Is the Other Woman Sometimes Needed?

By Mgcini Nyoni

A friend of mine – a female friend, one day told a stunned group of colleagues that the ‘small house’ (a married man’s girlfriend), actually strengthens marriages, contrary to popular belief that ‘small houses’ are home wreckers. She gave three reasons for her conclusions:

One: If a good man cheats, he compensates for his bad deed by treating his wife extremely well; a descending wife will realise that this is the time to put in all the requests and they will all be fulfilled. A lot of people will question why I am saying, if a good man cheats when almost everyone is agreed that a man who cheats on his wife is a bad man: The definition of a good man goes beyond whether he cheats or not and in most cases whether he cheats or not does not even factor into his qualification of good or bad.

The cheating moments in a man’s life provides a stimulus that is needed to bring excitement and happiness to a marriage that had reached a boring patch. It is however important to note that the ‘cheating moment’ magic only works in the hands of ‘good men’; men who know that the wife always comes first and who make it clear to the small house that she will always be second best. Take a deep breath and read again; the theory is not as crazy as you think.

Pregnancy and You - Where is the Man?

I was ohhing and ahhing over a picture of Titi Oyinsan on the cover of Pregnancy and You Magazine and was doubly impressed when I realized in the full article that it was a photo shoot with her husband, fellow radio presenter, Gbemileke Oyinsan. They've had their twins now [see pictures], so the pictures are probably a few months old.

The magazine photo shoot and cover article reminded me of a discussion over on Ginger's blog on whether pregnancy was an excuse for men cheating on their wives. Of course it's not, but it was noted how sometimes women make it easier for such men by excluding them from the whole process of pregnancy, birth and parenting. I used the example of baby showers, which in my experience is female exclusive. For that reason, I really appreciated this magazine for giving Gbemi the opportunity to shine as well, even if they didn't put him on the cover.

See more pictures below...

Movie Review - Place Beyond the Pines

The Place Beyond the Pines is a mid-range indie movie in the sense that it had some good actors though limited cinema release. The movie was essentially three movies in one; the first part was about Luke (played by Ryan Gosling), a stunt performer at a travelling circus who finds that he has fathered a son. This discovery radically alters his life's trajectory, turning him from vagrant to criminal, and it ultimately sets him up for a dramatic encounter with Avery, a young police officer who tries to capture him when he tries to evade arrest after a robbery gone horribly wrong.

The second part of the movie centers around Avery, and how he deals with the fallout of the encounter with Luke, while the last part fast-forwards to fifteen years after the second part, and the focus this time is on the children of Luke and Avery, who start up an unbalanced friendship, not knowing anything about the history between their fathers.

Atala's Review - I had heard quite a few good things about this movie before it came out, so I was quite looking forward to watching. However, I wasn't sure whether it would be shown in the cinemas in our area, because it was billed as kind of 'indie', and we don't usually get those shown. But the Movie God must have been smiling on me, because it just so happened that it was showing at our local cinema.

I found the first part of the movie the most touching and engaging. Sure, Luke goes off the rails and embarks on a life of crime (not that there was far to go, since he already lived life on the margins). But at his heart, he is driven to do this by a desire to become more of a father to the son he didn't know he had; it's as though seeing his son has made him realise how important it is to be a father.

Date Night at the Africa Movie Academy Awards AMAA

Uche and Habiba Ogbu

The Africa Movie Academy Awards (AMAA) took place at the Glory Hall Cultural Centre, Yenagoa, Bayelsa last weekend, and as usual some people decided to step out on the red carpet with their significant others, friends or colleagues.

Read Charles Novia's review of the event here.

Dear Myne - I don't Know the Man I Married

Dear Myne, This is the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I'm by nature a very private person especially when it comes to my relationship with my husband. But due to recent events and my ensuing confusion, I've decided to seek advice anonymously. I'm pouring it all out so please forgive the epistle.

I dated my husband for 5 years and got married less than 2 years ago. For about half the time we dated, we were in different states/countries, but the relationship endured. I have always had very intense feelings for my husband and I believed it was the same vice versa. He is very caring and concerned about my well-being. As far as I knew, we don't joke with our love for each other.

As at the time I started dating him, I knew he had a past with the ladies and had acquired a reputation as a womaniser but he somehow convinced me that the phase had passed. According to him, he had gotten the urges out of his system. I believed him. I was a virgin when we met and remained so till some months to our wedding.

I have always had a phobia for being in an unfaithful relationship due to past experiences with ex-boyfriends. Through our five year courtship, there were two incidents when I was sure he was cheating on me. On both occasions, he spun me such believable tales and I also somehow believed my paranoia was at work.

Curiosity on Mars Draws Naughty Pictures

Caption This

NASA recently published pictures from Curiosity's track patterns, and the Mars rover appears to have traced out a very penis-like design on the dusty surface of the alien planet, complete with balls, lol...

According to HuffPo, the "car-sized rover landed on Mars last August with a mandate to explore the planet and analyze whether or not Mars could have supported life forms. Curiosity is controlled by a team of NASA engineers, who send two sets of instructions to the exploratory craft each day."

If you ask me, I don't think Curiosity made that pattern by mistake, my guess is those engineers are being very naughty :)

So who can best caption the picture?

Charles Novia Reviews The African Movie Academy Awards

"Charles, you know you have to write a review about this year’s AMAA or you will be seen as biased, not after you have reviewed the AMVCA" a prominent Film Maker said to me as we arrived Yenogoa by road.

I had already made up my mind weeks before to do such, even if I was in a somewhat precarious position; my movie ‘Alan Poza’ was nominated in two categories . If we didn’t win anything ( and eventually we didn’t) some might misconstrue my review as ‘sour grapes’ rather than the honest and unbiased opinion I have chosen to write.

‘Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn’, says Clark Gable in the movie ‘Gone with the Wind’ and I align with his phrase.

With all sense of propriety, I will not in anyway compare the two awards. That is left for the viewers and readers to do but I will only make appropriate objective commentaries as witnessed by me.

The show started with a group of dancers who gave a good account of themselves in their choreography of the AMAA theme song. The dancers captured the essence of Africa in their dance and the theme song itself had a pulsating multi-African feel to the mix. This was followed by a brief reel of late Nollywood actors who passed on in the last year.

Is This Love? Olivia Pope and Fitz

Shonda Rhimes and her team of writers will not kill me over Olivia Pope and her love affair with the president. This their love nwantiti, I just can't! Hear it from the lovebirds themselves...

OLIVIA: I don't want to talk to you. I'm never gonna be ready to talk to you, so why don't you just --
FITZ: I love you.
OLIVIA: - stop saying that. You're having me followed, watched. There are cameras in my apartment. That's not love.
FITZ: You have to understand. Defiance changed everything for me. Everything...You don't fix me! You don't handle me! THAT is not love, that's control. I asked you to be a team. We should've been a team. It should've been me and you, but instead it was you and Verna and Cyrus and Hollis and Mellie. I am angry that you fixed the election, but I am even angrier that you thought you were fixing me.
OLIVIA: You're angry ... then why are you here?
FITZ: I'm here because I love you.

Why I Watch Law and Order: SVU

One of my favorite shows on TV is Law and Order SVU, and the biggest reason I respect them is the way they blend education, information and entertainment. Their last episode was titled Girl Dishonered and it shone the spotlight on rape in college campuses around the United States. As much as the episode was scripted, it was also real. No other show is able to do that.

Jezebel had a compilation of the plot points in last night's SVU episode and the corresponding real life events on which they were based.

SVU: Lindsay is gang-raped by three frat guys who later claim she's crying rape because she's embarrassed about her slutty behavior.

Real Life: Four University of Montana football players allegedly gang-raped a drunk female student; charges were dropped because it was unclear whether she was "just embarrassed" about what happened.

SVU: Lindsay Snapchats her rapist the next day, leading students and administrative officials to doubt that she was actually raped.

Real Life: Woman allegedly raped by Mizzou basketball player Michael Dixon Jr. texts him the next day, leading students, officials and cops to doubt that she was actually raped.

Kate Middleton in Blue - Is it a Boy?

Just joking. She looks good though. I know I shouldn't, but I can't help comparing her with Kim Kardashian who looks much bigger. See more pictures below :)