Tiredness washed over him but he tried not to oscitate, keeping in mind the miasma from the gutter beneath. His stomach growled as Paul recalled the kitchen during dinner hour. A deeper growl echoed some feet away in synchronicity and Paul peered into the darkness, his heart beginning to race.
Two glowing eyes emerged from the shadows followed by the rest of a massive dog. A security light suddenly came on, glinting off the shiny coat of the dog as it began to bark. Snapped into action, Paul took a step backward, and then another. The dog stood before a gatehouse, and in the mirror of the glass doors, appeared as two.
“Get him!” Someone shouted.
The dog and its image leaped forward as one, saliva dribbling down their jowls.
Paul ran.
___________
The Challenge from the PBC was:
Write a blog post in 200 words or less, excluding the title. It can be in any format, whether flash fiction, non-fiction, humorous blog musings, poem, etc. The blog post should:
include the word "imago" in the title
include the following 4 random words: "miasma," "lacuna," "oscitate," "synchronicity,"
If you want to give yourself an added challenge (optional and included in the word count), make reference to a mirror in your post.
For those who want an even greater challenge (optional), make your post 200 words EXACTLY!I had to look up most of the words before I started. Oscitate means yawn, synchronicity is synonymous with unrelated coincidences, lacuna is a gap, and miasma is bad air. I used all four words, there is a mirror in the post, and this is exactly 200 words. Hope you like my effort. For those not in the campaign, feel free to write yours and link to this.
Run, Paul! Well paced and gripping.
ReplyDeleteMine is number 106: http://thewarriormuse.blogspot.com/2011/09/platform-building-campaign-2nd.html
Oh poor Paul! My heart pounded a bit...could be the start of more...
ReplyDeletehttp://www.doreenmcgettigan.com
Interesting reading! Well done!
ReplyDeleteThanks for the comments, I'm glad you enjoyed it.
ReplyDeleteNow am enjoying all this. Going to do the challenge now!
ReplyDeleteEKSU 2011/2012 Departmental Cut-off marks
You did a good job with the words Myne,nice one.
ReplyDeletethat was a scary situation! i wonder what happened to him?! good piece =)
ReplyDeleteI could see that as an excerpt on the back of a book jacket! It's a book I'd definitely pick up and read. Great job. The words we had to use fit in seamlessly. I'm #44.
ReplyDeleteGreat piece of writing, I want to read the rest of the story now!
ReplyDeleteI think that next time, if there is a next time, Paul should take the LONG way home.
ReplyDeleteWell done.
Hmmmmmmmm...I wonder if I should? Paul is doomed by the way, poor creature.
ReplyDeleteLOL...
ReplyDelete@KT Hanna, I definitely agree with you.
@Igbogirl, you should, :)
Great tension that led to the cut-off. I liked the day's thoughts/experiences that ran through your MC's mind on his way home. The description of the concrete wall conjured an element of danger, even before the dog's appearance. ~ Nadja
ReplyDeletenice. you're a born writer...i was holding my breath for Paul. hope he got out good
ReplyDelete@Nadja, I was wondering if anyone would remark on that. :)
ReplyDelete@Stelzz, thanks, dearie.
Oh no! Run, Paul, run!
ReplyDeleteThrilling! Great job!
Uh oh, somebody's in trouble. Nice job. Mine is #29
ReplyDeleteThe chef set him up!
ReplyDeleteThis is great! I loved this: The dog and its image leaped forward as one...
ReplyDeleteMine is #3.
Thank you all for reading.
ReplyDeleteOooh scary from start to finish!
ReplyDeleteExcellent execution of action!
ReplyDeleteGreat job, Myne! :)
Excellent. Great foreshadowing and tension. I loved your use of those challenge words.
ReplyDeleteMyne,
ReplyDelete(Can I tell you first how pretty your name is?) I also wanted to come by and read your story, as I hadn't gotten a chance to yet! I loved it.
There's something about walking through an unfamiliar place that you can really only capture by doing so, but you brought that tension and discomfort to life! I'm really curious about what happens to Paul after the 200 words were over. A great way to whet our appetites for more!
Looking forward to reading more of your blog. Have an awesome day!
Great way to change the pace, and the twinning of the menacing dog via use of the mirror was inspired.
ReplyDeleteAck! I'd run too! Very nice work, Myne. :)
ReplyDeleteGreat Job Myne! (I'm rooting for Paul) ;)
ReplyDeleteA great entry! I'm really worried for him - hope he gets away.
ReplyDeleteIntriguing! I definitely want to read more :)
ReplyDeleteBah! What a way to end your piece... I am on the edge of my seat here!! :) I loved it, well done.
ReplyDeleteYou did a wonderful job of putting all the words into this piece. It read seamlessly. Wonderful piece with a cliff ledge ending. Good job.
ReplyDelete#189
i was wondering what those words meant x_x
ReplyDelete