How Old is Too Young to Get Married?

Often, we focus on the upper age limits of getting married but what about the lower limits? Some months ago, it was reported that 19 years old Miley Cyrus had become engaged to Liam Hemsworth, her off-and-on boyfriend of three years. Some of the chatter over the engagement was over her age. Her fiance is not that much older, he's 22. A lot of commentators felt they were just too young, and Miley being a teenager was the key to their argument.

How to Ensure Other Women Know Your Man is Married

Malaysia and Jannero Pargo

I read about this wedding ring that imprints married on a man's finger yesterday and I wanted to know who came up with the idea. It turns out that it was Basketball Wives LA star, Malaysia Pargo who created it. For her, it was a new way to ensure that one's husband is on lock-down - the argument being that when other women see the married brand, they will keep away from him. If you ask me, any woman that even thinks about this ring as a solution to their husband's philandering should know the battle is lost already.

Why Are Some Nigerian Marriages Such a Farce?

We were watching Arnold Schwarznegger on 60minutes and he was talking about the breakup of his marriage and how he regretted his actions. One of us, an older Nigerian woman, was not aware of the story so I brought her up to date. She was surprised that Arnold's wife had asked for a divorce, and felt she shouldn't have. For her, a child outside the marriage was not reason enough for divorce. In the discussion, I came away with the following insight about Nigerian marriages.

On Marriage - Loving Your Man Anyway

 [You may want to skip this post if you are finicky, some grossity (new word) ahead]

Now, I'm not one for dwelling on the differences between genders in terms of behavior, personality, or expected roles, but there are some ways I agree that men in general differ from women. There was this book I read in university, my then roommate was in the must-to-marry before I graduate mode, and I was in the read-everything-I-find mode. One point stuck with me, it was a chapter under the heading - You Marry A Man.

Should Husbands Pay Wives For Managing The Home?

This is one question that keeps cropping up again and again. I was single when I read something along the same lines after an American survey some years ago and now I'm reading it as a housewife. This time, the Union Women and Child Development Ministry in India is preparing a draft Bill that would entitle housewives a monthly income from their husbands. Of course, all the debaters are out again in force.

Bimbo Akintola on Relationships, Marriage, Children

Sometimes you see someone who has decided to make up her own mind on relationship issues, who is happy with where she is and not afraid to tell it. Bimbo Akintola seems to be one of those people. Irrespective of the general consensus that all single women need to find a man ASAP, Bimbo states clearly in the interview below that she is doing OK on her own for now.

What's the most stupid thing you did for Love?

Ben Affleck has complained that 2003 was the worst year of his life. That was the year he dated JLo - as the younger, less successful man - appeared in her music video (Jenny From The Block), and made Gigli with her, a movie which got stinking reviews and also tanked at the box office. At least he can say that now, they have both moved on - married other people, with children, and still on top of their games.

More Twitter Advice on Marriage and Relationships

"The rate at which marriages/relationships collapse now is assuming a social symbol status in our society." Ruggedman, a musician in Nigeria started his marriage tips on Twitter this way, and makes me believe this is going to become a trend. I think he means social status symbol, and if that is so, would answer the question in my IK'sTipsonGettingAMan post. I think Ruggedman nails it that it is not getting married that is the problem, but having a marriage that works.

IK Osakioduwa's #TipsTo GettingAMan - Really?

IK Osakioduwa is a radio show host at Rhythm 93.7 and he is married with two children. He tweeted yesterday that he was vexing on his show, trying to help ladies find guys. Well, he came up with numbered tweets with the hashtag #IksTipsToGettingAMan on Twitter. I saw some discussion around the tips on my timeline and decided to go to his profile and check out all the tips.

25 Life Tips Young Men Need to Know

1. It’s harder to take a punch than to throw one.

2. Find the people who make you laugh and follow them around like a golden retriever. Laughing is like a vitamin. You can never get enough of it.

3. A guy who hugs a lot is comfortable in his own skin.

4. Read poetry.

Unrealistic Expectations can kill Relationships by Huntly Anabs

Early this morning, I was engaged in a conversation with a friend of mine and our discussion left me thinking about the many battles people fight on the inside that we have no knowledge of. Behind every face is a struggling human spirit. Sometimes the struggle is rooted in physical pain or disease or difficult finances. Sometimes it grows out of wounded relationships. My friend and I were discussing the kind of demands we individuals place on the people in our lives, and how unrealistic some of them are.

Family Contingency Plans - Accounts and Wills

I'll share a personal story. Some of you may know that our trip to Nigeria was mostly for my father in law's burial. My FIL was a lawyer and had had a Will. In it, he had described where and how he wanted to be buried. My MIL and his sons knew this, and this made the period of his passing as well as the plans for his funeral relatively fuss-free.

Dear Myne - My Wife's Stubbornness is Killing my Love

Dear Myne, I read the story below in a newspaper which is just like mine and wanted to hear your reader's responses. I don't want to share my exact details since I don't want to be recognized, but the summary like in the story below is that my wife cannot cook, she doesn't want to learn, and in addition to refusing to start a family after what we agreed before marriage, I am almost fed up. While I don't want to divorce, how can we get over her stubbornness?

Ways To Keep Love Alive by Sacha Crouch

The quality of our relationships is a reflection of our ability to give and receive love. When we first enter a new relationship we give our love freely, choosing to focus on the positives of our new found mate. Yet over time, our love becomes conditional, depends on our mood and focuses around keeping count of what our partner does for us. How can this be a recipe for great love to last a lifetime?

Dear Myne - My Husband is Unfaithful and not Repentant

Why is it that it's generally difficult for men to say they are sorry for an action that is so glaring that they erred in. How do you advise a woman to react when her husband called her gsm number thinking it is his girl friend's number? And then to be claiming that he did it intentionally because he has a free credit.

Does Marriage Confer Special Relationship Wisdom?

When I tell people that I write romance novels or that I blog mostly about issues in relationships, the next question from some of them is whether I'm married and for how long. I am sometimes tempted to answer in the negative to hear what they will say, but the replies when I answer truthfully gives me a pretty good idea.

What Makes a Woman a Good Wife?

Obviously, I am not a Perfect Wife. Yeah, Obviously. I won't hide behind that generalist phrase. 'None of us is perfect'. The truth is that I am not perfect, not as a person and not as a wife. A lot of us women seem to think being a wife comes naturally. Maybe it does for some women, but not for me.

When I was much younger, I assumed I would never get married. I just knew I would make a terrible wife. It wasn't because I didn't like marriage, but as I understood it as an institution, and myself as a person, it just didn't suit me. I feared I would make a terrible wife for some hapless man and drive him crazy. I was too quirky, and I was scared of sharing the passionate, vulnerable part of me with a stranger.

Six out of Ten women in Nigeria are Unfaithful?

I don't know what to say to this news which has been floating around recently. The Durex Sexual Well-being Global Survey conducted by the condom manufacturer, interviewed 26,000 people in 26 countries and ranked Nigerian women as the most unfaithful in the world.

Daily Times reports  that "the top two countries with cheating women are Nigeria, with 62 percent, and Thailand, 59 percent. 39 percent of Malaysian women also confessed to having betrayed their partners. Russian women came fourth at 33 percent while Singaporeans are fifth at 19 percent." From a link I got in the comments, I went to the Durex survey methodology page where I found the following information.

Faithfulness in Relationships - How possible?

Update: One of the comments raises an interesting angle. Should one partner's faithfulness be dependent on the actions/inactions of the other?

"Faithfulness isn't a trait you can sit back and expect your partner to just have. e.g. If I want to be the only one my partner has intimate conversations with, I need to let her know that. My role would be to always be available to her for that. If she goes off and has intimate conversations with someone else, i'd say she has been unfaithful. If I didnt make myself readily available, I can't totally blame her." - Think-about-it
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We've read about how Dunni was broken-hearted by her former boyfriend's infidelity. In fact, she caught him with another woman almost pants down after they'd been dating for two years. In his defense, he said he wasn't the monogamous type of guy and asked her to understand. So the question is, how possible is it for people to remain faithful to one person in a long-term relationship?

Debate Tuesday - Men are unemotional?

Or more rightly, Nigerian men are both unemotional and unromantic. Who says?

I had a discussion with a friend recently on writing romance set in Nigeria and she believes it is highly unrealistic. I thought it was because of the western/African dichotomy in romance where a few people I met during my readings mentioned that most Nigerians find it hard to say I love you and would rarely give flowers and such. Now that I understand, even though I think even the gap is lessening as more and more imbibe the foreign gestures through movies, books, education abroad, dating other races, etc.

But where exactly does it come from this "Nigerian men are unemotional?" Is it from the culture and upbringing or what? Does being unemotional mean they feel nothing for the women they're with or they hide it and prefer not to voice it out? Also we should be bear in mind that emotions are not just about love and affection, anger is also an emotion. How come our men are comfortable showing that side of them to the extent of Domestic Violence but find it hard to be more sensitive when it comes to relationships? Some male reviewers of AHTM have found Edward too emotional and soft, hear one..

...I do wonder why a tough-minded Edward, who had the world at his feet, was sort of soft. It was easy for any tough-minded man like Edward to say, ‘I love you’ even if it was a lie, just to establish a one night affair with any lady. It was easy for a tough-minded man like Edward to relieve himself with prostitutes … But Whitman stigmatized her Edward with a weakness which was rare. Whitman’s tough-minded Edward couldn’t double-date neither could he raise a voice against Gladys. SOURCE

So is that our idea of Nigerian men; brutish, unfaithful and harsh to their women?

Please share your thoughts.