How Learning to Compromise Has Helped Me Have a Happier Marriage

By Nkem Akinsoto

Atala and I had a shortish and mostly online relationship before getting married, as some of you may already know. He was in the United States and I was in Edinburgh, and he visited only 3 times before we got married after dating for just about 6 months. I want to add that before then we'd known each other for over a year online, and had corresponded as friends for about 6 months before we started dating. But that may not have much to do with this post I'm writing, or does it?

After getting married, we soon found out that marriage can be very complicated. I've heard people who say the first year of marriage is the toughest, however, ours was mostly filled with happy moments, and added to the happiness we both already had in each other, separately and together. In that first year, having date nights at home all the time, and going out regularly was one handy trick I used :)

On Sofia Vergara & Ex Nick Loeb's Bitter Feud Over Frozen Embryos - My Take

By Nkem Akinsoto

Nick Loeb and actress Sofia Vergara between 2012 and May 2014, when the couple split. Since then, Sofia has moved on, and is now engaged to fellow actor Joe Manganiello. But her past is coming back to make headlines as she and her ex battle over frozen embryos they made in planning a family while still engaged in 2013.

Sofia and Nick were using IVF to grow their family and had completed the first part successfully, which entailed combining her eggs and his sperm into female embryos in preparation to getting either Sofia or a surrogate pregnant. However, the couple split before their plans could end in pregnancy and a baby.

Getting Recognition For Blogging And A Picture For Those Who Want to See Me :)

So I stared blogging back in 2009 as a romantic fiction writer, and for a couple of years, I focused on hyping my books and that of other guest authors. By 2011, I started blogging for money but remained in the romance niche, with topics on relationships and personal stories.

In 2013, there were certain incidents that made me dramatically scale back on personal stories, and around the same time, I decided to increase my earnings from blogging. After reaching out to a few people that I felt could help me build a platform niche in relationships, I found no interest and the only option seemed to be entertainment and news reporting.

How Do You Express Love To Your Soul Mate?

by Nkem Akinsoto

I believe in soul mates because I believe I found mine and married him. But when I say soul mate I'm not saying that Atala is a knight in shining armor or that I won't be able to live without him, but Atala is the love of my life and I don't know that there could be any like him for me.

I am not perfect, not by a long shot, but he understands me and accepts me, flaws, mistakes, imperfections and all. He is also not perfect, but he is amazing, awesome, and understanding in all the ways I need him to be.

We are both complete but we choose each day to complement and compliment each other. He brings out in me a sweet and beautiful heart, making me thankful to have him in my life. And I have no doubt in my mind that it is the same for him.

Do You Remember Your Firsts With Your Partner?

By Nkem Akinsoto

The online and long distance beginnings of my relationship with Atala is legend by now [Read Here], but suffice to say, we met for the first time already having deep feelings for each other which we refused to call love, and we lived thousands of miles and continents apart.

How Celebrating Wedding Anniversaries Has Made Our Marriage Stronger

By Nkem Akinsoto

Atala and I celebrated our fifth wedding anniversary on Valentine's day back in February. It was a couple of weeks after I returned from my 3months stint in Nigeria, and I remember leaving some threads hanging loose and a few people asking me to extend my stay for a couple more weeks so I could tie them all up neatly before returning to the United States. I told them plainly, not gonna happen. I care a lot about succeeding in my business and will make allowances on how it would affect my time with Atala and thus our relationship, but my wedding anniversary is very important to me.

Why You Should Not Call Your Daughter Bossy But a Boss Lady

By Nkem Akinsoto

Yesterday, there was the news that the Girl Scouts with support from Sheryl Sandberg, COO of Facebook, wants to ban the word bossy, used as a perjorative against little outspoken girls who begin to show leadership qualities early in life. A discussion with Atala took me down memory lane.

My Truth on Valentine's Day as Atala and I Celebrated 5 Years of Marriage

I am a romantic, but I never thought marriage was easy, not even before I was married. When people say they were misled by romance novels into thinking relationships are a fairy tale, I say in mind, really? I've read thousands of romance novels and never had that delusion.

My Confession On Dencia's Whitenicious And Gluthathione - I Have Used Skin Toning Creams Too

I've been meaning to write this post for almost a month now, since the soaring popularity of Glathathione hit the news. Now I'm reading news that Dencia's whitenicious skin care line has just sold out within one day of being launched. It could be a marketing gimmick, but being here in Lagos, it's not hard to see that a lot of girls are actually crazy about lightening up their complexion.

My Birthday Weekend - A Football Game with Seattle Sounders and LA Galaxy

By Nkem Akinsoto

Like I said earlier, this was a very busy weekend for me, but I'm beginning to get back to myself now, lol. On Saturday, I went out for a ladies night, and we went Karaoke! Pictures coming since I have to get permissions from the other ladies. On Sunday, Atala and I went for a soccer/football match and it was a great night out. Both teams played well, and though we were hoping our Sounders would prevail, it ended in a draw.

It's My Birthday and I am Ever Grateful!

It's funny, I was speaking with my sister last month on her birthday and how the years are flying by. Today, as I mark another year added to my life, I thank God for bringing me this far. The past few years have been a mixed bag, I've been happier than I've ever been, and I've been sadder than ever too, but in all things, I remain grateful and content, knowing it is a journey and I'm still on it.

We Take a Mini Vacation - Road Trip From the West to East Across the Cascades

To say a proper good bye to summer which leaves early around these parts, Tola and I decided to have a short road trip over the weekend to the east of the Cascade Mountains which kind of divides Washington state in half.

Atala and I Featured on MSN Living - Real Husbands: What I Love About My Wife

Some of you may remember this post, 15 Things I Love About My Nigerian Wife, it is still one of the most appreciated posts on RML. I was contacted by an MSN writer who saw and loved the post and she wanted to connect to Atala and feature him, [and us] on a slideshow she was preparing to acknowledge husbands who appreciate their wives. I tabled it to Atala and he said Yes! LOL...

Throw Back Thurday - Bringing the Sexy

This was about 5 years ago. I was already living in the UK and traveled to Nigeria for vacation. Like someone said in the last tbt post, my youngest sister who had just entered university then said, Myne, you're always very serious and formal. I know you're older than me, bla...bla...bla... but come let me show you how to let your hair down."

I already had the dress, which I often wore as a top to tights or jeans, the shoes, accessory and the hair. But she provided the makeup and put it all together. At the photographer's studio, she provided moral support as the guy reeled out model instructions - "head to the side, strut it, flaunt it, head up, hands bent, etc."

I love you sis, and I can honestly say, this was the picture that got Atala across seven oceans and seas to come get me. #trueword. Since then, I know it's quite important to sometimes not be so grown up and serious. You can also either be young and carefree, or you can bring the sexy!

Positive Social Spaces

I want to use this opportunity to address some of the comments on the Chimamanda post. That post was not meant to offend anyone, but to correct the impression some people got from wrong blogs and sources about what she said the first time around. On this post, a comment actually left a link to one of such wrong information blogs .

It was unfortunate that the comments became embroiled in that which divide us. Maybe I should generally moderate comments on this blog, or have stopped the comments on that post after I saw the way it was going, but I couldn't have guessed how it would end. To anyone who was insulted or offended, I apologize. Adura Ojo, I'm glad to hear you've calmed down, this is for you too.

I may be a hypocrite, but I can never hate myself. Am I perfect? Far from it. Do I try to live a more healthy lifestyle, I do try, but I am also real and true to myself. I eat ice cream and processed foods. I know cell phones and microwaves are radioactive, but I still use them. And yes, I know relaxers may be linked to hair and general health issues, but it is my choice to use them, under advise, at this time.

Happy Birthday to My Wonderful Father

My family in Nigeria just finished celebrating my daddy's 80th birthday. It is also my sister's birthday who shares the same birth month as my Dad. I miss him and all of them so much today especially. My dad is just the absolute best Dad. Of course with my bone-head, we had our issues, but I knew he was always there, and that helped make me the woman I am today.

My daddy had his dreams for me, but at the end of the day, he was also the sort of father that allowed you to live your life. I thank God for the amazing years He's given you so far and I pray for even more happy, healthy, and fulflilled years. Amen. Thank you, Daddy, and happy birthday.

15 Things I Love About My Nigerian Husband

By Nkem Akinsoto

I didn't set out to marry a Nigerian man. It was a preference, but after I moved to the UK, I knew it was up in the air. In Edinburgh where I lived, Nigerian men were less than 5 percent of the entire male population. However, for most of my years there, my primary social group were the other Nigerians in the area, so of the people I met, Nigerian men were up to 30 percent.

Needless to say, I socialized with a lot of non-Nigerians and actually dated outside the Nationality, and even the race for a while. I confess that I had different measures for each category of people I dated or seriously considered for a romantic, and possibly long term relationship.

For instance, if the guy was British, it was less likely that speaking good English would be one of his weak points. But for my Nigerian brothers, especially if they were not students like I was, it could be an issue. Are you surprised a good command of English was among my requirements, wait till you hear the rest :)

A 'Man of God' Should Not Own a Private Jet

By Nkem Akinsoto

I do not like controversies on religion, faith or belief, but sometimes the brand of Pentecostal Christianity in Nigeria breaks my heart. This sentence was my comment on one of the first posts, Sykik's Religion that talked about this issue. I don't mean we shouldn't blog or talk about it, just that we shouldn't quarrel with each other which I see some commenters on some blogs doing.

Of course it becomes more pertinent if one has the ears of one of these pastors, that would be excellent so the discussion can be more directed. I said essentially the same when I first saw the video above on Adura Ojo's Let's talk about it. I was not too surprised by the perspectives in the video, they were as split as I expected.

In reply to my wish that a so-called man of God will speak on what he believes, Prism reminded me that Pastor Tunde Bakare has. He actually condemned it, but some may accuse him of poverty or jealousy since he doesn't have one. I want to hear from those who have bought these jets or who accepted the gifts - talk about chop and clean mouth.

Doing Things Together as a Couple

By Nkem Akinsoto

One of the advice given to new couples is to do things together, and even where they have busy schedules, they are encouraged to make time to spend together. When Atala and I got married, he was living in the United States and as we agreed, I had rounded off my stay of three years in the UK in plans to move continents. Luckily, I was able to get my US visa and join him about a month later.

When I arrived, it was March, and if you've heard of Seattle, you've probably heard wet, cloudy, or evergreen in the same sentence. Spring in Seattle is the poster child for dull and depressing weather and that was when I arrived. Add to that fact, I had no job at first and also did not have an American driving license. You can measure my desire to get time outside of the house as well as spend time with my brand new husband.

For the Love of High Heeled Shoes

By Nkem Akinsoto

When it comes to shoes, high heels are my weakness. For someone who shops as little as she can get away with, I find my shoe collection embarrassing sometimes, and quite a number of them are high heel shoes, and I mean HIGH HEEL. As in six inches or more.

The best part about high heels for me is how elegant and sexy they make you feel. Your walk changes, and your humdrum figure stick out in all the right places. High heel stilettos will even completely transform any casual clothes one may be wearing.

Even a jeans and T-shirt will look all tushed up when you jazz it up with a pair of stilettos or good pumps. Your feet may be killing you and your toes could developing a million and one corns and bunions, but the compliments will keep you smiling wide.