Tamar Braxton in Ebony Magazine, Talks About her Infertility, Abusive Relationships and Self Esteem

Tamar Braxton and her new baby, Logan, are on the cover of the latest issue of Ebony Magazine where she talks about her painful struggle with infertility before getting pregnant and how she got her post-pregnancy body right. She also discusses past abusive relationships and how they have affected her self esteem, as well as having vitiligo. Here are some excerpts from the cover story.

On how she dealt with pregnancy cravings and got her pre-pregnancy body back

“He’s like, ‘Nope. Don’t do it. You’re gonna be mad.” Vince chimes in, “Even before the pregnancy, she was very conscious about her weight, so I’m just helping her to be a better person.”

On surviving two past abusive relationships-including one where she was yanked out of her apartment by her hair.

I almost had to tell my story to each individual and then I decided that’s not what I’m going to do. I can’t make anybody believe, I can’t change anybody’s mind about anything. (The abuse,) it happened. I’m not all the way comfortable with sharing a lot of what happened to me (yet), but what I said was true. When I’m ready to talk about my abusive past I will, I’m sorry that I’m not. But if it wasn’t for (God), I wouldn’t be here.”

On how her abusive relationships affected her self esteem

“I haven’t always been vocal about my feelings, especially in a relationship. Now, I make sure that I’m very vocal about my feelings, everybody knows how I feel. Sometimes it’s over the top and most of the time it’s ‘Team Too-Much,’” she laughs, “But I have to do a lot. (I was) a shy person who had self-esteem issues trying to figure it out — now, I’ve gotten over my hangovers.

You say, I’m comfortable and confident, it took a long time to get there. Maybe like a year or so before Braxton Family Values, I wasn’t that person. I was faking it til I make it, pretty much…

“I didn’t feel like I was beautiful. I didn’t feel like I deserved things. I didn’t feel like I could stand in a room and speak or even sing and have people who wanted to listen.”

On having the skin disease Vitiligo, and rumors of her bleaching

Anybody with skin issues knows that that’s a very sensitive subject. And that’s why I’ve never shared that I have Vitiligo, because I do. I’ve always had it, since I was a young girl. It’s not as bad as others because everybody has it differently, but I’ve certainly had mine diagnosed. That’s why I tan. People say, “You bleach your skin!” But I tan just so I can have a better tone on my skin, boo!

It’s gotten worse since I’ve gotten pregnant. If you shake my hand now, to me it’s more noticeable. But when you get diagnosed with a skin disorder, it’s hard. It does weigh on your self-esteem. It really does. But I’m done defending that. I’m not bleaching my skin and if I was bleaching my skin and I felt like saying so, I would, but for the record, I am not.

On rumors that she's had plastic surgery

“I don’t have plastic surgery. I never had plastic surgery. I had a nose procedure done because I had to. I had no cartilage in my nose, I have a piece of cartilage from my ear put into my nose. I had a medical procedure done. I have no plastic in my nose. And when I shared that with the world, now I have Botox, and different kind of fillers. Now I touch my face, which I never touch my face…Everything is real on me.”

On why she fell in love with her husband, Vince

“The thing that I love the most about (Vincent) is that he’s helped me with accepting what happened to me and helped me realize that that’s not my make-up, (being abused) is not who I am, it hasn’t hindered who I am, it hasn’t stopped my integrity. I really appreciate him more and more everyday.”