Jada Pinkett-Smith Defines Open Relationship For Her Marriage

Jada Pinket Smith and Will Smith have not hidden the fact that their marriage is an open one, even if in the past we were not sure what that meant for them. In a recent interview she clarified that it means "respecting that you're in a partnership, but knowing that you're an individual as well."

I am fine with that kind of an open relationship, and even polygamy as I said here. I am not an advocate, nor will I promote it, but I think the relationship with one's husband is something each woman has to make a personal decision about and not be influenced unnecessarily by those who aren't living it with them.

For me, open relationships are those in which you tell me when you begin to fall for someone else, and we can decide what to do about it. Will I give permission, probably not. 

Some may say this opens the door to cheating, but I think it promotes honesty and communication first of all, and who says there's no cheating in relationships where the parties are all jealous and possessive?

I think that cheating cuts across both genders. However, in a relationship with friendship and mutual respect, I think it is easier to make cheating a non-issue.

Would You Wear A Black Wedding Dress?

"There has been a growing interest in black wedding dresses," Tova Marc, a wedding gown designer who specializes in non-traditional colors, tells Shine. "They are tired of the same old white and ivory." Marc also says Lady Gaga's edgy look has had an impact on brides-to-be. Who knew Lady Gaga's fans would translate that into their weddings?

Supposedly, this trend in black gowns started with Vera Wang's runway show in 2011 which paraded 15 black-ish wedding dresses. But, black isn't for everyone, certainly not for me though the designs of some of these dresses below are very lovely. Check out other non traditional brides, here, and Ufuoma Ejenebor's Gray and White gown, here.

Throwback Thursday - Jambite

Another picture from way back when, this was 97 after the October rush of my first year in the university. I really loved this blouse, which was thrifted from my mum's 70's closet by the way, and would wear it all the time. And how adventurous I felt then, using colored extensions, this was the very first time, and I'll always remember this picture for that, lol...

Public Proposals - Yemi Sax Asks Girlfriend for Forever Joy

Towing the line of a public proposal, a Nigerian Saxophonist, Yemi Sax, proposed to his girlfriend, Shola, yesterday at an ice cream place in Lagos. Linda Ikeji was able to get a copy of what he actually said to her, corny but sweet :)

Adeshola Sholatayo Durojaiye...
The first day I met you Shola, my heart beats, and something said to me, this is the mother of your children and the woman specially made for you from heaven. This has never happened to me ever since I've grown up to be a man. I've met so many ladies but you are a rear germ and can't be compared to any of them.

Today i look in to your eyes to tell u this
0. U are the true definition of love
1. U are the true definition of a good woman,
2.U've brought nothing but hapiness to my life
3.Your love to me is more than anything in dis world
4. You are the apple of my eyes
5. I love u so very much shola
6.I cherish u very much shola

Impending Nuclear War Between United States and North Korea?

Is it time for us to become scared? Over the past few days, the rhetoric has been escalating on the relations between North and South Korea, and the role of the United States if it ever came to a war between both countries. Today, both North Korea and America took it a step further. North Korea said it had "ratified" a merciless attack against the United States, potentially involving a "diversified nuclear strike".

"We formally inform the White House and Pentagon that the ever-escalating U.S. hostile policy toward the DPRK (North Korea) and its reckless nuclear threat will be smashed by the strong will of all the united service personnel and people and cutting-edge smaller, lighter and diversified nuclear strike means of the DPRK and that the merciless operation of its revolutionary armed forces in this regard has been finally examined and ratified," a spokesman for the General Staff of the Korean People's Army said in a statement carried by the English language service of the state news agency KCNA. (Reuters)

Meanwhile, CNN reports that the U.S. military is sending a land-based missile defense system to Guam to defend against possible North Korean ballistic missile launches, according to a news release from the Department of Defense. The statement said the missiles, a truck-mounted launcher, and radar and target acquisition systems will be deployed in the coming weeks.

In a discussion with someone on Facebook some days ago, I actually called it Initial Gra Gra (IGG) on the part of North Korea, and I felt America was being too aggressive in their responses. With these latest events, I'm not so sure. For those who live in the US or in South East Asia, how concerned are you?

Beyonce on Loving Your Man and Being A Feminist?

Beyonce came into the spotlight as a member of girl power pop group, Destiny's Child, with several female empowerment anthems, including Independent woman and survivor. In the past couple of years she has also released Who Run the World, Girls! and If I were a Boy. However, when it comes to being labelled a feminist, Beyonce replies;

That word can be very extreme… But I guess I am a modern-day feminist. I do believe in equality. Why do you have to choose what type of woman you are? Why do you have to label yourself anything? I’m just a woman and I love being a woman. I do believe in equality and that we have a way to go and it’s something that’s pushed aside and something that we have been conditioned to accept. But I’m happily married. I love my husband.

Personally, I also feel a twinge for Atala when I go off on my feminism rants, especially on DV and Rape, but at the end of the day, I know he shares most of my feelings on inequality, though his may go beyond how it affects just women. Another point I wonder is if Feminism needs to be redefined? What do you think? Should there be a conflict between loving a man and standing for equality for women?

What Does God Fearing Mean to You?

I often wonder about this term when people mention it as part of what they're looking for in their potential spouses. I can understand wanting a Christian, or someone who shares your faith, denomination, or even the church you already attend. Those, I think, are easier to recognize. The same as saying you want someone with good moral values, or the same values as you.

But seriously, God fearing has me lost for practical steps to advice someone on what to look out for. So this is me asking for pointers, not trying to say this is a good thing or a bad thing to have in one's requirements for a partner. On general terms, I actually think it's a good thing if this means the person has a strong ethical and moral core. But if it means the person spends 100% of their free time in church, that may not be so cheering if I intend to share a relationship with them outside of the church.

What does God fearing mean to you, and how will you recognise it when you see it, or if you already are in a relationship where you found a God fearing man, can you please share how this quality can be translatable in real life?

Dear Myne - My Dad is not helpful to my Mother?

I'm 23. Finished NYSC last month. I'm not working yet. My sisters and I are hardly at home, because of school. My parents are by themselves much of the time. Mum's 53, Dad is 60. They can't do everything by themselves; each time any of returns, there's a backlog of chores to do.

My parents have been married over 23 years. I'd call it a typical Nigerian/African marriage; never saw them do anything romantic. My parents belong to the old order; Dad does not touch housework. Dad and mum are lecturers, yet my mum doubles as housewife.

We discussed the matter, mum and I, at length. I encouraged her to talk to my father. She did. He helped her heft water buckets into the house, fill the water filter for one week and that was all! When he saw that water-fetching was hardwork, he made arrangements to have water run in the house. There hasn't been any improvement since then months ago.

Omawumi on Being A Single Parent and Dating

Omawumi was on Rubbin Minds with Ebuka Obi Uchendu recently promoting her new album. The part I loved best was where she talked about backing her baby and hawking stuff if need be, and then how she held Ebuka at bay on the status of her dating life, or whether she was in a relationship. She comes across as very refreshingly down to earth.

My Oga at the Top - Mr Obafaiye Shem Has Been Replaced

The man behind the Oga at the top meme, Mr. Obafaiye Shem, has been removed from his office as the commandant of the Lagos state branch of the Nigerian Security and Civil Defense Corps. He was replaced by Mr. Adesuyi Clement from Oyo State Command.

The Commandant General of NSCDC, the Oga at the top that Shem was referring to, Dr. Olu Abolurin, introduced the new Commandant to journalists as he addressed the alleged killing of two of his officers by some policemen in Lagos over the Easter weekend. He did not give reasons for Mr Shem’s removal.

All I can say is that, at least the guy was not suspended or sacked.