Facing Facts - 5 Myths About Women and Sex

by Kristen Mark

There is so much misinformation floating around about women's sexual desire. It is built up to be so elusive, it is no wonder women feel restricted in their expression of it.

As a researcher who focuses a lot of my attention on sexual desire, I think it is important to set the record straight when it comes to misinformation regarding women's sexual desire.

Here are five myths decoded based on the science of desire:

Myth One: Women have lower sexual desire than men.

No! Research has found that women and men are equally likely to be the partner less desirous of sex. This hasn't been found in just one study, either. In my own research alone, I've found a non-significant difference between men and women in three different samples of couples.

Myth Two: Sexual response involves desire, then arousal, and then orgasm.

Should I Leave or Should I Stay by Ekene Onu

Sometimes I get the question, should I leave or should I stay. I never give an opinion. I believe you should do as your heart, mind and spirit leads you to. What I do say is this...You can begin the healing process exactly where you are and as you heal and grow, the time will come when you know what to do and find the courage to make whatever choice you choose for yourself.

So how do you begin to heal even in the midst of crappy circumstances? Stop focusing on him(her) and begin to focus on you.

Refresh your spirit by;

1. Reconnecting to yourself. Be quiet. Breathe in and out. Reflect on how God made you and the woman that you still are down deep. I don't care how many mistakes you have made or how imperfect you may seem, you were created by a divine order and not in error. And every day you are given a fresh breath of life. A gift from your creator. Your life is not over. Even if you are constantly in tears...try to remember who you are. And be grateful for that.

2. Reconnect to the people around you. Sometimes we forget that love is all around us. We keep seeking it from one person. And that person may be too damaged to give you what you need. If he cannot or will not love you, it doesn't mean you are unlovable or even unloved. Look around you. Your family, your friends, your children perhaps. Receive their love and give back in return. Cultivate the relationships that feed your soul.

Ibifiri and Bolaji Kamson - We Make A Good Team

Ibifiri is the blogger behind Secretlilies, she is also a writer and aspiring author. She writes of herself, "I love motivating people, I love women empowerment, I am a romantic at heart, I love fashion and I love creativity. Things I do: Fashion: Love making handbags. Writing: I love to write, even though I haven't published any novel yet. Reading...I long for days I can lazy about in bed reading a good romance novel. Very relaxing. God: hmmm Love Him. Temi: my knight." Enjoy her marriage avowals;

How did you meet your husband?
After uni we were told that we had to stay at home for an extra year before we could go for youth service, so I decided to be a photographer. Would I say it was fate or what there was an opening in one of the best photo studios in Port Harcourt and I sent my CV, went for the interview and was hired. That's how I meet my husband, turns out the owner of the photo studio was/is my husband. He was scoping me right from the day of my interview..lol

How long have you been married?
25th of October this year, would be 5 years.

How did your husband propose?
He tricked me into going to le Meridan hotel, when I got there, the head staff told me some story that some one asked to see me in the conference room. I wouldn't have gone in the first place but he was so polite that I obliged. Got into the conference room, which already had a romantic setting. I sat down still wondering what it was all about, and wondering who really wanted to see me while thinking that I must have missed the polo tournament. Lo and behold my husband then boyfriend came out from behind the curtains, got down on one knee and proposed. All the staff in the hotel knew about this except me.

Leonardo DiCaprio is Definitely Not The Great Gatsby

The Great Gatsby is a great book. I enjoyed it when I read it, a long time ago to be honest, and I am looking forward to seeing it at the cinema soon. Two of the reasons drawing me to this movie version is Baz Luhrmann directing and Leonardo DiCaprio playing the title role.

After falling in love with his portrayal of Jack in Titanic, I've been a fan, and it's easy to think he's the same as the characters he plays on the big screen. That is, until you see pictures like the ones below.

Warning, you might be traumatized. :)

Sanaa Lathan and Gabrielle Union - Is 40 the new 30?

Both Sanaa Lathan and Gabrielle Union are over 40 and both women are looking awesome. Definitely, there are more women these days who know how to take care of themselves, and keep looking fit and trim long after the age when some of our mother's generation gave in to the battle of the bulge. When she was listed as one of People's most beautiful women, Gabrielle was asked how she keeps looking so young, she replied;

"I started drinking a gallon of water a day in my mid-thirties. It changed everything from weight maintenance, to hair, skin, nails and digestion."

I've been hearing about the amazing properties of water from everyone recently, from my GP to my hairdresser to my gym instructor. For someone who barely drinks 5 small cups of water a day, its time to amp it up.

Children's Book Week Giveaway

Established in 1919, Children's Book Week is the longest-running literacy initiative in the country. Each year, books for young people and the joy of reading are feted for a full week with author and illustrator appearances, storytelling, parties, and other book-related events at schools, libraries, bookstores, museums, and homes from coast to coast! Visit Book Week Online for more information.

This giveaway hop to celebrate and promote Children's Book Week is hosted by KidLitFrenzy, Mymcbooks and I Am A Reader, Not A Writer. I will be giving away an Amazon.com GC of $10 value, and this giveaway is open to US residents only.

To enter, follow this site via Google+ and leave a comment below with your details. Good luck.

The United for Kids Foundation Sparkle Ball – 15th of June 2013

United for Kids Foundation (UKF) is a registered organisation in Nigeria, UK , and US. They aim to alleviate the hardship of less privileged kids in Nigeria through Educational, Healthcare, and Social programs. These include providing libraries, school equipments (desks, toilets, roofs) for state run schools, visiting and presenting gifts to motherless babies' homes, providing alternative private medical care to children in government run hospitals as well as a monthly visit to State-run hospitals.

All activities are funded through donations and sponsorships received in the 3 countries mentioned above. Both trustees and volunteers carry out their responsibilities without receiving a dime from the foundation. This we have done for over 10 years and hope to continue for a foreseeable period. Our mission is to heal Nigeria one child a time.


Once again, United for Kids Foundation (UKF) is pleased to announce the last of its inaugural series of fund raisers towards its 2013 program. The UKF Sparkle Ball is the Queens’ land version of our popular black-tie event which promises to deliver elegance and entertainment at its finest to Nigerians and friends of Nigerians who live in the UK.

Woman Buried For 17 Days in Collapsed Bangladesh Building Rescued

A woman buried  for 17 days in the wreckage of a collapsed building in the Bangladeshi garment factory was rescued last Friday. This is indeed a miracle, knowing that more than 1,000 people had died in the accident and their bodies removed from the scene.

She told the private Somoy TV in Bangladesh;

"I heard voices of the rescue workers for the past several days. I kept hitting the wreckage with sticks and rods just to attract their attention. No one heard me. It was so bad for me. I never dreamed I'd see the daylight again. There was some dried food around me. I ate the dried food for 15 days. The last two days I had nothing but water. I used to drink only a limited quantity of water to save it. I had some bottles of water around me."

According to HuffPo, "She was discovered on the second floor of the eight-story Rana Plaza building, where crews have been focused on recovering bodies, not rescuing survivors, for much of the past two weeks. Once Reshma finally got their attention, the crews ordered the cranes and bulldozers to immediately stop work and used handsaws and welding and drilling equipment to cut through the iron rod and debris still trapping her. They gave her water, oxygen and saline as they worked to free her.

When Reshma was freed after 40 minutes, the crowd erupted in wild cheers. She was rushed to a military hospital in an ambulance, but her rescuers said she was in shockingly good condition, despite her ordeal."

Halle Berry Keeping Fit and Healthy While Pregnant

Halle Berry Showing baby bump on her way to the gym

Halle Berry was photographed yesterday on her way to the gym and her baby bump has definitely popped. It's obvious she's doing all she can to keep fit and healthy for her coming baby, especially as an older mom.

She is 46 years old and said recently of her second pregnancy and first child with fiance, Olivier Martinez, "I feel fantastic. This has been the biggest surprise of my life to tell you the truth. I thought I was kind of past the point where this could be a reality for me. So it's been a big surprise and the most wonderful."

She also said to CNN of her work with the United Nations World Food Programme to fight hunger, "I'm a mom, and that's first and foremost, but it gives me another reason to exist, another purpose. And if I know that I'm helping one person every day in some way, that really makes me feel good, and that's a legacy that I can leave to my children. Especially now, being a pregnant woman and already having a child ... it's so important what happens to the baby while they're in utero. And the first 1,000 days is fundamental."

Odi's Wife - Mercy Johnson on her Marriage and Motherhood

Mercy Johnson got married in August 2011 amid a lot of hubbub because her husband had been previously married, and only completed his divorce after they started dating. The wedding did go off without a hitch and in December 2012, she gave birth to her daughter here in the US. In an interview to Bellanaija, and the first of hers that I've read, she talks about the rumors around her wedding, and her journey as a wife and mother, among other things. Below are some excerpts;

It’s great to see you Mercy. Let me start by saying that you have a beautiful home.
Thank you. It was a surprise from my husband, Odi. He didn’t tell me about it while we were in America and when I returned back to Nigeria, I thought we were going to our former house but he drove me straight here. And then he also gave me a new car with the plate number ‘Odi’s Wife’.

Aww, that’s so sweet. There’s been a lot of media attention surrounding the birth of your daughter and her recent dedication. How does this make you feel?
At a point, I actually felt the whole thing was over dramatized. I really appreciate the fact that some people wish me well and are happy for me which is why I share her picture on Twitter once in a while. On my Twitter page, more than 3000 people ask me about Purity every day. Sometimes I get overwhelmed but I’m grateful for the love and goodwill messages and I can only say thank you.

Purity is quite a unique name. What inspired her name?
When I asked my husband, he said “You. She reminds me so much of you.” He said I have a good heart and he’d really want her to have a good heart and clear conscience like me. And he’d wish for everything about her to be pure.

As a first time Mom, how has the experience been so far?
It’s magical, it’s awesome! I just can’t stop staring at her. When I was pregnant, my sister-in-law came to the house and when her son pooped I said “Oh my God, don’t let it touch my chair!” Then I was about six months gone and she just looked at me and said “In three months time, you will understand”. And really, it is true. Now when Purity poops, I begin to dance. Everything is special. I want to clean her up myself, dress her up myself. I just can’t explain, she makes me complete.