Wanting to Know the Reason For a Break-up

Tone Bell as RJ

We watch this comedy on NBC sometimes, Whitney, and they recently added a new regular Tone Bell. The guy is a proper eye candy, and they show is giving us the full dose of his goodness. In the last episode, they had him nude in a small bath tub while nursing a bruised heart from a break up.

But this post is not about RJ's toned abs, or the blurred pixels they put over his flesh colored underpants. No, not really. It is about the afore-mentioned bruised heart. RJ had just been dumped by his girlfriend and he couldn't get over it. His major problem was that she didn't tell him why, and he wanted to know!

He said not knowing was like a torn in a sensitive spot, he always kept going back to it. He wondered if his lovemaking was stale, if had BO or if his mouth smelled. He just wanted to know why, and without knowing, he was afraid of moving on to another lady and getting a big fat no for his efforts.

Stopping Violence and Rape Against Women

In the United States yesterday, President Obama signed a renewal of the Violence Against Women Act which expands the protections extended to victims of domestic abuse and sexual assault. The original bill was written by Vice President Joe Biden, and in his statements reauthorizing a strengthened version,  Obama said,

...we’ve come a long way. Back when Joe wrote this law, domestic abuse was too often seen as a private matter, best hidden behind closed doors. Victims too often stayed silent or felt that they had to live in shame, that somehow they had done something wrong. Even when they went to the hospital or the police station, too often they were sent back home without any real intervention or support. They felt trapped, isolated. And as a result, domestic violence too often ended in greater tragedy.

So one of the great legacies of this law is that it didn’t just change the rules; it changed our culture. It empowered people to start speaking out. It made it okay for us, as a society, to talk about domestic abuse. It made it possible for us, as a country, to address the problem in a real and meaningful way. And it made clear to victims that they were not alone -- that they always had a place to go and they always had people on their side.

Uche Pedro of Bellanaija - Motivational Woman #7

Uche Pedro is the founder of BellaNaija.com, a leading website for entertainment, lifestyle and fashion in Africa and CEO/MD of Bainstone Limited, a new media company. At 25, she was rated #22 of the Top 100 people, places, events and things that shaped 2008 by PUNCH.

Uche was a 2010 Future Awards nominee for “Best Use of Technology”. She was also given Outstanding Contribution to Fashion Communication Award at the 2010 Africa Fashion Week held by Africa Fashion International (AFI) in Johannesburg, South Africa.

She was featured on Oprah Winfrey show, Beauty Around the World, in February 2010 and was interviewed by Isha Sesay for CNN i-list in September, 2010.

When Will He Pop The Question - If Ever?

Every woman understands how difficult it can be to put in serious time with a guy who refuses to commit. Or better yet, as soon as you break up with a guy, you hear about him putting a ring or another girl’s finger!

Most women assume a guy will pop the question when he finds someone he’s compatible with — when he finds “The one,” — but sometimes that’s not enough to make him commit. So,  just what does it take to get him to marry you?

The simple answer is: It takes him being ready. It has been my experience from the married men I have talked to, that in order to make the decision, takes 49% of finding the right woman and 51% is the guy being ready to commit.  If he’s not ready, he will not commit to anyone!

In fact 81% of married men surveyed said one reason they decided to get married was because it was the right time to settle down. Of course, even if a guy is ready to walk down the aisle, he still needs to find the right person. But he is more likely to meet her once he’s in that marriage state of mind. To help the girls find out when a guy’s ready to commit, here the five major signs to look out for that indicate that he’s ready to take it to the marriage level.

My First Baby Shower in America

I think Baby Showers are an American construct. I never heard about it while in Nigeria and in my time in the UK, I had a few friends/colleagues who had babies, but there were no baby showers. In Nigeria, usually, the celebration is after the woman has had the baby, and there is baby powder and laughter and rejoicing.

Here in the US, the birth of the baby is heralded a few months or weeks before the ED and it helps the mother to be to keep up the excitement as she receives gifts from family and friends that help her prepare for the arrival of the new baby.

I had missed a couple of previous showers which took place while I was in Nigeria, but when a new friend, who happens to be from my village in Asaba, invited me to her baby shower, I just knew I had to be there. It was a great way to celebrate that joy with all the other women there, and to show support to my sister/friend. Now counting down the days to welcoming the new baby :)

Date Night Movie Review - Warm Bodies

It's been a while since our last review, and it's not because we've not seen some movies recently. We have. The thing was, I decided on a new format for the reviews, something more interactive and which required us to sit down and chat on IM. Well, we finally coordinated our chat, and the review is now ready.

Atala: 'Warm Bodies'.

Myne: I liked the premise... young zombie falls in love and becomes human.

Atala: I agree - I was suckered by the five minute trailer that I saw. It promised a lot of quirky humour.

Myne: Indeed...

Atala: But it looks like I really need to pay attention to my rule - DON'T GET SUCKERED BY TRAILERS!

Myne: Lol... and at the begining it was fresh and engaging. I wanted to know R - the protagonist of the movie - some more. What was it about this new kind of zombie? And who does he fall in love with?

Myne: What did you think of the Julie - his love interest?

Atala: Hm... I didn't feel that her backstory (and the backstory of a lot of the cast) was well fleshed out.

Roast Beef Ribs with Fresh Lettuce and Tomato Salad

A. THE BEEF RIBS

All you need for this one is your pack of beef ribs from the store, and the spices you have for preparing meat.

1. Defrost the ribs in the fridge
2.  Cut into single pieces and rub all over with the spices
3. Put cooking spray on your oven-proof tray and place the ribs side by side
4. Grill in the oven on low heat for 15 minutes on each side.
5. Your meat is ready.

Actresses at the Icons of Nollywood Event

Rita Dominic

I usually look out for couples on the red carpet or events, but for the Nollywood@20 event, and as this is the women's history month, I felt it was worth it to celebrate these Nollywood actresses. I might not be able to dedicate an individual post for each of them, but they are indeed doing a great job for their industry.

According to Maestromedia, "The industry has given a lifeline to many who otherwise might not have amounted to anything. It has made millionaires and celebrities out of many also and it has provided entertainment and fun to many,  jobs for many others. For the nation, it has been the perfect brand ambassador, at least helping to bring positive attention to the nation."

More grease to their elbow.

Oreoluwa Somolu - Motivational Women Story #6

Oreoluwa Somolu is Executive Director of the Women’s Technology Empowerment Centre (W.TEC). Prior to this, she was Project Manager of Youth Empowerment & Restoration Initiative, an organisation working to increase local content in the Nigerian Oil and Gas industry by raising awareness of Oil and Gas careers among students.

Oreoluwa worked for several years in the United States at an educational non-for-profit organisation on a number of projects, which explored the interplay between gender and technology and which sought to attract more girls and women to study and work in science and technology-related fields.

She has a Bachelors degree in Economics from Essex University, U.K. and a Masters degree in Analysis, Design and Management of Information Systems from the London School of Economics & Political Science. Her research interests are the applications of technology in improving lifelong learning and also to raise the economic and social conditions of people (especially women and children) in the developing world.

Dear Myne - My Fiance Won't Abstain With Me For Lent

Please, I need you to help me ask your readers a question. I'm faced with a dilemma right now. As you know we are in the season of lent which is basically for fasting and praying and seeking the face of God. I have decided to be dedicated to my fasting this period and commit certain issues I am facing into Gods hands.

I discussed this issue with my husband-to-be and we decided that we should not have sex for the period of lent. Even though his church does not recognise lent, he recognises that it is a good exercise and has encouraged me thus far. Issue is, he seems to be getting weak. He is asking for it and I have somehow managed to prevent it till now.

Pressure is mounting from him and he is saying I am depriving him.