Are there Truly Happy Marriages in Nigeria?

The main reason I write romance novels, and why I moved into blogging about relationships is that I wish more people, and women especially have a better experience of their relationships and marriages. I have defended good and happy marriages before when an article insisted they were all based on lies [see post], but I have also wondered why Nigerian marriages are sometimes such a farce? [see post].

The issue of the dysfunction in Nigerian marriages have come up again. Sting asked whether truly happy marriages exist in Nigeria. She wrote;

At this point I want to know what is the incentive for me to get married. People don't take their vows seriously, no one wants to work on their marriages anymore, the divorce rate is too damn high. Seriously, what is the point of marriage? Is it just a rite of passage that I am expected to go through as an African woman?

I hear stories of people who regret getting married and are truly unhappy but stuck because of societal expectations. If you are married, are you happy? Is it what you expected? Do you think finding the right person is luck or you did something special ( besides pray). What would you do differently?

Dear Myne - Did I Frustrate and Drive Him Away?

I am in my late twenties and working and living in the US. Last year, a friend asked if she could give my number to a guy she knew living and working in the UK, he was actively looking for a wife to settle down with. We were to chat, get to know ourselves and see if we wanted to take it to the dating/courting level, and I agreed.

Though she briefed me about him, I found myself sleuthing and snooping around on the Internet to know more about him. I didn't hear from him for about two weeks after he had been given my number.  I decided to add him on Facebook - by this time I said if he didn't respond I'd write him off as not interested.

He did add me, introduced himself and apologized for delaying to connect out of work since our mutual friend had strongly recommended me. I accepted his apology and soon after, our mutual friend contacted me, saying he told her he was quite keen after seeing my profile and he was going ahead to court me (bla bla bla), and she asked me to please be kind to him as he was a very nice person.

That Gang Rape in 2011 actually Happened in Rivers State

A rape video went viral last year, and I think before the news about it died down, a couple of the suspects had been arrested. It was generally believed that the rape took place at the Abia State University, but the police have confirmed it did not, but in Rivers State. Vanguard reports that Abia State government is not happy.

Reacting to the revelation by the Police in Rivers State that the gang rape actually took place at Obite in Etche local government area of Rivers State, Chief of Staff to the state governor, Mr. Cosmos Ndukwe, warned that the state had had enough of the embarrassment. He said the state government would no longer take kindly  to politically-motivated bad press directed against it.

According to him, those who linked the incident to Abia State University were hasty and to say the least, made with so much bad blood. He said they already formed their opinion without any investigation, noting that they also refused to listen to Abia State Police Command which preliminary investigations showed that the incident did not happen in the state.

While he has a point, not everything has to be political bad press. The outrage should be directed at finding and prosecuting the culprits, and not on debating the venue of the crime.

Okadabooks - Buy Books Via MobilePhone SMS Credit

While Okechukwu Ofili came to me with this idea, I was blown away. Not only did he agree with my belief that Nigerians do read, he took it a step further and did something. Okadabooks is a fast, simple and fun way to read ebooks in Nigeria without ever having to worry about how to pay with cash, card, whatever. You send a text to top up your account, choose a book, then download and start reading – it’s as easy as riding an okada. It’s book reading, reinvented. Oh yeah, and it may be cheaper than the Okada you rode yesterday!

The eBook reader app is currently in the test launch phase. During this time books will available to anyone in Nigeria with an android phone. You will be able to purchase the available books using your phone credit, including all the major phone providers. My short story, Best Friends Forever is on the app in full for a mere N150. There also free books, and some go for as little as N20. You are also assured of a good variety of titles and categories, and this will keep growing. We may even extend to Apple and Windows soon.

To download the app, click HERE. To find out more about Okadabooks, check out their faq.

Jayz Shows Beyonce Love on Instagram - She Saved Me

I am not the only one getting some online PDA [See Atala's 15 Things I Love about my Nigerian Wife].

JayZ is showing Beyonce cool love on Instagram. In addition to the captioned picture above, there are a couple of others below and more on his page. You can follow him here. I am also on instagram, here :)

What is #tbt, that's the caption to the third picture.

Kim K Responds to the Fake Tweet about Nigerian Women

I think the real Kim Kardashian was quite gracious, but that's only to be expected. And she's getting all this wahala on top her pregnancy. People should be careful o. Someone said the guy who made the initial fake tweet needs to offer an apology, I say that may be stretching it. The guy is already unrepentant [see post].

What we need to do is start a #NigerianWomenLoveKimK. What say you all?

#allnawash

Blast from the Past: Awolowo, HID and Their Children

Awolowo and HID

Obafemi Awolowo (March 6, 1909 - May 9, 1987) was a Nigerian politician and leader, a Yoruba Chief, and considered a founding father of Nigeria, he was the first premier of the Western Region in 1954. He married Hannah Idowu Dideolu in 1937. I've shared a picture of Awolowo and HID on their wedding day here. They had two sons and three daughters. He was a practicing Wesleyan Methodist. Awolowo died in his home town, Ikenné on May 9, 1987.

Will You Write Your Own Wedding Vows?

It is easier when you have a non-denominational wedding, or an independent priest officiating your wedding, otherwise you might just be stuck with the lithurgy, or whatever is in the wedding solemnization catechism for your denomination. I wed in the Anglican church where my dad is a knight, still I managed to change around a few things, for instance I did not vow to obey, and one or two other lines. Luckily the Bishop read from our program rather than the Book of Common Prayer and did not notice. BTW, I'm still vexing that he skipped the "you may kiss the bride" part. Moving on...

I just read about Tuface and Annie Idibia's wedding vows and I was tripping.

TuFace Idibia
Many years ago I was farther than the eyes could see.
Now we are now in that future
When I look into your eyes, I still see
You came into my life and you lit it up
Like the sun, like the moon, like the stars
All the words in the dictionary
All the words in this world can not be enough
To say what my heart feels for you.
But all I can say is baby, my heart is like a stereo right now
And it will beat only for you till death do us part.
I love you baby.

Dear Myne - I am Tired of Praying For a Husband

I have been praying for so long...about 5 years now and it seems God chooses the people he wants to answer. I'm beginning to hate having to put up a smile when we have family meetings..(That's every sunday). Having to makeup and do the wedding secor for my younger friends...going to my friend's children's parties etc..is no longer funny. Not because I'm not happy for them, just like "God when will u answer me" kinda feeling. I really don't know what to pray about anymore. I'm tired in my spirit.

___

This came in from Olufunmi in comment to Prayer works in finding a Husband

Bill and Melinda Gates are Looking for a Better Condom

The Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation, that is. They have put out a call to geeks and inventors interested in sexual health and AIDS prevention to think up ideas to improve the current condom used by virtually everyone. The details have been posted on their Grand Challenges website as follows;

We are looking for a Next Generation Condom that significantly preserves or enhances pleasure, in order to improve uptake and regular use. Additional concepts that might increase uptake include attributes that increase ease-of-use for male and female condoms, for example better packaging or designs that are easier to properly apply. In addition, attributes that address and overcome cultural barriers are also desired.

Basically, the Gates Foundation is saying they see the point of those who do not like the condom for reducing their pleasure, so they are offering a $100,000 startup grant to the person who will design this "next generation condom". The start-up grant could lead to $1 million in further funding if your idea is found to have merit.

Now let me go on put on my thinking hat, sexual and public health education used to be my first love. Any other takers? LOL...