Can the Domestic Nigerian Men Please Stand up?

Soon after A Heart to Mend came out, I blogged about a reader who felt Edward was too emotional, and how that made the book seen western, or Edward not Nigerian enough. In his opinion, real Nigerian men are not romantic nor do they show their emotions. I know this is a mindset many other people share, and I have heard it from both male and female readers of my novels.

Another generalization that is often made about the real or 'typical Nigerian man' is that he is not domestic. It is consistently shown and believed to be true beyond questioning that our country men do not, can not, and will not, help around the house. You see it in movies, read about it in books, and probably hear it in songs.

I cannot say I do not know where this is coming from, in my home growing up, the chores were shared by gender. Boys did the men-chores like washing the car and carrying heavy stuff, while girls did the cooking, cleaning and taking care of the babies.

Lekki Wives - TV Show or the Moral Police

Lekki Wives is a new series produced and directed by Blessing Effiom Egbe, the producer of “Two Brides and a Baby” which I haven't seen, but whose other romantic comedies I have liked in the past. When I first heard the title, I thought it was going to be a reality TV series, in the mold of the "Wives" of USA - Basketball Wives, Hollywood Ex-Wives, Real Housewives of wherever, etc. but that is not the case. It is a scripted drama comedy series, more like Desperate Housewives.

Lekki wives is touted to "highlight the lives and antics of five women who live in the highbrow, posh Lekki area of Lagos and is a true reflection of the modus operandi of many wealthy, fashionable and “happening’ women who call it home." Lekki wives stars Kiki Omeili, Adaora Ukoh, Katherine Edoho, Keira Hewatch, and Chinomnso Young as the main characters.

The series producers say they aim to teach, inform and at the same time, entertain viewers with the show. I have seen the preview and the first thing I notice is the clean camera work, the interior settings are also very well designed and colored. However, I'm not too sure about some of the storylines in there, they seem to want to shock and push the envelope. At the same time, it could work if done well.

Come What May - Romance Meets Music

Talking about Moulin Rouge the other day reminded me of this song from the musical, the lyrics just does it for me. Love can be sweet sha, enjoy!

And there's no mountain too high
No river too wide
Sing out this song and I'll be there by your side
Storm clouds may gather,
And stars may collide
But I love you (I love you)
Until the end of time(until the end of time)

Come what may, Come what may
I will love you until my dying day

Full lyrics

Movie Reviews - Ties That Bind

Ama Abebrese is a doctor, she loves her ex-boyfriend but has broken up with him because she's had two miscarriages related to incompatibity issues with regards to making healthy babies. She's afraid that means they'll never have children together, and does not want to be barren or subject him to the same fate. She is also scared that everyone will blame her, and the burden of having or not having children would crush their love and marriage. So she pushes him away even without telling him of her losses.

Omotola Jalade is also incapable of having live babies with her husband, she either miscarries, has stillbirth or the children die as infants. We watch as she endures several humiliations and pressure from all around especially from her mother-in-law. Though he appears weak and under his mother's thumb, I like that her husband stands by her her when it really matters.

Holiday Cooking - With a Side of Brussels Sprouts

Because we traveled over the holidays, I tried not to do anything too adventurous in the kitchen with my cooking. I planned to bake a cake but scrapped it in favor of store-bought pie, buns and chin-chin for dessert. The main meal was whole roasted Chicken and I played it safe with plain Jollof Rice as the primary side dish.

For veggies, I decided to go with Brussels sprouts. This is not the favorite vegetable to grace my table neither did I grow up eating it, but since spending a few years in the UK with a couple of Christmas Lunches with natives, I hardly think 'holiday' without thinking of the small sized cabbage wannabes.

I hear that Brussels Sprouts are not very well loved, and truly on their own, they don't taste that great. However... however, they do have some things going for them. For me, first and foremost is that they're veggies and so obviously, the calorie count is relatively low. They also provide some variety to the usual suspects of lettuce, carrots, spinach, cabbage, etc.

What is the Mu-mu thing about Love?

Whenever I hear this question, some quotes from one of my favorite movies of all times come to mind. In Moulin Rouge, a poor poet is in love with a cynical courtesan, and when she says she couldn't fall in love, he tells her, "a life without love, that's... terrible...Love is like oxygen! Love is a many splendored thing. Love lifts us up where we belong. All you need is love!"

I watched that movie a long time ago, when I too was beginning to ponder the meaning of love, and I'll like remember those words forever. Another quote that has stuck too is when one of the characters says of love, "The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return." I totally agree. It takes courage to love, and when your love is returned, it can be beautiful.

The other exposition about love which I hold close to my heart is the one by Paul in ICorinthians 13: 4-8a

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.

Oscars Nominations and who gets my Votes

I have watched several movies, some of which are I've reviewed, and it was with interest that I realized that a lot of those movies were being mentioned when touts for Oscar glory were being made. The nominations are out now and Lincoln takes the lead with 12 nominations, including best picture and best director for Steven Spielberg. I won't be surprised if it wins both, it is a worthy film though not my favorite.

At this point, can I say that I'm disappointed that Cloud Atlas did not make any of the top categories, and was not nominated at all, at all? Imagine the great work by Tom Hanks, Halle Berry, and the other actors, as well as the directing, makeup, cinematography, editing, etc? Were they disqualified for some reason I don't know? Anyway, too bad.

So what do I think of those that were nominated? Not that it matters. The award winners are selected by "members of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences, a group of some 6,000 working professionals in cinema", and I can assure you I'm not one of those esteemed people. But let's have some fun with this, shall we?

Let's Talk to the Men Who Rape - Shall We?

There is often the perception that men who rape are beasts and animals, the dregs of society. But is that really true? I think we make a mistake when we equate rapists with murderers, violent delinquents, street touts, depraved armed robbers, etc. In my experience, and that of a few women I've spoken with, or heard their stories, rapists are more usually the men around you, men you know.

It could be a male friend, coursemate, colleague, or neighbour. In some terrible instances, it could be someone related to you, a father, brother, and for some women, a boyfriend or a husband. Now, I know, I know. I am being heavily gender biased. A contributor to a thread on Facebook almost derailed a discussion on rape by bringing up the fact that women rape too, and that men can equally be victims of rape. I will not deny that.

However, history, statistics and current events, as well as shared experiences show that rape is a crime that is predominantly committed against women. So I'll focus on male rape against women here. As I was saying, rapists are not always strangers. In the sensational Abia rape case last year, the victim knew some of her rapists, and called them by name. They were not armed robbers, they were not street touts, they were university students.

New Year Extravaganza! 18 Books, $100 Grand Prize

Welcome to the New Year Book Extravaganza!

We're featuring 15 authors, all with book giveaways AND you'll have a chance to enter at each stop for the $100 Grand prize Giveaway!

Meet featured authors and learn more about them and their books on the dates below. You may also enter their giveaways, and read "glimpses" of the books, at any time on the Event Page.

Bad Boy Rehab - Giveaway Hop

We tried giving up Bad Boys for our New Year’s Resolution…..
but try to make me go to rehab and I said no no no.

Bad Boy (n.) person
1. A guy who has many characteristics of a naughty, naughty boy.
OMG let the drooling begin.
2. A heartbreaker with a five o’clock shadow.
Rawrrrrrr!
3. Independent and willful. Does what he wants when he wants. Never follow trends, they follow him.
4. Someone that’s not looking for trouble, but there’s a serious sense of danger about him.
We love danger!
Usable Note: A bad boy is a gorgeous man with MANY layers and is INSANELY irresistible to women.
 *raises hands*… YES PLEASE!

It is said that most of us ladies prefer the bad boys, I don't know about that. What I do know is that I like reading about them in romantic fiction. There's just something about a bad boy falling in love and becoming vulnerable, just like in Obsidian, the YA novel by Jennifer Armentrout.