When Do You Tell the World About Your Relationship

Waje and MI are friends and colleagues, some say they have a romance going on. Waje is a popular Nigerian pop singer, and well loved for her great vocals. She was a guest performer at Darey's Love like a Movie concert [see photos], and also more recently, she hosted MI's Chairman premiere to a global audience on Google+ Hangout.

When asked in a recent interview about that role, she said, "I bond well with MI, and the whole Chocolate City family, so people assume I am an artiste under that label, but it is not so." Her response when the interviewer probed further on rumors of a possible romance gave rise to the title of this post;

Don’t you think MI likes you? I saw his Tweet where MI complained that you had “brother zoned” him.
(laughs) Leave him a beg, he is not serious, we are just friends. Even if we are dating, is it something I would tell the world?

Now, I don't know if Waje and MI are dating or not, but what I'm curious about is this - when do you tell the world about your relationship? Is it a time thing, or a status or seriousness thing? Time, as in 3 months, 6 months, a year? Or status, like it's complicated, exclusive, etc? Do you only tell when you get engaged, or even when you get married?

Chinua Achebe Passes - Tribute and my Favorite Quotes

Chinua Achebe is dead. Hearing the news of the death was a shock, yes he was old, but you still sometimes expect old lions to live forever. Chinua Achebe's different books, articles and essays he's written have had a significant influence on my own thoughts and views of the world. I find it instructive that he had a great belief in the power of the word and of writers to affect their society. He was an outspoken critic of the Nigerian government, even after the switch to democracy.

Chinua Achebe publicly rejected National Honors and Awards bestowed on him. His final book, There Was A Country, published last year, shared his unvarnished thoughts on the main actors of the Nigerian civil war. Chinua Achebe may be dead now, but he has certainly laid down an enduring legacy. May his soul rest in peace and may his family be comforted.

From the Nelson Mandela Center;

On behalf of our Chairperson, Board of Trustees and staff of the Nelson Mandela Centre of Memory, we would like to offer our condolences to the family of Prof. Chinua Achebe, a great African writer and thinker, who passed away on 21 March 2013 at the age of 82. Nelson Mandela referred to Prof. Achebe as a writer “in whose company the prison walls fell down”.

Dear Myne - My Fiance Has a Daughter with Another Woman

I met my fiancé ten years ago but we only started dating last year, he’s always proposed his intention from the beginning but I was immature then and he’s good looking, and always having girls flocking around. So I told myself I’d rather be his friend than lover, less heartache.

Years gone by and a few relationships later, we decided to give love a chance. Mind you, I’m overseas and he is in Naija. With two failed long-distance relationship under my belt, I like to think I’m a better person for distance relationship. I don’t fancy white men and not enough black men where I reside now.

The problem is my fiancé has a three years old daughter he did not mention in our years of friendship but told me about it few months before I went to Naija for Christmas holiday last year. At first I was disappointed because for once I was truly happy and contented with myself and my relationship and now there is trouble.

However, I forgave him for not telling me earlier and took it in stride. I even defended him even after my parent raised their concerns.

Watch Gidi Up Episode 4 - Frenemies

Gidi Up is a thrilling adventure centered around the lives of four friends in pursuit of happiness, success and independence. However, a few wrong choices quickly turn their Lagos dreams into a Gidi nightmare.

In this episode of Gidi Up Tokunbo meets up with old friends, Monye discovers Eki's crush and Obi reveals a secret. Music by Black Coffee - Turn Me On, and Linda Ikeji's blog even gets a namecheck, lol...

Gidi Up is written, produced and directed by Jadesola Osiberu.

Catch up with Episode 1 and 2 HERE and Episode 3 HERE.

Couple Love at the Premiere of Olympus Has Fallen

Angela Basset and Morgan Freeman

I mentioned in one of my former reviews that January and February are not the best months for movies at the cinema, but with March ending and Spring knocking, some block busters are here. One of the movies I've set my eyes on is Antoine Fuqua’s “Olympus Has Fallen” and it is just awesome that it has some of my favorite actors, Gerard Butler, Morgan Freeman and Angela Basset.

Enjoy some more couple pictures from the premiere below;

Enough is Enough Nigeria on the Controversial Presidential Pardon

I thoroughly agree with the EnoughisEnough Nigeria vision, and will support it where I can. However, when this PR came in, I was in two minds about publishing it. EnoughisEnough Nigeria works through activism and youth mobilization to institute a culture of good governance and public accountability in Nigeria, and so a comminique rejecting the recent Presidential Pardon is perfectly in order, I too condemned it here.

The part of their write-up II do not agree with is the part calling on the international communities to bring sanctions against Nigeria, and by extension, Nigerians. I do not believe such a call reflects well on the soverignity of the country, and if these sanctions are economic, the negative impacts will be felt most by the poorest people in Nigeria. With that out of the way, this is the message.

Last week Tuesday, March 12, 2013, President Goodluck Jonathan pardoned seven Nigerians. While three of the pardons have been particularly controversial, another three have raised semantic issues as they had been granted ‘clemency’ under the regime of General Abdusalam Abubakar in 1999.

Of the seven pardons granted, the most talked about is that of ex-Governor D.S.P. Alamieyeseigha of Bayelsa state, who jumped bail in the UK in 2005 on money laundering charges but was later tried and convicted in Nigeria by the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission (EFCC). Mr Alamieyeseigha is still wanted abroad. The second most talked about pardon, is that of Major Bello Magaji, who was convicted in 1996 of sodomizing little children. The third controversial pardon is that given to Mustapha Bulama, former Managing Director of the Bank of the North, who converted customers’ deposits into personal funds, crashing what was once Nigeria's biggest bank.

Natural Indian or Peruvian Hair Extensions Vs Synthetic?

Before I go on, let me state categorically that I do NOT believe in possessed hair extensions, natural or synthetic. Even before natural Indian hair extensions became popular in the Nigerian market, such stories as the one below have always made the rounds in Christian and secular circles. I guess they are meant to discourage those who some pastor or spiritual types think want to look "better than God made them". It may also be a way of staking authority over women's bodies, minds and actions.

A contact on Facebook tagged me in the above ad for their hair extension business, and before long, they had to qualify it with this quote. - "Mide's Mane is not Brazilian/Indian/Peruvian. It is luxury virgin hair designed specifically under the brand name." I'm guessing they got some questions and negative comments on their initial pictures. If you haven't heard or read about how this distinction between natural and synthetic extensions might be necessary, and why synthetic may be preferable, read Rachel Edjeren's story.

I think it's good that Rachel followed her spirit, but trying to cause mass hysteria, or foisting her fears and insecurities on others is another thing altogether. I wear my hair unrelaxed but that does not rule out using extensions, and even then, I will not try to use my own justifications for cutting my hair to shoe horn or scare other women into doing the same.

What do you guys think?

When The Sex Predator is Inside Your Own Home

A crime news report from the Punch newspaper has got me almost weeping this early morning. Sex predators abound, but it is so heart breaking when they target children, it becomes monstrous when such a predator uses the cover of his home to molest his daughters and grand daughter. In a country like Nigeria where such cases are part of what "we do not talk about," effectively shutting up the victims from reporting the crime, or getting help through counselling and therapy, it is especially heinous!

But beyond lamenting such cases as we often read about in the papers and blogs, I want to point out the role the adult woman in such a situation has to play. In this story, I was baffled by the statement from the wife of the accused pedophile. Let us forget for a moment that the extended family is also complicit in this dastardly act, do you think the wife did all she could? Her story...

“I am a caterer. In 2006 I went to Abuja for a catering job where I spent five days. But at about 1am, my first daughter, who was about 17-years-old at the time, called me on the phone crying that her father raped her that night.

“When I returned, I confronted him but he beat me up and he continued to molest our daughter and each time I confronted him, it earned me a beating. I had no choice but to leave him when I got fed up with seeing him molesting our daughter and later sleeping with me. I took my six children and we relocated.”

She said in 2011, Sylvester’s family settled their differences and urged the couple to reconcile for the sake of the children. She said her husband swore never to touch any of his daughters again and she reluctantly returned to her husband’s house.

The Long Awaited Wedding Night by TJ Benson

144…That was the number of ceiling boards in Martin’s room. He had spent the last 2041 seconds counting the 144 asbestos ceiling boards of his elegantly furnished bedroom. While his newly wedded wife lay beside him seemingly a thousand miles away…

His friends had warned him, his elder brother and even his father had hinted something to that effect- these things didn’t always turnout right not in this era anyway. But he had made a solemn promise with Onome when they were 16 to wait until after marriage.

His father was initially proud of him. Such discipline, his father said, was what made a man a man. But after he graduated from the polytechnic and got a job, his father began to worry if his son was really a man. Weren’t they engaged to be married? Hadn’t they been faithful to each other for the past 10 years? Then what was the problem? The poking and prodding ad been relayed through his mother and eventually ended up in uncomfortable confrontations from his father. He solved the problem by moving out of their home.

Then there was the issue of peer pressure. Some of his acquaintances had been disgusted at what they believed to be his childish decision. “What would I be doing with a hot pastor’s daughter for 10years!” they cried. She had not been spared either. Her fellow female choir members had warned, “life is not a fairytale and you don’t even know whether he is impotent sef.” Sometimes, they would exchange the stories and laugh off the tension and even find more strength in themselves in the process.

How to Make Fried Rice With Peas and Sausages

For variety, each time I make fried rice, the ingredients and the method of preparation differs. On this occasion, I used sliced sausages as the meat accompaniment, and peas for the vegetable.

Ingredients
3 cups of long-grain rice
2 ladles vegetable oil
1 pack of frozen peas
Defrosted Sausages - Diced
4 small fresh tomatoes, chopped
1 medium size onion, chopped
2 Teaspoon of dry pepper
4 Knorr Chicken cubes
Salt and Spices to Taste


Directions

A - PARBOILING THE RICE

1. Set 5 cups of water to boil, or enough to cover your rice twice.
2. When it boils, pour the rice in and allow to boil again.
3. Reduce heat and simmer for 10 mins.
4. Remove from heat and pour the rice into a colander with small sized holes.
5. Turn the rice into a container filled with cold water, and sieve again.
6. Repeat this, rubbing the rice lightly between your fingers until it feels starch-free.