Jennifer Lopez has a new book coming out soon titled True Love, in which she talks about several of her relationships, including marriage to Marc Anthony that lasted 7 years and produced two children, 6 year old twins, son, Max and daughter, Emme.
In excerpts from the book obtained by People Magazine, Jennifer Lopez reveals that she was 'terrified' at the time she made the decision to walk away from Marc Anthony.
The singers were married in June 2004 and announced their split in 2011 soon after their 7th wedding anniversary. The divorce was finalized just this year.
In the book, Jennifer Lopez noted that abuse doesn't necessarily have to be physical and also admitted she has suffered abuse in past relationships;
I've never gotten a black eye or busted lip but I've been in relationships where I have been abused in one way or another: mentally, emotionally, verbally.
'I know what it feels like for your soul to be diminished by the way your loved one is treating you.
'It took me years to figure out that, in that kind of relationship the intensity and the conflict are really coming from two people.
'Because every day you don't walk out that door, every day you accept things in a partner and in yourself, is a day that you're saying it's okay.'
Jennifer Lopez said she knew there was no going back after suffering a panic attack while preparing for a photoshoot.
'Anybody looking from the outside in would have thought my life was great.I had a husband and two beautiful children. I was on American Idol and my new single On The Floor had gone to number one all over the world.
What people didn't know was that life really wasn't that good. My relationship was falling apart and I was terrified.'
'As I sat there getting made up, my heart was beating out of my chest and I felt like I couldn't breathe... I became consumed with anxiety.
What was happening to me? I leaped from my chair and said to my dear manager Benny Medina, "Benny, something is happening! I feel like I'm going crazy." My mom was there and she rushed to my side too.
'It was one of those moments when you're so scared you can't even scream. In a blur of fear and panic, I looked at Benny and my mother and blurted out the words: "I don't think I can be with Marc anymore." Then I burst into tears.
'It was out. The thing I feared more than anything in the world. I collapsed into their arms and began to sob.'
JLo also writes about her children, and how she is helping them cope with the divorce.
"Max was sitting on my lap, asking me the kind of questions that a four-year-old asks. "'Will you always be my mommy? When are we going to see daddy again? Will we always be together?"
"I hugged him tight and whispered 'Listen, there's only one thing you need to know,'" she wrote. "'Me, you and Emme are always going to be together, no matter what, okay? No matter what.'"
Wishing her all the best in her future loves.
Via NY DailyNews
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