Unrequited Love - Let's call it The Friend Zone

When I come across instances of unrequited love, I feel a small pinch in my emotions, or a mighty big pinch depending on who's telling the story. That's because even though true love has healed my heart I have felt that pinch in a personal way, mostly during my adolescent years of secret crushes.

You see a guy you like, you get to know them and they like you too. You begin to want to think yourself in love with them, but wait for it, they love someone already. You're like, shoot me now. Yeah, I know that's a bit dramatic, right?

Blame Les Miserables, the movie musical that came out Christmas day with Hugh Jackman and Anne Hathaway among others. There are several strands of stories in the movie, but this is not a review (which is coming soon btw), so I'm only going to talk about one of them - a love triangle with some characters.

A Blogger Proposal - Verastic Gets her Man

So next to Bellanaija, when she was still a blog, the next blogger I knew was Vera. Her veratic blog was shared on a Nigerian community message board, and her articles too. I liked her voice and followed her blog when she mentioned she was also an aspiring writer. When I started blogging, she was also among the first to follow and encourage me. Since then, I've got to know her, speak to her on the phone and hope to meet her one day.

Now, if you've read a few of her older blogs, you'll know Vera is a romantic. If she's not talking about relationships and how she wants everyone to get it right, she's writing about meeting the man of her dreams. So I am very happy for her that she has met the awesome guy who - as is obvious from her writings, and speaking to her too - makes her heart sing.

Igwe, as she calls him, has put a ring on it and Vera decided to share some of the pictures on her blog for us friends and blogggers to see. I wish them more joy and blessings in their union. Enjoy pictures and video below...

Season's Greetings with our Christmas Card

Thank you all so much for this year. We're wishing everyone a wonderful Christmas and a great New Year in advance. Be safe and have fun.

Betty Irabor on Marriage - It takes Two

Being the Editor-in-chief of one of the largest selling magazines in Nigeria isn’t Betty’s greatest achievement; nabbing one of the best men in the world, giving him children and keeping her family together is.

On her Wedding Day: My wedding day was the happiest day of my life! All my sisters and friends were around to assist me in planning; it was a lot of fun. Thinking about it now, I remember feeling a bit of the wedding jitters, mostly because I was told one of Soni’s ex girls was planning to ‘storm’ the wedding; she ended up not showing up and it turned out to be the very perfect day.

Funnily enough, my wedding dress gave me a headache because the blouse just did not sit right. It had a funny shape and people kept adjusting it for me but I kept telling them it was the style. It cost me less than N30,000 which included shoes, bag and other extras. I no longer have it, but Sonia my daughter, would not have appreciated it if I passed it to her anyway.

Date Night Movie Review - Lincoln

Atala - I'm a fan of historical movies - I feel they are a great way to spark one's interest in the events of another time while being entertained at the same time (although if you're really interested in history, you probably will want to do your own research to roughen up the smoothed-out Hollywood storylines). With this said, I was very keen on going to watch Lincoln, even though I understood that the film wasn't a full blown biography, but would just cover the first few months of 1865.

I glad to say that I came away learning about an interesting sliver of history that I hadn't been aware of before. In a nutshell, even though Lincoln had issued the Emancipation Act prohibiting slavery two years earlier, he still needed to get an amendment to the constitution ratified by the House of Congress so that slavery's illegality would be made permanent.

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas here

Let it Snow

Our Christmas tree went up yesterday after it was obvious the world was not going to end and we would all live to see December 25...just joking. Anyway, those following me on instagram would have seen the tree. However, we had gone for the symbolic lighting of the tree in a neighboring city weeks ago, which was when Christmas started around these parts. Shopping went into high gear and decorations and lights went up around the city center.

I chose for us to forego the lighting ceremony in our city and go for the neighboring one cos theirs had more adventure. While the highlight remained the lighting of the tree, following it was something called a Luminary Walk along a River Bank. I was sold.

I put on my parka and boots and prepared for a tramp through the dark woods. What it turned out to be was an almost magical walk along a trail lined with hundreds of luminaries - little paper lanterns placed in a row on the pathway. There were carolers, drum tattoo, and amazing decorations and light displays.

The Magic of Marriage by Nena Ndioma

The Sunday School topic at church yesterday centered on marriage. As the lesson progressed in the young adults class, I could see the longing in the young people’s eyes for an uncomplicated answer, an easy way toward ensuring they ended up with the right life partner – one who would ensure they maintained a joyful married life; one who would be there for the long-haul.

I explained that the solution lies in a combination of prayer and practicality. Prayer for God’s guidance and wisdom is essential, but after praying, you have to do your due diligence, using the wisdom He has given. You have to accept the guidance that He makes available (by not ignoring the red flags He shows you because you’re too much ‘in love’; by being open to listen to the impressions of others that have loved you and known you much longer than your suitor has, etc.).

Ultimately, you have to know how God speaks to you way before marriage – and you have to listen to what He impresses upon you when marriage time comes around – rather than ignore His voice and assume everything will turn out okay just because you ‘prayed’ and just because you’re a Christian.

Mid-Winters Eve Blog Hop Giveaway

As this year winds to a close, I want to use this opportunity to thank all the subscribers and regular visitors to this blog. You guys have been awesome, leaving comments, sending emails, and being very very supportive.

In my giveaway, 3 lucky people will each win a $10 Amazon Gift Card (US, UK and Canada). To enter, fill out the Rafflecopter Form below. There are 4 entries, and you must leave a comment on this post to qualify.

Good luck and Happy Holidays!

10 Women and 10 Questions on Relationships

Djinee is one of the Nigerian musicians who has been around for a while but not really getting as much attention as the Wizkids of the day. I liked his debut Ego when I was still back in Nigeria and got to know he has some new singles out as well as a website. One of the singles is titled Lover's Rock and in the spirit of the song, Djinee decided to field 10 different questions on dating and love from 10 women. The questions are wide ranging and the answers, IMO, mostly on point. Different strokes indeed, enjoy

Susan: what was the lesson you learnt from your last relationship?

Djinee: To be less protective. With my last relationship I was too protective. Worried about her safety. Probably I was too obsessed. So I learnt to give some space.

Jemila: what do men want in a woman?

Djinee: Different men, different desires. Some men want trophy girlfriends/wives. The beautiful, model look-alike who they can show off to friends like a new car. Some men look out for women to complement them, good cooks, good lovers, good listeners… Different strokes for different folks.

Spaghetti and Tomato Sauce with Green Lima Beans

Spaghetti and Tomato sauce is a regular in these parts but the Green Lima Beans addition was a first recently. Frozen vegetables were on a half-price sale at the store so I decided to pick a few new ones I had never tried before, one of those was green Lima beans. I wasn't too sure how it would turn out, so on the day I tried it, I decided to use it as a side to a more familiar meal.