10 Tips For Healthy Personal Relationships

1. First and foremost, love yourself. Not selfish but true, natural and overflowing love.

2. Understand the puzzle called you. When you understand yourself, understanding others would not be difficult.

3. Express verbally your love for your spouse, children and ward.

4. When your spouse or child apologises, forgive completely. Be magnanimous. Even if they do not, be generous enough to forgive and let go, and never bring past issue(s) to current issue(s).

5. Be faithful to your spouse and trust him or her and do not discuss your domestic affairs with a third party: so many homes have been sent to the hangman's noose by the fatal tongues of gossips. As an appendage, never forget that to be trusted you need to be trustworthy.


6. Never use brawl to settle scores. Your spouse is your soul-mate NOT a punching bag.

7. Love your spouse unconditionally - love 'in spite of' not just 'because of.'

8. Be confident but do not give pride a chance. Remember, only a thin line separates confidence and pride. A man who is confident enough would tell his wife, "Darling, I'm sorry, please forgive me," without feeling unmanly; instead he sees it as strength. But a proud man would never say sorry, even if he does, he fuels his wife's anger the more. He could snap, "Okay sorry, Mother Theresa!" The wife should be able to apologise without reservations as well. Parents who are humble would apologise to their children if they offend them.

9. Never use nagging as a tool to correct your spouse's short comings. It ironically does the opposite. Yes it is self-defeatist. Never shout at him or her in public or private.

10. Above all, pray. Pray always! Don't think your relationship is wonderful because you are perfect. I am yet to meet a living soul who is perfect, even marriage counsellors do divorce. So thank God and submit everything to Him.

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Author: Olayemi Ogunojo, a laboratory scientist by training. I'm from Ekiti State, Nigeria. I'm in my early 30s; single but not searching.