I have been praying for so long...about 5 years now and it seems God chooses the people he wants to answer. I'm beginning to hate having to put up a smile when we have family meetings..(That's every sunday). Having to makeup and do the wedding secor for my younger friends...going to my friend's children's parties etc..is no longer funny. Not because I'm not happy for them, just like "God when will u answer me" kinda feeling. I really don't know what to pray about anymore. I'm tired in my spirit.
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This came in from Olufunmi in comment to Prayer works in finding a Husband
My dear, take heart. The husband will come in God's good time. In the meantime try to find things to do that will fulfill you in other ways. Work on your career. Go back to school. Take up volunteering for a cause you love. Build up your close friendships with other women. I know it is not easy when your family is putting pressure on you and you desire it so much, but I speak from experience. I am 35 and have been praying for a husband my whole life, and have been having a very hard time recently with yet another heartbreak.
ReplyDeleteBut, I have learned in this time (never thinking I would be this age and not be married) that if you make marriage your whole cause for being, you will just end up depressed and exhausted. You never know what God has in store for you. I try to pray these days that he will lead me in the path that is best for me and, when and if the time is ever right, bring me a good, godly, loving husband. I wouldn't want to be so focused on getting married that I marry a man who is unkind or unfaithful--and end up even more miserable than I am as a single woman.
Wait on the Lord. I know, from experience, that's not what you want to hear. But, putting it in his hands and trusting his timing and his ability to lead you to fulfillment and happiness in the rest of my life is really the only way I have been able to find peace.
This is wonderful advice, Anonymous. Perfect, really. God bless you for being selfless and may He give you the desires of your heart speedily.
Deleteamen
DeleteJust like the advice from the anonymous person, relax, don't let your lack of husband dictate how you live your life, I know the kind of pressure you will be going through especially from your family, am speaking from experience too, i will be 35 this year, but i don't let my age and lack of husband get to me, husband is not even part of my prayer request, because I know God has already perfected that for me, am just waiting for it to manifest.
ReplyDeleteJust like she said I never thought i will get to this age without a husband, I have prayed, but not for a single day have I ever thought God is not answering my prayers, you see God is a faithful God, He does His things in ways we don't understand, Just like ( Isaiah 34:16) said " I have search the book of the Lord, none will lack its mate".
Dear, your husband will surely come, one thing I always tell myself is that, for the fact that I have waited this long, nothing, absolutely nothing will make me marry just because I have to get married. Your husband will come, just believe that God is working out a perfect plan for your future. Be strong don't get depressed, forget about any biology that says a woman have a limited time, God is the greatest physician,He created your body, so when He gives you a husband every other thing will go smoothly well without any delay. Just believe and persevere.
hmmmmmm...God still answers prayers....dont throw in d towel...u r dis close to ur mirackle ...Believe
ReplyDeletewww.justjobsng.com
I know how you feel Olufunmi...It could be the most difficult thing,only if you choose to look at it in one way,anyway.I started having suitors at age 16,started my first relationship at 21,planned to get married at 25 but had to wait faithfully,albeit endlessly for a long term relationship to end in marriage.It didn't happen until I bowed to pressure and advised myself to move on last year.I have just celebrated my third decade here on earth but still unmarried.Did I plan it this way?. No,I didn't.All my friends are married and don't keep in touch anymore.These were people who looked up to me for advise and all.
ReplyDeleteStill a virgin,loving the lord,daily harassed by almost everyone I know about marriage."Sister when is d date"? .
Thankfully,I still have suitors but believe me,Choosing is an uphill task.Just like u are imperfect,so many guys out there are too.
Another way to look at it is to ask yourself why you are here on earth.To marry and have children?Please,live a purposeful life,it is difficult especially if you are a very emotional person.Get involved in the work of the lord and keep praying and trusting him.
Read 1Cor :24-40.
1 Corinthians 7:24-40
ReplyDeleteYou will never get a good and decent husband if you are beginning to get tired of putting on makeup for brides and going to kids parties. No matter what you are faced with you must still maintain joy and goodness in your heart for others. You cannot hate what you want and expect to get it, it is impossible. Sometimes we do not get what we desire fast enough because we are envious and hateful of what others have. I am not saying this is your case specifically, but you may want to take spiritual accounting of yourself; moods, thoughts and emotions and see what the balance is.
ReplyDeleteYou may also want to take action too, as we all know prayers without action is useless. Go speak with your elders, friends, family member you trust and let them know you are in the market for a husband. For some reason human beings love to do matchmaking even if they are not good at it, so I can guarentee that someone will have the "perfect" person for you to meet. Go on dates and mix in the company of men so you have an idea what kind of man you are suited to.
The single period is also an extremely valuable period in life to a woman, so many women complain about not having a husband or boyfriend and if they used their single years to go deep into their spiritual life and get close to their God their lives would transform in exceptional ways. Once a husband and children come along the amount of time you will have to dedicate to God fully will go down drastically, so cherish these years that you will never have again, and use them to become the best woman that you can be.
You also must prepare for a husband if you expect to get one. That means, emotionally and spiritually you have to start developing the qualities in yourself that you feel a good wife should have, this will help you to attract to you a man who desires those same qualities in his wife. You should also have an idea of the qualities you would like your husband to have and meditate on those things so that you can attract a man with those qualities. The most importantly element in all of this is to have faith that your prayers have already been answered.
Beautiful advice. I especially like that you appreciate single life and all the benefits it can bring, the most important being a stronger relationship with God.
DeleteI would also like to add something. I know it can be difficult, but try not to compare yourselves to others. It is not fair to you. It also doesn't help your empathy for other people. We all do it from time to time, but don't make a habit of it.
I truly believe that God will love us for having empathy and joy for others who have what we wish we had.
If you have no happiness, peace and contentment in your life without a husband now, you will be no happier with one. A marriage is sharing of lives. What have you got to share? Be careful that you don't look to a husband - who is only human afterall - to be your ultimate source, because you will be sorely disappointed. So while you wait, be sure you can find these in your life.
ReplyDeletei know its hard, especially in our culture where everyone takes it upon themselves to ask you why you are not married and suggest something must be wrong with you. In Nigerian churches, there is no respect for a spinster that is over 27. So you have ladies rushing into marriage and enduring all sorts there. Don't be fooled by all those facebook romances you see, the things people face ehn. That notwithstanding, there are so many people with wonderful marriages as well and that's what you should aspire for.
ReplyDeleteBe happy for yourself and not for anyone. Having a husband does not make you any less lonely. You will need to fashion out your own existence. Sit down and write down what would make you happy in life. If you have to avoid such weekly gatherings, do so. Is there anything else you would rather be doing at that time?
If you live abroad, look for friends with similar interests. I find that there are lots of older singles from non-african communities that are not so hung up about marriage the way we are. They enjoy life and occupy themselves with things that give them peace and widen their horizons. Perhaps you need to step out of your comfort zone.
Lastly, the Lord always gives but it's the devil that tries to steal our joy. Never give up on God. Ask him to disgrace the devil for you.
At 42 going on 43, i have felt tired many times. One thing God has helped me with i dont know how He did it, i feeel good about myself. I have prayed that God will give me the right attitude to respond to people and to situations especially when people pass comments that remind you that you are single. I enjoy myself when i hang out with my friends children, when the opportunity is there i am part of their lives with advice and watching the children. I see life as a gift and since i dont know when its going to end for me, i want to enjoy myself as much as possible with children around me etc. My 2 sisters have been married long ago. But God is faithful and is not a debtor to man. I dont compare myself with anyone, cos i was born alone. Jer 29:11 says I know the plans i have towards you, plans of good and not evil to prosper you and give you hope. I believe God. When the weddings comes i give my full support and do what i am expected and i dance my heart out. If you rejoice with others, your time will surely come. The most important thing however is, have a right attitude and BELIEVE God that His word is true and it will come to pass in your life. Enjoy yourself and have fun. I sense my blessing of a partner is at door, and i thank God.
ReplyDeleteIn Jesus name, this year God will give you a companion to call yours.
DeleteKeep praying..His time is the best...it will come when u least expect and may not be in the package you think you want but God knows whats best. Im not just talking. I know for a fact!! Be steadfast
ReplyDeleteOk. I am a Nigerian male who needs a wife. Is any nice single lady here ready to husband me up? I live in Florida.I came here with green card. I am 5 feet and some inches tall. I am presently working as a laundry assistant and I make enough money to live in an apartment and study for some exams i need to do to be able to do what i want to do here in USA. I have my own car, though its a jalopy. If you are interested or need more information, you can reach me through scatterpot@yahoo.com.
ReplyDeleteAlso I am in my early thirties. Please note, this is no joke as I am really serious. I don't want a Facebook or tweeter lady o. Thanks.
he he he he
ReplyDeleteThis last comment is funny but would be interesting if he is really genuine.
Believe me, I have found great friendships on facebook- one of which is one with Myne!
God dey.
Cheer up dear. There is light at the end of the tunnel. All the best.
I'm waiting too. 32 this year and a better person everyday!
Sometimes the reason we have not seen someone is because we don't know what we want . marriage or companionship
ReplyDeletethe husband will come, first are u ready emotionally, financially , have u been healed from past hurts ,disappointments, and finally if I may say so how do u treat those who come ,do u turn them away because of the way they look or what they have. the husband is not only in looks. he might have come but the way u behaved. let the Holy Spirit lead u and not friends and family.
ReplyDeleteSame things happened to me for past two month nw i dnt known what to pray about ,i'm 32 now i have been praying,fasting,i mean marathon fasting,but i'm confused cos i can't pray anymore, only me in the house no companion no friends i'm just tired do thinking evryday
ReplyDeletewhy do we have to wait such a long time when God says 'those who trust in him shall never be put to shame'. I am embarrassed that I am the only Christian in my family, all the others have resorted to having children out of wedlock and that seems to be a norm in the family. Now I am sure that all eyes are on me, they are all waiting to see how I will get out of this one because to them its like 'I think I am better'.
ReplyDelete