Loving the one who loves you back

Sympathy love or not?

This is a situation that has always intrigued me especially since I have found myself in that scenario a couple of times. You meet a guy and you are friends for a while, and then you notice that he wants to be more than "just friends". This is the typical nice guy, he won't rush to jump your bones, or to define a romantic relationship. He only showers you with attention and affection. You name and he will do it, or has already done it. What will he not do? When I was in Uni, a guy said he would do anything.

"Anything?" I asked.

"Yes," he said.

Muammar Gaddafi dead, Backyard Crew wins

Muammar Gaddaffi's death is being widely reported in the media, and based on some self-righteous comments on Facebook, I updated,

"No matter how much of a monster Gadhafi was, Libya was better under him in the last 30 years than Nigeria with our mixed military democracy. The people who killed him are the same people killing Nigerians and other black Africans with reckless abandon. Why should any Nigerian or African for that matter be happy about his death?"

Why are people more rude and mean online?

It seems that once people get on the internet, they shed off most of their compassion, or what some call the human milk of kindness, and suddenly become bulling monsters. I have read some scathing and hurtful comments on this blog and others that I just said to myself, this person would never say this to someone's face. The few times they were on my blog, I simply clicked delete. The culprits are usually anonymous. So, I'm sorry to those Wordpress bloggers who keep asking if I can allow anonymous or Name/URL commenting, please use OPEN_ID.

The thing I've noticed is that when people have to put a name to their comments, it suddenly makes them more circumspect. I know that opening up comments to such anonymous people can make a blog a very interesting place as disagreements turn to free-for-all controversy-fests. But honestly, I dislike confrontations and can do without such bullies in my space.

Cancer Awareness Month - Raising Funds for Cancer Patients

October is my birthday month (countdown to 26th, yay!) and is also usually the Cancer Awareness Month. To commemorate those who have passed from cancer, and those who still suffer, I was moved to feature a campaign to raise funds for cancer patients in Nigeria. 

ANNOUNCING 1K4CANCER

Wana Udobang is collaborating with Sebeccly Cancer Care and Support Center (SCC) with the goal of raising funds for women diagnosed with breast cancer. 1K4Cancer stands for each donor giving a minimum of one thousand naira to the campaign.

1K4Cancer arises from the dire need to assist breast cancer patients who cannot afford treatment. The vision is that if one thousand people donate one thousand naira each, 1K4Cancer will successfully raise one million naira for breast cancer patients. The funds will go towards chemotherapy and radiotherapy treatment for a few women who are currently under the care of SCC.

Blowing my Trumpet - 10 things I like about me

We need to credit ourselves more and know that we are full of "good stuff". So says Aloted of Purpose Driven Blog who thinks most of us rarely blow our trumpet due to social conditioning. I agree with her, and when she listed her own positive 10 things and threw open the floor, I decided to get on it. Watch out, cos I'll be tagging...

1. I can be very playful, and I like giving free reign to the child within me. It makes me feel very carefree, like going on the swings in a playground. I used to be a tomboy too, so don't be surprised if you see me climbing a tree. Thank God I'm still athletic enough to pull that off.

2. I find it very easy to say I'm sorry and mean it. Growing up I was very stubborn but with age, luckily, came some self awareness and maturity.

3. I don't take myself or things too seriously, I have learnt to let go and let God in most cases. If you insult me, I can even laugh. I might vex for a few minutes and then I brush it off my shoulders. Life is too short, abeg.

Faithfulness in Relationships - How possible?

Update: One of the comments raises an interesting angle. Should one partner's faithfulness be dependent on the actions/inactions of the other?

"Faithfulness isn't a trait you can sit back and expect your partner to just have. e.g. If I want to be the only one my partner has intimate conversations with, I need to let her know that. My role would be to always be available to her for that. If she goes off and has intimate conversations with someone else, i'd say she has been unfaithful. If I didnt make myself readily available, I can't totally blame her." - Think-about-it
____________

We've read about how Dunni was broken-hearted by her former boyfriend's infidelity. In fact, she caught him with another woman almost pants down after they'd been dating for two years. In his defense, he said he wasn't the monogamous type of guy and asked her to understand. So the question is, how possible is it for people to remain faithful to one person in a long-term relationship?

Some more pictures from Las Vegas

So, I was going through my Blackberry the other day and discovered so many pictures I had almost forgotten. During our road trip in the summer, my camera battery went off a few times and my BB had to do backup. Because I had like a gazillion pictures on the camera, I forgot these ones. They're not the best quality, and it seems I'm yet to figure out how to save the flipped ones, but hey...enjoy!

Arriving at our hotel

FAQs - Self-Publishing and Book Publicity

Hey Myne,

I know someone who is self-publishing a novel and I was wondering if you have any advice for her? I would classify her book as "teen fluff", and I mean that in the nicest way possible. Its not the same demographic as your work, but I thought it might be helpful to hear from you since you have had such success with your work.

Ideas, tips, concerns? Would you like a copy of the book to read over and offer suggestions? She is all ears.I told her I would reach out to you to see if you would be able to talk with/to her.

Thanks!

Loving what you do - RIP Steve Jobs

"I'm convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did." - Steve Jobs 

I saw that quote soon after I found out that the Apple co-founder and former CEO was dead. Atala was the one that gave me the news, and also showed me the quote on Stack Overflow, one of his favorite websites. We did the rest of the rounds together, Slashdot, Mashable, Huffington Post, they were all reporting on his death. I was also all over the news on TV. Another quote caught my eye on Politico.com sending me on a search for Jobs 2005 commencement speech at Stanford, and I was really touched. He was just 56. May his soul rest in peace.

I'm always inspired by people who follow their dream, and who pursue it, and make a good example of it. Steve Jobs is one of those people. I'm not a big fan of Apple products, and I only used Mac in the school library. I had an ipod once but I gave it away when I got a phone that was an mp3 player. The biggest way that Steve Jobs touched my life was through his animation company Pixar, and the movies they created.

Do men actually resent women who earn more money?

So yesterday on my WIP, we read about Dunni being an intelligent, high earning women. In her experience, men resent such women, and next week, you'll be reading further details.
There have also been recent commentary in the media on this topic. Patti Stanger, the Millionaire Matchmaker was reported on the Huffington Post as saying;

"[Men] like [smart women] after marriage. They don't like them before they are married. You got to dumb it down a little because men are not that bright."

Amara, a Nigerian columnist for PM News wrote in an article titled "Reasons you're not married";

Another reason is that with your good job and salary, they [men] are even afraid to come near you as they wouldn’t want to be turned down.