Do bad girls really get all the guys?

"Why do millions of smart, savvy, successful men fall helplessly in love with women who are destined to break their hearts? Who are these Bad Girls, poised to pounce on the next nice guy just waiting to become their prey? While Bad Girls have different strategies for manipulating nice guys, they share certain alluring traits. Irresistibly exciting, clever, flirtatious, and seductive, they make their man feel like the sexiest, most invincible stud on the planet! They take what they want---money, sex, drugs, or other objects of desire---and leave these unsuspecting men in the dust."

Above is from the description of one of the books below by Dr Carole Lieberman on lessons other women can learn from Bad girls. There are even more books saying the same thing. But before we go into all that, is it true that they really get all the guys?

Weekend Pictures - US Space and Rocket Center, Alabama

Some of you might know that I have some family in Alabama, we visited them last a couple of years ago and last month we went down south again to catch up. My older nephew wanted to see the space center and we decided to take him and it was also an opportunity for us to see the place. We were planning to go to the Seattle Flight Museum after one of the decommissioned shuttles from NASA got there but that did not happen. So seeing the hefty machines in Huntsville was quite a treat.

Enjoy the pictures and have a great weekend. Mwah!

Happy Thanksgiving and my Meat Pie Recipe

HAPPY THANKSGIVING to everyone, especially those in America. I made some Meat Pie yesterday for Dinner and I want to share the recipe with you this thanksgiving.

Ingredients

*Dough - Plain Flour – 1 Kg, Margarine – 500g, Salt – 2 pinches, Dry spices - 2 pinches, Cold Water - a quarter cup

*Filling - 500g of minced meat, 1 medium-sized onion, 2 medium-sized tomatoes, Seasoning - 2 Maggi / Knorr cubes and 1 teaspoon of mixed spices, Cold water – 1 cup

*1 egg yolk

How to Recognize a Player?

Babs from my upcoming manuscript has got me thinking of players. But funny thing was, when I typed "who's a player" on search, it threw up links to players in sports, including wiki for Most Valuable Player. Of course, I meant a player in the dating game. Isn't it funny how life and society rewards people who play the best game, those who do whatever it takes to win. In dating however, many different opinions abound.

Some people say dating is a game, and so they need to play their best game, or play by the rules. Others say dating should only be a precursor to a steady relationship, like a long-term romance or marriage, and so no hanky-panky should be allowed. Players, and there are both male and female, definitely excel at hanky-panky, and in dating, some of them are as follows;

- They usually don't pick or answer their phone in the presence of their current partner.
- They usually do not like PDA, or may blow hot and cold depending on who's looking. The male player wants to show off to his mates, but not when other girls are around. Same with the girl.
- The above also goes with how they answer your phone, sometimes with all the sweet words, and other times, can't wait to get off your phone with no "I love you" or goodbye.

Networking - 9jamom, DuduLove, FabAfriq and Waka-About

Do you remember 9jamom? They recently had a giveaway to their top ten fans with prizes including Jewelry Sets, Ankara Print Gele, and 9jamom-branded Tote Bags and T-shirts. I managed to snag the jewelry set pictured left which arrived some weeks ago and looks awesome. It is  courtesy of Afrimart, and you can check out their Facebook page for more gorgeous jewelry designs.

On another note, Dudunorth.com is an initiative by a blogger and is solely focused on Nigerian talent in Canada. It is a resource for helping locate needs such as restaurants, salons etc, as well as showcasing upcoming  events in Canada.. Dudunorth aims to bring the Nigerian community to one spot where they can share jokes, reminisce e.t.c. There is also a special section where upcoming weddings would be showcased as well as the "how we met stories".

Marrying your Baby Daddy - when there's someone else

The doors opened and “Here Comes the Bride” tinkled from the piano. My dada and I started the customary slow-walk up the aisle. When we had gotten close enough, my dada reached out and gave me a hug and I tried to hold on for as long as I could. He gently disengaged himself and made to leave but I held on tight to his hand. He smiled at me. He had sympathy in his eyes. He understood but then, he discreetly rubbed the bulge that was my tummy and gave me a gentle stare.

I let go of his hand. At that point, it dawned on me that it was not just his hand I let go of. I had let go of part of me, his protection and cover, his name, my hometown, part of my tie to him…….I was leaving my father’s house to be in my husband’s! I stood rooted to the spot for about a minute till I heard my momma clear her throat. I smiled and thought, “I trust my momma to help put things in perspective”. I turned to climb the stairs to where Ranti, my husband-to-be was patiently waiting. My husband-to-be?! Not really. It was more like my baby papa who I am going to spend the rest of my life with.

Beyonce's I was Here - Leaving footprints on the sands of time

It's buzzing all over the news how Beyonce revealed clips of her previously secret wedding in her new video for I Was Here. Of course, the highlight is the wedding gown which is shown twice, front and back views (see the video the cut). For me though, the lyrics are more important. I've always believed it is good to have models and to say it when someone inspires me, and I confess Beyonce does, through some of her songs, and even sometimes in her life.

This song contains one of the thoughts that drive how I live my life. It's not all about me, there has to be a purpose for which I'm here that is bigger than what I want or what will make me happy. I ask myself, what about other people? How can I affect their lives, how can I make a difference? For me, that is the best perk of being a writer - creating something, and having the opportunity through my words, to reach out to so many other people. It's not about the money, nor about the fame, even as these can come in useful, but about viral ideas and influence. It's about sharing something you're passionate about, and having other people tap into it or benefit from it.

Getting to know you Blogfest

1. Name two [romantic suspense] authors who inspire you.

Nora Roberts and Francine Rivers. I love Nora R. for her versatility and longevity, as well as how prolific she has been. The fact that she uses a pen name in some of her writing, just like I do also means I have a special spot for her.

Francine is just such an awesomewriter, my best romance novel so far is Redeeming Love. The way she plumbs my emotions is almost second to none. She may be considered more inspirational romance than romantic suspense but her books do keep me on tenterhooks till I'm done.

The Twilight Saga - Breaking Dawn 1

The book was supposed to be for teenagers, but it has since moved beyond that. Now we have grown women, including myself taking sides on team Edward or Team Jacob, a fictional vampire and a werewolf. SMH @ Myself. Anyway, who's seeing it this weekend?

Playing Second Fiddle to your Man's Job

Read the following story and tell me if you think Vonny did the right thing. What would you do in her shoes?
____

I was feeling real good and was headed out to Beck's Lounge for a little hang time with my gals. As I strolled leisurely along Torres Avenue, someone bellowed my name. I turned and........Christ, I haven't seen this guy in months!

"Steeeeeve!" I screamed as we both ran to hug each other. We were still busy forming 'long lost love' when a car horn blared, forcing us off the middle of the road. Never mind the driver's cursing, Steve and I had a lot to catch up on. With my initial date temporarily forgotten, we headed to the closest eatery. I was still filling Steve in on 'what's new' when my three phones started buzzing all at once. With profuse apologies, I placated my gals and then agreed to come back to Steve in two hours.

The Son of your Father's Concubine - Seun Salami

One sweet morning, I opened my email to check for new messages and the first had the same subject as the title of this post. I must confess, my heart sped up. I blinked and opened the email. It began...

Hello Myne, Okay...just to be clear, the subject is actually the title of my new book and nothing else. It is a collection of eight short stories dealing with subjects like rape, faith, the search for identity/adventure, etc but they are all tragedies. Many people have said it's a very lovely title...

I stopped there and had a nice laugh. Lovely title ko, sweet title ni, lol. It is definitely a catchy title though. I was intrigued enough to reply the email and want to know the young man who sent it better. I'll let him take it away now...

My name is ‘Seun Salami, I was born in Ogun State, Nigeria. I have a BSc in Journalism from the Lagos State University and I just concluded an MSc in Mass Communication at the University of Lagos. I’m first a writer and then I also work as an editor at a publishing firm. I read a lot and my job also means that I get to read a lot of books before they are published. My debut collection of short stories has just been published; it’s called The Son of your Father’s Concubine.

Applicants for US Visa Lottery Reduce, Canada Introduces Super Visa

One of my relatives applied for the diversity visa lottery last year and got an email around March telling them they got through. A few weeks later, another email came, saying it was a computer failure and they're sorry, the person did not make it. Can you imagine? Anyone who knows how most Nigerians regard the visa lottery as a ticket to heaven will understand what a let down that is.

Anyway, I'm not surprised that as the application period just ended, the US State Department says only 8 million people applied. This is in comparison to last year's figure of 15 million. The Department is saying it is because it removed Bangladesh from the list, but they can go and tell that to the birds. Apart from the disappointment with the system failure, there is the situation of the economy in the United States.

Book Launch - String Bridge by Jessica Bell

Today is THE day to help Jessica Bell's debut, STRING BRIDGE, hit the bestseller list on Amazon, and receive the all-original soundtrack, Melody Hill: On the Other Side, written and performed by the author herself, for free! All you have to do is purchase the book today (paperback, or eBook), November 11th, and then email the receipt to: jessica.carmen.bell(at)gmail(dot)com. She will then email you a link to download the album at no extra cost!

To purchase the paperback: Amazon USA, Amazon UK

To purchase the eBook: Amazon USA, Amazon UK

To listen to samples of the soundtrack, visit iTunes.

Ashley Billasano - Social Media and Sucide

I read about the teenager who tweeted and committed suicide on  Bumight's post - For Ashley Billasano. A few months ago it was Motunrayo Ogbara's suicide all over the blogs and Twitter. This got me thinking. Is it that there is more suicide now, or simply that it is more reported in the media? More disturbing, why is it usually so closely related to social media? Is there a danger that people are copying others who they see or hear commit suicide on Twitter or Facebook?

Social media guru, Trey Pennington wrote on twitter: 'Sure am thankful for online friends who are real friends offline, too. Love you.' just hours before his death. In Seoul, a former DJ tweeted, “I’m going to commit suicide. To all of you, even those who shared the slightest friendship with me, I love you,” and went ahead to hang himself. Clementi, the guy who committed suicide after being outed said farewell via Facebook: "Jumping off the gw bridge sorry." Some of you may remember Simone black, whose friends did nothing to help after she posted on FB, 'Took all my pills, bye bye'.

How to improve your Alexa Blog Ranking

In one of the blogging tips posts I did titled "I want more Comments", Amb Caleb commented that he needed some tips on ranking. That got me thinking because I didn't have a ready answer for him. Don't get me wrong, it wasn't as if I hadn't heard of blog rankings before, but, I had never really done anything beyond that.

I had found out about both Pagerank and Alexa earlier this year on one of my blog improvement wanderings around the interwebs. Google Pagerank measures the reputation of your site based on the weight it gets via search engines and is ranked between 1 and 10, the bigger the better. Alexa ranks your place among other sites based on traffic and other indicators and the closer you are to 1, the better. Google.com ranks #1 and some blogs I checked were up to 25 million. When I first checked , I was happy with my Pagerank 4 (both nairaland and Bellanaija are also 4), and though a bit confused by the Alexa ranking of 1.5 million.

How not to discipline a child - Judge's daughter releases video

See, I was born and raised in Nigeria where corporal punishment is allowed from primary through secondary school and so I'm a bit immune to beatings (one major disadvantage of punishments). However, my parents only administered the cane when necessary, and there were never whips or belts flying around.

I recently read about how a daughter, now 23, released a video of her father, a judge, whipping her when she was 16. Mike's post on Sparing the Rod was fresh on my mind then and I couldn't help wincing as I watched the blows land on the girl. Why would parents do that to their own child? Why would you vent your anger on a child in the name of punishment? And the mother, telling the girl to take it like a grown woman. What grown woman would take that kind of beating from another person?

Weekend Pictures - Some thoughts from FaceBook

So Facebook recently seem to have put more weight in pictures and nowadays, I find my timeline strewn with some of these nuggets among others. Hope you like them too...

Wise words and yes, you are beautiful. Remember, there's sunshine after every storm. Sometimes, we actually need the rain to wash stuff away so we can see clearly. 

Nigerian Love - Romantic names in local languages

I got this email from one of my new readers and I wanted to share with you guys so you can also add your perspective. Now this post is not about inter-cultural relationships or the people in the email in particular, I just want us to share our experiences about Nigerian love and romance. How do we keep our relationships fresh and fun?

Hi Myne! I ran across your very interesting site as I was attempting to find a romantic name or phrase for my new friend, (insert igbo male name here). He is Nigerian... but I am already smitten. We both ... agreed to keep our courtship fresh and fun. i know nothing about African men...what offends them, their culture. Could u help me understand the culture a little better please?! Thanks in Advance...

House of Silk - A new Sherlock Holmes novel by Anthony Horowitz

I've always been a fan of Sherlock Holmes and devoured all the books I could find growing up. Some were scary, some were blander, but in all, the Holmes was thrilling, his eye for obervation, how he could join the dots, it almost seemed psychic :) I like to think some of it rubbed off on me and will usually joke that I have ESP, Atala calls it jumology, most things don't get past me, lol. Back to Sherlock Holmes, this new novel is not by Arthur Conan Doyle, the original author and creator of that classic detective. I still think I'll go for it...

What about you?

Signed, Hopelessly in Love - Lauri Kubuitsile (Guest Author)

Hi Everyone, my guest today is a writer I admire a lot. I found Lauri's blog, Thoughts from Botswana, sometime last year and have followed her since. I knew Lauri was a talented writer from her blog, and knowing she had 13 novels published was an encouragement and a challenge. Now I've read some of her short stories and a couple of her romance novels, it's confirmed. I'm in love! :)

5 Things You Didn’t Know About Lauri Kubuitsile

1. I’m a naturalised citizen of Botswana; I was born in the USA. Botswana doesn’t allow dual citizenship so I renounced my American citizenship more than 10 years ago.

NaNoWrimo 2011

"At midnight on November 1, armed only with their wits, the vague outline of a story, and a ridiculous deadline, more than 250,000 people around the world will set out to become novelists. Why? Because November is National Novel Writing Month, or NaNoWriMo, the world’s largest writing challenge and nonprofit literary crusade. Participants pledge to write 50,000 words in a month, starting from scratch and reaching “The End” by November 30." Nanowrimo 2011 Press Release

Yes, I have signed up again this year, and hope to finish the first round editing for A Fiery Love and also have the draft of a new book cranked out this November. I know I'm going to need lots of coffee, caramel ice-cream, and newly discovered yogurt smoothies to get through this. The other thing that keeps me going is your awesome support. Thank you all. I look forward to the coming week and to November. Mwah!