I had a short but passionate relationship for 2 months with a girl that in the third month started to get distant so I got annoyed and broke it up suddenly. Well, I am really in love so I went back with my tail btw my legs and started courting her again. Its been a month of a toaster life. I txt her, email her, once sent her flowers on a special occasion. She gets back to me, we talk daily, but not with the frequency and passion we had at the beginning. I initiate it most of the time.
This is currently a long distance relationship. I stand on a fine thread where I might get tired of toasting with no clear sign from her and eventually get bitter at her. I am happy to be a toaster as I like romance and winning back a heart even if it makes me vulnerable. I am going to give it another month or so of persistence regardless of her poor feedback then I am done.
Its funny because, even if I am in love, you still get bitter in a way, and at time feel like once I win her back I will dump her to get back at her for making me so clueless for so long. Unless she explains it all to me and it make sense. For now, I am going to be persistent and consistent.
My confusion is caused by the fact that, even though I expressed my feelings more or less clearly to her, she has not done the same so it keeps you wondering. What I don't understand is if she likes my attention to boost her pride or genuinely wants to be won back?
Ehm she's prolly distant because of the first time you cut her off. These days, guys and girls are more careful about who they give their hearts too. You may need to explain to her, why you got rid of her before.
ReplyDeleteMany girls are not so easily wooed, toasting and being nice doesn't always win a woman's heart. You may be wasting time and money with all the 'toasting' you say you are doing. Just sit her down and explain everything - the past and the future.
For a minute, I almost thought I knew who you were. Sounds like me and my Ex.
ReplyDeleteWell, let me ask. Did you find out why she was distant the first time? You should ask her why she is this time. You can both talk about it. You probably hurt her the first time too.
"Its funny because, even if I am in love, you still get bitter in a way, and at time feel like once I win her back I will dump her to get back at her for making me so clueless for so long. Unless she explains it all to me and it make sense. For now, I am going to be persistent and consistent." You claim you love her and you are thinking what I just quoted? Hmmmm.
It's also possible that she does not trust you and is just humouring you. Now is your chance to prove your love to her. However, you guys need to sit and talk first, like I said before.
It is very simple. Tell her "I love you. Talk your own" Have you asked her why she is being distant. You probably broke it off without finding out why she was being distant which could be why she is being unresponsive.
ReplyDeleteTalk to her in plain and simple language. Unfortunately you guys do not understand clues girls give.
I have been didtance from my boyfriend for a month now since we came back for uyo, he keeps bringing up old issues and insuliting me and complaining like a nagging wife, I stopped talking when am around him or call or text when am away from him becouse am afraid anything I say or do can be used against me, last nite I go angry over nothing and broke it up, am fed up am pleaseing someone that can't be pleased so am letting faith take its cause and just do nothing about the brake up.
ReplyDeleteAre you dating my ex
DeleteThis sounds way too familiar. I think honest communication is your best bet. It really is underrated.
ReplyDeleteBe patient, be patient,and be patient! don't injure yourself, Just speak to her!Ahn Ahn You have to speak to her first, tell her how you feel, listen to how she feels too and stop thinking of revenging! Just Speak to her! All i hear in my head is "patience"
ReplyDeletewww.spynaija.blogspot.com
Well, others have said it: talk to/with her, find out what's going on in her head.
ReplyDeleteYou say you had a brief and passionate relationship, so I'm guessing you two maybe don't know each other that well...
Ask yourself some questions as well. Consider the long distance factor; what do you want out of a relationship with her? How good or honest are your own intentions? How do you know you love her? You claim that you do, but you're saying you might be out for revenge... that sounds dodgy to me.
My take: question yourself first, and consider your own motives. Sort yourself out. Maybe then go after her and give it everything you have. See what happens.
lol @ when I win her I will dump her to make her pay for... lwkmd. Two wrongs don't make a right
ReplyDeleteWhy all this indecision for goodness sake! Define what you, yes you, what you want. If you are sincere about what you are pursuing, then you won't be in want of what to do.
ReplyDeleteFirst impression they say lasts longer. Just keep on keeping on, its one of those *feminine* gimmicks.
ReplyDeleteHow old are you dude?
ReplyDeleteWhy don't you just ask her if she's in or out? Then again payback may already be in force- since you 'got annoyed and dumped her', You are probably being paid back.
ReplyDeleteWhy do I have the impression guy is in this for the chase not because he really really cares or he is a tad bit young..25?. Sorry but that bit about starting it up just for revenge and dump her give me an impression of youth and unseriousness..
ReplyDeleteThe two months of passion were they together in the same place or the long distance was there even then? I think 2 months is still early and they should still be in the getting-to-know-you phase, so if the girl isn't ready to commit she shouldn't be skinned for that.
ReplyDeleteAnd which one is the getting her back to dump again just because you are bitter,even though you claim to love her, and you want her to know how you felt when she made you clueless.Charity begins at home. The guy should seat himself down first and find out what he really wants from this relationship, what his intentions are and if he really even wants a relationship at all, or he just enjoys the thrills of a chase. Only after that can he ask the girl if she wants to be committed to him and then they can work things out from there.
You two need sit down and have a talk.
ReplyDeleteI don't think you are expressing your feelings as clearly as you think. Tell her in simple unambiguous words. It normally does the trick. Ask her why she keeps you at arms length. There that persistence you mentioned will do you good.
ReplyDeleteHehehe...that babe is done with you my friend; and don't be surprised if she already seeing someone else (keeping the long distance in mind). But you may try to find out from her to know exactly what turned her off you though, cos it may help you work on yourself so as not to repeat the same mistake with your future relationships. *just saying oh :D
ReplyDelete