower in America

I think Baby Showers are an American construct. I never heard about it while in Nigeria and in my time in the UK, I had a few friends/colleagues who had babies, but there were no baby showers. In Nigeria, usually, the celebration is after the woman has had the baby, and there is baby powder and laughter and rejoicing.

Here in the US, the birth of the baby is heralded a few months or weeks before the ED and it helps the mother to be to keep up the excitement as she receives gifts from family and friends that help her prepare for the arrival of the new baby.

I had missed a couple of previous showers which took place while I was in Nigeria, but when a new friend, who happens to be from my village in Asaba, invited me to her baby shower, I just knew I had to be there. It was a great way to celebrate that joy with all the other women there, and to show support to my sister/friend. Now counting down the days to welcoming the new baby :)