Dear Myne - I don't Know the Man I Married

Dear Myne, This is the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I'm by nature a very private person especially when it comes to my relationship with my husband. But due to recent events and my ensuing confusion, I've decided to seek advice anonymously. I'm pouring it all out so please forgive the epistle.

I dated my husband for 5 years and got married less than 2 years ago. For about half the time we dated, we were in different states/countries, but the relationship endured. I have always had very intense feelings for my husband and I believed it was the same vice versa. He is very caring and concerned about my well-being. As far as I knew, we don't joke with our love for each other.

As at the time I started dating him, I knew he had a past with the ladies and had acquired a reputation as a womaniser but he somehow convinced me that the phase had passed. According to him, he had gotten the urges out of his system. I believed him. I was a virgin when we met and remained so till some months to our wedding.

I have always had a phobia for being in an unfaithful relationship due to past experiences with ex-boyfriends. Through our five year courtship, there were two incidents when I was sure he was cheating on me. On both occasions, he spun me such believable tales and I also somehow believed my paranoia was at work.

Curiosity on Mars Draws Naughty Pictures

Caption This

NASA recently published pictures from Curiosity's track patterns, and the Mars rover appears to have traced out a very penis-like design on the dusty surface of the alien planet, complete with balls, lol...

According to HuffPo, the "car-sized rover landed on Mars last August with a mandate to explore the planet and analyze whether or not Mars could have supported life forms. Curiosity is controlled by a team of NASA engineers, who send two sets of instructions to the exploratory craft each day."

If you ask me, I don't think Curiosity made that pattern by mistake, my guess is those engineers are being very naughty :)

So who can best caption the picture?

Charles Novia Reviews The African Movie Academy Awards

"Charles, you know you have to write a review about this year’s AMAA or you will be seen as biased, not after you have reviewed the AMVCA" a prominent Film Maker said to me as we arrived Yenogoa by road.

I had already made up my mind weeks before to do such, even if I was in a somewhat precarious position; my movie ‘Alan Poza’ was nominated in two categories . If we didn’t win anything ( and eventually we didn’t) some might misconstrue my review as ‘sour grapes’ rather than the honest and unbiased opinion I have chosen to write.

‘Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn’, says Clark Gable in the movie ‘Gone with the Wind’ and I align with his phrase.

With all sense of propriety, I will not in anyway compare the two awards. That is left for the viewers and readers to do but I will only make appropriate objective commentaries as witnessed by me.

The show started with a group of dancers who gave a good account of themselves in their choreography of the AMAA theme song. The dancers captured the essence of Africa in their dance and the theme song itself had a pulsating multi-African feel to the mix. This was followed by a brief reel of late Nollywood actors who passed on in the last year.

Is This Love? Olivia Pope and Fitz

Shonda Rhimes and her team of writers will not kill me over Olivia Pope and her love affair with the president. This their love nwantiti, I just can't! Hear it from the lovebirds themselves...

OLIVIA: I don't want to talk to you. I'm never gonna be ready to talk to you, so why don't you just --
FITZ: I love you.
OLIVIA: - stop saying that. You're having me followed, watched. There are cameras in my apartment. That's not love.
FITZ: You have to understand. Defiance changed everything for me. Everything...You don't fix me! You don't handle me! THAT is not love, that's control. I asked you to be a team. We should've been a team. It should've been me and you, but instead it was you and Verna and Cyrus and Hollis and Mellie. I am angry that you fixed the election, but I am even angrier that you thought you were fixing me.
OLIVIA: You're angry ... then why are you here?
FITZ: I'm here because I love you.

Why I Watch Law and Order: SVU

One of my favorite shows on TV is Law and Order SVU, and the biggest reason I respect them is the way they blend education, information and entertainment. Their last episode was titled Girl Dishonered and it shone the spotlight on rape in college campuses around the United States. As much as the episode was scripted, it was also real. No other show is able to do that.

Jezebel had a compilation of the plot points in last night's SVU episode and the corresponding real life events on which they were based.

SVU: Lindsay is gang-raped by three frat guys who later claim she's crying rape because she's embarrassed about her slutty behavior.

Real Life: Four University of Montana football players allegedly gang-raped a drunk female student; charges were dropped because it was unclear whether she was "just embarrassed" about what happened.

SVU: Lindsay Snapchats her rapist the next day, leading students and administrative officials to doubt that she was actually raped.

Real Life: Woman allegedly raped by Mizzou basketball player Michael Dixon Jr. texts him the next day, leading students, officials and cops to doubt that she was actually raped.

Kate Middleton in Blue - Is it a Boy?

Just joking. She looks good though. I know I shouldn't, but I can't help comparing her with Kim Kardashian who looks much bigger. See more pictures below :)

Adventures of a Miss!! Episode 10

Bolaji: “Please promise me you’ll listen before fighting me, Toke, please.” He looks sincere but this is not the time to be deceived because of looks. I want to hear what he has to say and I just hope he’s not getting ready to tell me a load of bull crap.

Me: “Bolaji I said I am listening” I emphasized the listening so he knows all I want to proceed from his mouth is an explanation for why he was kissing Zainab. “I promise I won’t fight you, I’ll only listen but you better be ready to answer any subsequent questions I may have”. I walk over the bar stools that lead into the kitchen and take a seat.

Bolaji: “Ok, Zainab and I met 8 years ago in London; it was during my final year in Uni. We met at a club you know, her friend was dating a good friend of mine at the time and it was his birthday. I bought her a couple of drinks and the short story is that we had sex that night and it continued for about 6 months until I moved back to Nigeria after graduation.

We weren’t dating, as a matter of fact I think she had someone she was talking to at the time, but with us it was strictly for the physical. I had no intention of dating her; as a matter of fact I had no intention of being with anyone at the time. Fast forward to 3 years ago when Muhammad found me on Facebook, we met up chatted about life and then he showed me a picture of his new bride of barely a month and it turns out to be Zainab. I didn’t tell him immediately that Zainab and I had a fling in the past because I didn’t want to destroy their home and I was not sure what stories Zainab might have told him.

No Condoms, No Sex

One of the decisions any one who is sexually active has to make is what to use for protection against STIs and pregnancy. Condom is usually the simplest choice, though sometimes a few people allow either embarassment or shame prevent them from stocking up. The women think it's for the men to sort out, after all, they want sex more and will be the ones to use the condom. The men leave it for the women to take care of, after all they're the ones who'll get pregnant, right? At the end no one has a condom and it is time to do the do, what happens then?

Damiel Ademinokan has produced this wonderful short film titled No Jersey, No Match on this issue. One thing I appreciate is when a thematic movie uses very creative story telling to pass its message rather than have someone talking like they're on a pulpit. In that sense, this movie is one of the best didactic short films I've seen, perfectly scored, good acting, good writing, all the good stuff. Enjoy, and if you're sexually active, always have your condoms on stand-by :)

Throw Back Thurday - Bringing the Sexy

This was about 5 years ago. I was already living in the UK and traveled to Nigeria for vacation. Like someone said in the last tbt post, my youngest sister who had just entered university then said, Myne, you're always very serious and formal. I know you're older than me, bla...bla...bla... but come let me show you how to let your hair down."

I already had the dress, which I often wore as a top to tights or jeans, the shoes, accessory and the hair. But she provided the makeup and put it all together. At the photographer's studio, she provided moral support as the guy reeled out model instructions - "head to the side, strut it, flaunt it, head up, hands bent, etc."

I love you sis, and I can honestly say, this was the picture that got Atala across seven oceans and seas to come get me. #trueword. Since then, I know it's quite important to sometimes not be so grown up and serious. You can also either be young and carefree, or you can bring the sexy!

Confused Girl… Are You Ready For Marriage?

This is a response to Confused Girl's mail to Myne.

Are you ready for marriage?

Okay, brace yourself… NOPE! You not ready!!! Oh by the way, there is nothing wrong with that, marriage is an enormous step to take in life, so make sure you don’t feel bad at all!  And it appears it is a combined case of the normal pre-marriage hesitations, as well as you having two additional complications, your bisexuality AND his plans to move back to Nigeria so soon.

Some sweet but tough love.

Okay now you know when people typically say: He is my perfect companion, or She is my soul mate  or we were made for each other…Not true at all. Are you old enough to know the Whispers classic song: And the beat goes on? As the Chorus goes: “…just like fishes in the ocean, they'll  always be someone new…”

So if the relationship ends, eventually, you BOTH will and should certainly be able to move on to equally happy, rewarding and fulfilling relationships with somebody else. Why? Well I do not believe in the concept of a perfect match, meaning only ONE person out there that was meant for you. I do however believe in the perfect TYPE of person or group of people out there that would be the most ideal for you. Hence if you miss one person who appears to be the ideal match, there is most certainly another out there within your ideal group that will meet and possibly even beat what you feel is only available to you in your current fiancé. I have personally experienced this. And I am willing to bet there are others out there who did not marry that “ideal” one person, but today are in a great marriage with somebody else.