What Men Notice About Women - Atala Writes

Funke Akindele covers YNaija!

The question of what men notice immediately about women is one of those questions that keeps on popping up again and again in conversation. And no wonder... a person wants to know what everyone else is thinking so that he or she can take advantage of them... erm, I mean, have a better relationship with them. So it stands to reason that if women know what thing men notice first, then (assuming they want to attract men), they can flaunt that thing to the max, if it’s available to flaunt.

90% of what Nigerians learn in School is Useless

This article was written by Atala some years ago when he was still a blogger, but he revived it in response to the indictment of Lazy Intellectual African Scum. If you don't know what I'm talking about, click on the link to read the tongue lashing given to us over-degreed Africans by a fictional Bwana Walter as transcribed by Zambian author, Field Ruwe. Well, after I received my share of the reproach, I sent a link to Atala at work and from emails, we continued the discussion when he came back.

Because his article is on the longish side, I won't go into our discussion except to say that while Ruwe made some valid points, as is the case with such tirades, the strength of the argument was lost in over generalization. Read Atala below and let's discuss in the comments. Are African intellectuals lazy, or are they indifferent and satiated by personal comfort? Do you consider yourself an intellectual, do you see yourself in Ruwe's article? What of Atala's, of how much use has been your schooling to your life goals so far?

Atala Writes - Notes from the Road Trip (2)

Happy weekend everyone, hope the work days went well? Thanks to everyone who contributed to the discussion on Immigration, I appreciated all the different viewpoints. And now Atala's notes continue, please read the first part HERE and leave comments o! LOL...

Atala Writes - Notes from the Road Trip (1)

Did I tell you guys that Atala wanted to share some notes about our trip? This is not a narrative, just short bytes that stuck with him. Enjoy...

- We left Seattle on Saturday morning around 8am and what a difference mountains make. As soon as we crossed the Cascades, it was goodbye woodland and wetness... hello scrub and sunshine. The reduced vegetation enabled us to see the wide blue sky touch the horizon, and at first, my reaction was 'wow'! But after a while, I began to miss the clouds in the sky, especially because the further south we went, the hotter it became.

A Note From Atala - The Significant Other BlogFest

Thanks to DL Hammons at Cruising Altitude

We’ve all heard the saying…behind every successful man or woman…there’s a person who supports them unconditionally. Nowhere is that more true than with us writers. Who else would put up with our 2 AM wake up calls to solicit opinions of a shiny new idea? Our whiplash inducing confidence swings? The hours upon hours in front of the computer monitor, with nary a grunt or nod when they attempt to disrupt our creative flow? The compulsive need to check email on our Smartphone’s for that reply we’ve been waiting so anxiously for? Or reading the fifty-seventh revision of our first chapter?

It takes a special person to put up with writers idiosyncrasies…and we believe its time they had their say! Although our first choice would be to have your significant other post their own material, it is acceptable to interview them and post those responses. The only catch is that you must [start with] these three questions.

1. What food or drink is guaranteed to return your loved one to a good mood, even after a bad day writing?
2. What one thing would you change about your others writing habits?
3. How hard is it to sit by and watch someone you care for struggle to attain a dream...knowing there's very little you can do to help?

Hear it from my one and ONLY! :) I love you too darling...

1 - My SO's moods aren't really driven by food or drink - usually, it's enough for her to step away from writing for a while to regain her good humour. However, a good dollop of ice cream (especially if it's coffee-flavoured) wouldn't go amiss in helping the restoration of that good humour.

2 - I'd like her to accept that there comes a time in a story's life when it is good enough, and further edits (especially ones which could accidentally introduce typos) are really just gilding the lily. I do understand that perspective keeps on changing, and what seemed great a few months back may not be so good now - but writers should also remember that they don't just write for themsleves, but also for others (e.g. impatient editors, expectant readers, etc.)

3 - I'm actually very active in supporting my SO's aspirations, so I'm not sure how to answer this question. However, if I was in this position, I'd try to be creative in figuring out ways I could help, even though the help might not be directly related to her dreams. I might also play the role of the 'mirror' - getting her to evaluate where she was in her struggle, so that she might consider other options.

4 - In any event, I find it very easy to be supportive of my wife, because it's clear to me that she gets a great deal of enjoyment and fulfilment from her writing. So loving her as I do, I want to do as much as I can to in helping her making the experience as fulfilling for her as it possibly can be.

5 - And it also helps that like her, I'm an avid reader, and so I'm very keen to know what she's written, and I can cast a critical eye with suggestions and comments. Sometimes, it can be a bit of a pain, especially when she feels that her work is not yet ready for viewing - there are times I've contemplated sneaking out of bed to steal a sneak preview!

Must it be called Love?

Continuing on the theme of love for the season of February, I have some questions to consider. There are some people that do not like love and some that say that they do not know what love is. Others say that since there is no definition, they cannot believe in it and so it may not be possible for such people to feel it.

Are you one of such people? Will you or did you tell your partner? Have you ever been a relationship with one of such people? Did they tell you? What was your stance, to leave or to remain? Must the other person define and name their feelings as love before you enter or go further in a relationship? Read this story by Atala and tell me what you think.

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Tunde and Kemi are a young couple who live in a suburb of Lagos. He works for an accounting firm; she teaches at a nearby secondary school. They have two children, a boy and a girl - both still toddlers.

Tunde is what some might describe as the 'perfect husband'; he is attentive, sensitive, and unselfish. He cheers Kemi up when she has had a frustrating day at work; he helps her and supports her in whatever she does, whether it's chores around the house or whether it's projects that she embarks on at their local church.

But Tunde does not have any special feelings in his heart for Kemi. He definitely considers her a good friend, and he is glad to have her in his life - but he does not feel any different towards her than he would feel for any of his other female friends.

He told this to Kemi last year, while she was pregnant for baby Deji, and it caused a major crisis. He said that he thought that what he had felt before their marriage was love, but he had slowly realised that this wasn't the case, and he wanted to be honest with her. She felt hurt - how could he enter a marriage without having any special feelings towards her? But he said he's not sure he's capable of such feelings, and he would understand if she walked away.

In the end, Kemi stayed, because when she weighed the pros and cons, Tunde really had lots of good qualities which she knew were hard to find in a man. They had been married almost three years now, she was used to being a team, especially when she sees how good he has been to herself and their children.

But sometimes, she looks at him and she wishes that he could feel the same passionate love towards her that she has for him. And she worries that one day, he will get up and walk out of their marriage, since he isn't bound to it by the same love that she is...