If you watched the Disney princesses as a young girl, or ever crushed on British prince William or Harry, you may have dreamed of one day becoming a princess. And for Kendra Spears, an American from Seattle, she did get her prince.
Kendra married Prince Rahim Aga Khan, the eldest son of the Imam of Shia Ismaili Muslims, at a traditional Muslim wedding in Switzerland. Before the wedding, the bride converted to Islam and changed her name, she is now to be known as Princess Salwa Aga Khan. So, in exchange of being a princess - hopefully this also means being with the man she loves - she is changing everything about her including all her names and also her religion.
The question is, will you change your name [first name, not surname] AND convert to another religion for love and marriage? I know some people were against this when I blogged about Sound Sultan and his wife Farida, who was Chichi before the marriage, see here.
Vote blow and let's discuss in the comments section.
Dear Myne, this post couldn't have come in at a better time. My boyfriend and I are so in love & we plan on getting married. The only recurring problem we have is on religion. He's a christian & I'm not. & NO! I do not plan to convert before or after getting married. We both knew that fact when we met, became friends & got into a relationship. He was cool with it, but lately it's been a serious issue that almost broke us up & it scares me so much that it will sooner or later. I do not plan to make him convert to mine though. In my religion, I have learnt that one's relationship with God is personal. I love God in my own way & I'm willing to let him & everyone else love God the best way they can. Everything else has been amazing (although we have little misunderstandings like every other relationship & we always sort those out). I love this man so much & I'm not willing to let go. He's not perfect, neither am I. To be fair, I understand where he's coming from because there are questions like 'what religion would we raise our children?', 'where are we going to get married?', 'would Sunday mornings not be awkward?', etc. I've asked him to meet me halfway (although I really don't know what halfway is on this matter). I'm also scared that I'll become a different person from who he fell in love with if I choose to convert. We all know that religion shapes us all into the people we become. My religious beliefs have shaped me into the woman I am today, the woman he loves & the woman he wants to spend forever with. It's all so confusing & It's been weighing me down every single day since the 'almost breakup' & I really don't want it to affect our relationship. I've seen some posts in the past weeks similar to this & I've been resisting putting it out here, but I just can't anymore.
ReplyDeleteThanks Myne. I'm anticipating your reply. And to everyone who decides to add a comment on this, please be fair 'cause he'll be reading this too. Thanks!
Dante's Sunshine
Since you are so strong minded against converting to his religion, I'll say don't do it. You need to talk more around things like both of you retaining your religions but you need to have a discussion on what religion you will raise your children. Remember, when kids grow up they can even change or drop religion altogether.
DeleteDear reader, I agree with you that religion is a big part of who we are, but also we grow everyday. If we can go to school and acquire knowledge so easily, surely the least we can do is try to know more about the new religion? If it is something we can live with and train our children right within, then surely love should cover all. You know God is love in most religions :)
DeleteWhat I'm saying is this. Since your BF is reading too, both of you should try to learn more about each other's religions, don't be so hardline. Attend each other's services once or twice. This will help you make the decision on who to convert, you or him, and also whether it's best to stay with your religions knowing you now understand better and can live with separate religions. The discussion can now focus on how to bring up the children.
IMO, bringing up children in a specific religion is not meant to indoctrinate them to become fundamentalists, but to have a solid and moral background with stories and models on treating people right, and an appreciation of authority and God.
All the best as you make your decision.
With the kind of money the Aga Khans have? Hell, why not! LOL!!
ReplyDeleteI don't think I can change my religion for anything not even marriage. Faith,belief,or denomination,no problem anything other than that is a big No.
ReplyDelete.....And a topic after my heart.
ReplyDeleteFirst time commenting Myne(after 2yrs), let me me say fabulous does not begin to cover what you do with this blog, God Bless you.
My situation mirrors Anon 2:58am, the boyfriend might actually think i wrote it, I'll be forwarding this link to him. Though he has chosen to let me practice my religion also, where we cant seem to go ahead is with kids. We can be selfish with our love but its never worth the confusion to kids. I discussed with another friend and i got a different insight to this. He said wrong and right is not ambiguous, we can train our kids on this but i also believe a solid religious foundation is compulsory, yes the kids might deviate from this religion when they grow up an all.
How can i train a child on something i have no idea about, its easier for me to train the kid with what i know about. I cant say we have figured it all out but i know we need to reach a comfortable compromise, before we go ahead.
Welcome back dear, nice to read from you again, and thank you :)
DeleteA compromise will be the best option. I think the person who is more devout may be in the better position to take charge of the children's upbringing in any religion you agree on. Check out my response to the first Anon.
If an adult chooses to convert, whose business is it but hers. And Myne, you know that the people that objected to ChiChi becoming Farida wouldn't have done so if it was reversed. And they would still have objected if it was done in the absence of marriage.
ReplyDeleteYou're probably right. Many are pro conversion to Christianity and not vice versa. And this is not about Chichi or the Aga Khan, just a discussion on personal experiences and opinion.
DeleteAs his older brother gets divorced
ReplyDeletehttp://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2416176/Aga-Khans-son-divorces-American-wife--buys-2-2m-Manhattan-apartment-start-new-single-life.html
I think changing your last name is a big deal not to talk about changing your first and last name!!!!! thats a whole lot of change.....Even if you convert, please let that be the middle name at least not get rid of it fully like the name didnt exist. In respect to religion, its a personal decision to convert to your spouse religion which is not easy as well to leave what you have known for years to start learning a new teaching. None of it easy.
ReplyDelete