In the picture of Zoe Saldana with her new boyfriend [see here] he is carrying her handbag and that got me thinking. One often hears stories of men who say they would rather die than carry their wife's or girlfriend's handbag. Then there are those who don't really mind or wouldn't but fear being teased or thought to be less of a man if they did that.
A friend spoke of how after her husband helped her carry her handbag - she was carrying their baby and had to answer a phone call so handed hubby her coach tote - her own father who had also been there warned them seriously. She had to respectfully disagree with her dad, and her hubby spoke up too. The father was worried about gender roles, appearances of respect and what people would say. The couple on their part tried to emphasize that what mattered was their relationship and whether they understood each other. He was just helping.
Now, I don't want to make it seem like carrying a woman's handbag is like the ultimate of all symbols of love. The gesture, on its own, is not a definition or confirmation of love, but can be a way to show you care for your partner, PDA if you will.
The funny thing for me, or maybe not so funny, is the way some men look at female handbags like there was a contaminable disease they could get by carrying one.
Naija and their issues sha, look at the example you gave, he carried her bag cos she was carrying a baby ad had to answer the phone! that's very practical and straight forward now, i have never asked my hubby to carry my bag just because i want him to, i mean, its MY bag...but when occasion warrants it, he does and we don't even discuss it, it's just natural, he is helping me out!...African men too dey worry abeg!
ReplyDeleteI think it has to do with complex. There's no biggie in a man carrying his wife/gurlfriend's bag
DeleteThey do, both old and young it seems, LOL...
DeleteNo big deal in it
ReplyDeleteThanks Trendy.
DeleteSuch things are so silly and childish to me. Its a bag. Its not like anyone is asking you to sling it over your shoulder and Sashay Shante down a runway with it. Just hold it for a minute!
ReplyDeleteSame goes for buying your lady's feminine hygiene products. Its really not that big of a deal. Nothing is going to happen to you...unless you come outta the store with the wrong thing lol
Sashay Sante, that got me laughing. Abi o?
DeleteI dont think its a huge deal but most men make a huge deal of it. Holding it for a minute isnt a bad thing....but I dont even want to imagine a mental picture my man walking a few meters with m handbag. Now will be odd to me.
ReplyDeleteMy boyfriend always carries my bag or anyother luggage I have on me when we go out together. Sometimes I feel shy and think of what passersby would say. When I try to collect the bag from him, he refuses saying that he isn't ashamed and that doesn't make him less of the man that he is.He doesn't even care of what people say about it.
ReplyDeleteMy fiance carries my handbag whenever we go out and even @ the airport,though people always look at us bt it doesn't have any problems with it and morever I don't force nor beg him to do it.he just enjoys doing it.
ReplyDeletenneky
My husband to be ever since i can remember always carry's my bag when we are out together no big deal. I dont even notice he does it anymore until i read this post haha. When he first did it i said why he said he always helps carry's his mums bag for her when they go out together and she has told him not to do it but he still does it for her and now for me. I dont even notice people watching am too busy facing my man wetting concern agbero with overload. He loves it he says baby i'm looking after my woman i dont care wot pple say hehe gosh i love that man lol
ReplyDeleteI carry a lot... From my mum, sis to babe.
ReplyDeleteHi there just wanted to give you a quick heads up and let you know a few of
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My blog; Charlotte
no big deal in a guy carryin his gurlfrnd/wifes handbag. Nigerians shud stop dis naive mentality of deirs
ReplyDeleteI can carry and attempt to carry everything but purse only. When my wife asks me to carry her purse I count every single second and pray to her ask it back :)) Nope it's just disturbing fact. If you don't wanna carry your purse then leave it at home!
ReplyDeleteMy Husband carries my bag for me whenever i'm holding our child, pushing the pushchair or have other items i may be carrying. Someone stated above that it is a form of taking care of your woman. And that is exactly what it is. How would it look to have your girlfriend/ fiance/ or wife struggling with shopping and her handbag? or struggling to carry baby in arms (sometimes even managing three children when out and about) and carrying a heavy purse. or even struggling to push a pushchair hold baby and reach into her handbag to pay for items. How would the man she was with look. To allow his woman to stuggle with the all the loads by herself? What is a boyfriend/ fiance or husband for, if not to split the load? In all areas of life together. It shows a very one track way of thinking. Helping your woman exhibits love, affection, concern and above all compassion and care. And it is really as simple as that. If a man finds ill favour with helping a woman to carry her bag at times when she is not able to do so herself, or it is putting starin on her. Then that same man sould not expect her to continously slave to cook for him, when he does not have the time to or may have forgotten to eat. Wash or iron his clothes, when he is in a rush for work in the mornings or evenings and is preocupied with other tasks. It is give and take and the load in life should be split.
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