Many couples will testify that good communication is the key to their successful marriages, but sometimes, it doesn't start that way. Both spouses usually undergo a time of learning each other and becoming grown in themselves and in their respect of the other person.
@AndyMadaki shared the image above on his IG page yesterday and Adaeze Yobo reposted it with a brief lesson from the beginning of her 4-year marriage. She wrote;
This reminded me so much of the first 2years of my marriage (when i had too much ego, it was all about me and what "I deserve") I will always randomly have in mind that my husband shld know "we gotta go out" i wld seat my ass down all the time and just get mad, I mean doesn't he know? I won't even tell him nonsense!
It wasn't that i desperately wanted to go out cos most of the time we did we had nothing to say to each other but my "i deserve mentality" my after all, i'm the woman" "the queen" mentality, was my motivating factor.
Just texting or calling my hubby to say "hey babe, there is this restaurant that makes the best prawns (his favemoji) let's casually go after yur training. Was what I shld hav said but here is what I actually said for 2 years, "Joe (which is what I call him wen am mad) everybody went to that restaurant on that street and even last night this persons husband took her".
Then he goes from 0-100 in like 2.2 secs and then my ego kicks in. (You don't want to know how fast I also went kuku) and no one ends up eatingemoji I always said to the pple that i complain to, "How dare he? just cos I want us to go out and have a nice dinner, dont i Deserve it eh"?
Anyway, the moral of this (long) story, is that when I changed from my "i deserve" mentality to "we deserve" slowly, the tables turned. Now he makes our date plan calender for a month! i lost out on seeing that soft amazing person he is for the first 2years cos I was always ready to fire, after all he Shld have read the manual before marriage.
Below are links to some RML discussions and posts on communication in Marriage and relationships
Communication is not Mind Reading - Atala Writes
Communication - The Key To a Successful Relationship
Vital Elements of Communication To Make Your Relationship Stronger
Unyime Ivy King - Communication is The Livewire of A Relationship
When Should A Couple Talk About Their Relationship Issues?
What Comes After Saying I am Sorry
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