For Those Who Are Single This Valentine

The stores are decorated in candy hearts, flowers and bears. Every TV or radio commercial reminds you that it’s time to remember your sweetheart on this special day for lovers. Your feelings range from sadness, to revulsion to anger. What’s a single person to do?

The following suggestions are designed to both answer that question and to help you have a good day after all, while working to make it your last solo one.

Celebrate the day by planning an activity that is meaningful and enjoyable to you:

- Go to a day spa for “the works”
- Plan an intimate dinner for 3 or 4
- Go ice-skating or to the movies with a fun friend
- Go out to dinner and a movie with a group of other singles
- Focus on what you enjoy and make a conscious decision about how to mark the day
- Un-Valentine's Day parties are very popular and can be a lot of silly fun. You can attend one or throw one of your own.

32 Sweet Classic Love Songs For Valentine's Day

I know there are millions of love songs, even more than there are romantic movies, so you can understand how difficult this was to collate. I had some that I will never forget, my top 10 favorites but  I wanted a list more diverse, with both old and new songs, but all sweet.

I say sweet because there are different kinds of love songs, break-up songs, sexy love songs [called baby making songs], danceable love songs for weddings and love song rock.

My preference in love songs is slow and sweet ballads, and in the list below, I've tried to include all the artistes whose songs have touched me along the years. For some of them, it was really hard selecting which of their tracks to include, especially for some of them that specialize in love songs and ballads. Still, I'm happy with this list, and will play any of these songs any day and any time. Enjoy!

We Are Nigerians - The Amalgamation Documentary

Are we really one Nigeria? The Journey to Amalgamation documentary is about the journey to the creation of modern Nigeria. It takes viewers from the early empires and great city-states to the legends of pre-colonial Nigeria and the stories of those individuals who fought valiantly to preserve the sovereignty of of the different nations of Nigeria in the face of colonial rule. The also cast the British business empires as the greedy *** that led the colonial charge, but also truthfully, as the opportunity makers through which rose the first generation of men and women that fought for Independence.

I found the documentary very informative and educational but I would have been very prouder and more inspired to watch it if Nigeria after amalgamation 100 years ago, the country was at a better place for more of the people that make it up. Till today, agitations remain about splitting up the country, the labor of our heroes past seems to have been in vain.

For what it is worth, I salute the people who made the video, the collection of pictures and stories is now set together for all to see, forever. We need more documentations like this. Watch and know more about our history...

Ebuka Obi Uchendu - February Man Candy #14

Ebuka is an Alumni of the Big Brother Nigeria and is currently a free lance TV host and presenter, as well as writer and contributor for paper and online magazines. Brains and brawn, that's sexy :)

Should you spend Valentine with your Wife or Girlfriend?

Someone sent me a link to this video made by Battabox which asked men the question above. Honestly, I didn't know whether to laugh or shake my head. Is the assumption in Nigeria then that most married men have girlfriends too, to the extent of ditching their wives on Valentine's Day? Am I being naive to think this is a crazy, stupid question? Or is it a valid topic of discussion? I want to hear from those who live in Nigeria, please. The video itself is quite crappy, but you can see it here.

Coconut Flakes Frosted Cake

In the sweetness of Valentine's Day, I'll be sharing a couple of the naughtiness I get up to in the food department. As much as one tries to eat healthily, sometimes you just relax and enjoy. Before I go too far, let me clearly state that I did not make this cake. It was bought from Whole Foods by a friend for Atala's birthday which was last week.

I think I've had coconut cake before but I don't think I've tasted one as good as this, it was extra awesome. What made it stand out even more was that the frosting was completely made from coconut flakes, I loved it as did Atala and it was gone the next day :)

Prayer is Effective in Finding a Husband

Our selected cinema movie this valentine is “Beautiful Creatures,” whose trailer got my attention not just because of the fantasy story, but also the clips of Viola Davis. I was looking around online for more news on the movie and came across this interview the Oscar nominee from last year’s “The Help” gave to Page Six.

She said, “I was the loneliest woman in the world, and someone said, ‘You should just pray for a husband.’ ” She took her pal’s advice, adding, “I said I wanted a big black man from the South who looked like a football player, who already had children, who maybe had been married before . . . 3 1/2 weeks later I met my husband.”

The rest is now history, Viola Davis went on to marry actor and former college football player, Julius Tennon in 2003, and they adopted a daughter named Genesis last year. Isn't that amazing?

I have my own confession to make.

She Just Might be More into You than You Think

The subtle signs that men miss - Part 1 by Tobi Atte

Have you ever had that teacher that walked in on the first day of class and said “You already have an “A” in this class… your Job is to keep it that way till the end of the class”. Well, it’s a very similar situation with the ladies. Sorry ladies…I’m about to leak some secrets ….but not to worry. It’s for a good cause. Many good men here could use the help.

Many men think that most women are rude and snobby when in actuality; they just don’t understand the non-verbal or underlying messages that the women are sending them. Most times when women are sending those unconscious messages, they do so without even thinking about it and they do so for many reasons. For the sake of this article we will say there are four.

(A) To invite you to make a move or approach without being obvious about it
(B) To tell you that it’s ok for you to take the lead
(C) To test whether or not what they think they see (e.g) confidence , is actually who you are.
(D) To test the boundaries…to see what you can take….if you can handle them where they are emotionally, physically, spiritually etc.

That said, most men are not very good at telling when a woman is interested. They often misinterpret the cues and miss out.  In this two-part series, you will learn 6 of most underrated signs that she may just be more into you than you think. These are the first 3:

12 Ties that Bind Long-Term Relationships by Susan Krauss Whitbourne,

1. Thinking positively about your partner. Having positive thoughts about your partner means that you focus on the good, not the bad, in your partner’s personal qualities and character. Ruminating about the things that bother you can only lead you to magnify the small foibles which will make your partner even more irritating to you than you would otherwise feel.  People in good relationships engage in “sentiment override,” meaning that they remember more of the favorable than the unfavorable experiences they’ve shared together.

2. Thinking about your partner when apart. When you leave your partner for the day, the evening, or for an extended period of time, do you forget about his or her existence? Is it out of sight and out of mind for you? If so, this may be a sign that you’re not that much in love. You don’t have to spend every second apart sighing longingly, but the fact that your partner isn’t there should at least cross your mind some of the time during the course of the average day.

3. Difficulty concentrating on other things when thinking about your partner. If you’re able to set aside your thoughts about your partner without much effort, this suggests that your partner takes up only a small amount of cognitive load.  Multitasking isn’t particularly desirable when it comes to musing over your loved one. In the O'Leary study, this factor was particularly important for men.

Julius and IB Agwu on Marriage - Don't Bottle Issues

Julius Agwu, a comedian/musician, has been married to his wife, Ibiere for five years and they have a daughter, Zahra. They talk about their marriage in this interview, and personally, I think this is quite honest, the way they engaged with the interviewer's questions.

You have been married for five years. How has the journey been like?

Ibiere: It has been good.

How did you meet?

Julius: We met at a wedding in year 2000; she was part of the bridal train. Incidentally, Okey Bakassi and I were the comperes at the event, and both of us competed on who would be the first to ask her out. I made the first move but she was too little, she was underage.

Ibiere (cuts in): I was 18, I was not underage.

Julius Agwu: Well, she was 18 but she was a baby. I just saw one beautiful girl. I was smarter, I was faster, and I was able to get her contact. We became friends but she started putting up an attitude whenever I tried reaching her. At a point, I called her bluff and wondered who she was. In fact, I forgot about her.