Tuesday Talk - Does competition extend to Friends?

"I better pass my neighbour" is a phrase people in Nigeria use to refer to mobile generators as a way of saying, "I can afford it while my neighbours can't". In other words, they're happy they've kept up and even overtaken the Jones or the Okekes. I know we all have competitive streaks in that sense, but does it extend to friends? Do we deliberately keep friends that we're better than? In our talk and debate, I want us to consider the following questions.

1. Are all your friends married while you're single? Are you the only married one?
2. Are they more intelligent, for instance have more degrees? Or is that you?
3. Are they all slimmer than you? Are you the only Lepa?
4. Are they all more accomplished in their business or career? Or are you?
5. Are they all more well to do? Or are you the generous donor?
6. Are they all more popular than you? Are you the prettiest, tallest, most bubbling?

I know we cannot dictate our friendships and that it's a two-way thing, so while you're trying to make a friend, the other person may be pulling away. But it would be good if our circle of friends are mixed up because unbalanced friendships can sometimes become unhealthy - Frenemies, anyone? So if you're good in this, your friend is good in the other thing, and you both accept your strengths and weaknesses and try to minimize competition. As for me, I am a work in progress. :)

Guest Author - Philip U. Effiong (Monty)

My guest today is Philip U. Effiong whose father of the same name was the second in command on the Biafran side during the Nigerian Civil War. After teaching in the university for over ten years, this Philip worked as an Oracle Programmer and then as a full-time writer and editorial consultant from late 1998 to 2006. He is still writing but also started teaching at the University of Maryland in the fall of 2006. His areas of specialty are literature, writing, drama, and cultural studies. Ater spending almost five years in Nigeria (January 2001-December 2005) his family relocated to and currently resides in Fairfax, Virginia, USA. I read one of Philip's books titled Monty and will be posting a review soon. Enjoy our interview, and welcome to the beginning of a great week.

What inspired you to want to become a writer?

I enjoyed the folktales my mother told me when I was a child. Later, I was further exposed to the narrative tradition as a student of English and literature at Nigeria’s University of Calabar. Captivated by the power of images and creative storytelling, whether fact or fiction, I was soon motivated to start writing my own stories and analytical essays.


Why did you write Monty, was it in any way autobiographical?

Monty is largely informed by my recollections of refugee camp situations during the Nigeria-Biafra war. However, the goal is not to present a war or refugee camp story, but to demonstrate that the impact of war continues even after the guns stop blazing. Sections of the text are definitely a recreation of personal experiences.


The character of Monty is an intriguing one, where did the idea come from?

Even though Monty is a byproduct of refugee camp situations (as already stated), the character is designed to function as a universal delineation of what it must feel like to be an outsider (which can be engendered by origins, physical appearance, belief systems or mental attributes). This is in addition to portraying how the horrors of war can continue to manifest in various ways even after the ceasefire takes place. The name of the character suggests his rescue on a Monday.

Picture Weekend - On the trails of the Grand Canyon

Hope everyone is having a nice weekend? Thanks for all the comments on my 400th post, answers to the questions will be up next week. Today, I'm going to break my rule of adding commentary to pictures today, after all, rules are meant to be broken, right? Like when you clearly see the Danger Sign and decide to go one step beyond it and then dangle off the edge of a cliff. Yeah, that's me. Please do not try this at home, LOL...

Have You Got a Heart to Mend + 400 Posts!

What has the title got to do with this picture? Well because Mania Magazine is featuring A Heart to Mend in it summer TRAVEL issue. So do pick up the magazine, and if you wish, go on down to your nearest Bookshop, online or in stores, and get yourself both a copy of A Heart to Mend and A Love Rekindled.

Oh yes, and Agbani Darego, the cover model, and former Miss World, will hold a special autograph session on the 17th of July, 2011 from 3-6pm at the Silverbird Lifestyle Bookstore, Victoria Island, Lagos.

Also, this is my 400th post, and I want to dedicate it to everyone reading. Most of my blogs are excerpts from my WIP, but I've also shared about myself, my life and what makes me who I am. If you still have any questions about me, or for me, please leave them in the comments and my next post will provide answers. I don't promise to answer everything or everyone, but I'll do my best. :)

PS: A random commenter on this post will get their choice of AHTM or ALR paperback. But only if they live in the US, UK or Lagos, Nigeria

When did you find out about sex?

I almost said procreation in the title, but hey, we're all adults. Not that you'll know that going by the couple in this viral article that Atala brought to my attention a few days ago.

Chinese married couple clueless about sex - Yahoo! News

A highly educated couple, in their 30s from Hubei, China, thought that the wife would get pregnant by sleeping on the same bed, Malaysia's largest selling Chinese language newspaper Sin Chew Daily reported.
Prior to their marriage, the couple did not dare hold hands and kiss as they thought the woman would get pregnant by doing so, reported a China newspaper Chu Tian Jin Bao.
However, the couple decided to seek medical advice after the wife, who holds a masters degree, could not conceive.
They have been married for three years.
The doctor was shocked to learn about their "sex life".
The husband, who has a doctoral degree, said they were too focused on their studies.

Is this possible?

Laugh wan kill me die when I heard the news, and I didn't believe it until Atala showed me the links so I could see for myself. I went down memory lane about watching this Bollywood film (Jamina?) that fed into the myth then because the young actress thought she could get pregnant by kissing. You know how some of our mums, or aunts, or basically most adults would warn growing girls about talking to boys, walking with them, holding their hands, allowing them to touch you, and so on, and the bogeyman was always pregnancy.

I think by the time I got into secondary school and started devouring the novels in the library, and then was taught "the almighty reproduction" by around 14 or 15, I basically knew the nitty-gritty, if not the techniques, physics and chemistry of the whole thing. So you now know why I was laughing so much at this news. Still sha, I've had friends who were not as fast or curious as I was and did not get the memo till around 18, 19 or 20. But in your 30's, with a masters and PhD under your belts, and having lived as man and wife in the same house for three years? Atala said maybe they were asexual, ehm, it wasn't me. LOL...

Some choice thoughts from the Yahoo readers, share yours below in the comments.

"Question is; how did they get degrees while being so dumb?"

"So hard to believe. Internet was introduced to the world in 1994, 17 years ago. Even a Primary 1 child in Singapore know how to google "sex" & watch how to do it on their PC. Duh!!!"

MWP - The Cat-eyed English Witch By Abubakar Adam Ibrahim

Today on Myne Whitman Presents, I will share a short story by a writer who I admire a lot. Abubakar Adam Ibrahim has been published in various journals and anthologies, including Africanwriting.com and Sentinel Literary Quarterly. He has a degree in Mass Communication from the University of Jos, Nigeria, has written for Vanguard newspaper, and is now the Arts and Culture Editor of the Sunday Trust. His entry, “The Bull Man’s Story” won the 2007 BBC African Performance Playwriting Competition, and he has a book too, The Quest for Nina.

The story he was kind enough to submit to us is below. I hope you enjoy...

*********


The tiny corpse lay in a multicoloured bundle, cradled in the mother’s arm. She held out the bundle to me, showing me the innocent face that could have been sleeping but was now very dead. The mother’s brown eyes gleamed, not with grief but with a fiery hostility.

“You killed him, you wicked witch,” she hissed angrily.

The words stung me, like a vicious blow, like the heat had struck me when we first landed in Abuja. It was not particularly strange that she called me a witch; they all did anyway. They found my blonde hair attractive but my grey eyes unsettling. I don’t think they have seen many white women here. They call me The Cat- eyed English Witch and then I’d thought it was kind of…I don’t know, amusing perhaps. But with Manasa standing in front of me, a dead child in her hand; a child I‘d adored, and accusing me of having killed him, it was…shocking, to say the least. Tears fogged my eyes.

It had begun in London one fine Saturday morning in Trafalgar square, six years ago, when I first met Bawa. I was sitting by a fountain, watching the pigeons strolling, pecking at the bread crumbs, pairing up and cooing, doing what pigeons do on a fine summer day. Behind me, I could hear the fountain, sighing sweetly like a lover’s voice. Then the pigeons fluttered their wings noisily, cooing wildly and scattered into the air from a threat I hadn’t noticed. Their soft under feathers seesawed gently down to the ground and then, there he was, standing.

Picture Weekend - Book Reading at the Redmond Library

So I was booked to do a book reading and discussion at one of the Libraries in our area. They recently stocked both of my books, A Love Rekindled and A Heart to Mend and were impressed by the interest in them from the members. Anyway, it was a lovely outing and even though only five people in all turned out, I had fun discussing with them in a more intimate and personal way. I even made a new fan/friend, lol...

Frequently Asked Questions - Learning to write from online courses

Hello Myne,

I'm a fan of your blog and your writing. Lately, I realise I have many ideas that I'd like to write down but can't seem to be articulate. I remember a previous post in which you mentioned that you took free writing lessons. Could you please recommend any online programme?

Many thanks,

_________________

Hello

This is a link I bookmarked two years ago and which I refer to on a regular basis.

Diplomaguide.com

When I started out then, I found the Creative Writing Suite 101 course very useful, as well as the Write what you know from the Open University UK.

I have moved on since then to the editing parts, but you can pick and choose as they suite you.

Hope it helps,

Myne

Baz Luhrmann - Everybody´s Free ( to wear sunscreen)

So I saw this over on Mizchif's An Idle Mind, and couldn't believe I was just seeing and hearing it for the first time. There is so much wisdom packed in those 7 mins than you'll believe. Like I keep saying, Free Yourself! and Life is for Living, enjoy it!

If you can't watch the video, make sure to read the words transcribed by Mizchif below it.Thanks for visiting.

Face to face with Simon Cowell - X-Factor Auditions Seattle

So I've been a fan of the X-factor reality show since I lived in the UK and I missed it when I moved here, the American Idol couldn't compare, especially without Simon Cowell. You see, I had developed this love-hate relationship with him, or his personality as a judge. He got my admiration for being very creative and hard working, and I liked his wit and that he could be quite honest. I won't really call the other part hate, lol...I just wished I had his caustic tongue in certain situations (like when I get all those FB messages from bone headed men), and of course so much money can't be bad for you, hehehe...