Is it True That A Guy Can and Will Cheat On His Woman Even When He Loves Her?

Since knowing I'll be apart from my husband for a while, some people have been talking. One of the topics that come up is cheating I've been thinking, what gives? I've heard the same argument before, about how men compartmentalize sex and love and it means different things to them. I'm still not convinced, some men make mistakes, we are human and that is permitted, some are just plain disrespectful of their partners.

Like Sarah Ofili and Ikechukwu, Will You Remain Best Friends With Your Ex-Fiance?

Sarah Ofili, model and beauty enterpreneur was a year older couple of days ago and celebrated it with a big club party. Pictures from the event showed that her ex-fiance, musician Ikechukwu was present at the happy. He actually went the extra length and left a birthday message for her on Instagram that said,

Patriarchy and Male Privilege - How Do These Impact Your Life?

Patriarchy (rule by fathers) is a social system in which the male is the primary authority figure central to social organization and the central roles of political leadership, moral authority, and control of property, and where fathers hold authority over women and children. It implies the institutions of male rule and privilege, and entails female subordination.

If Twerking is Egwu-Ukwu Reloaded, What Do You Think of the Oxford Dictionary Definition?

I got introduced to the word twerking just a few days before Miley Cyrus blew up the internet with her version of the dance at the MTV video music awards [see here]. Someone send me a video of a compilation of various people twerking and said, is that not Egwu-Ukwu (translate - Dance of the hips)?

Would You Give Your Husband a Pregnancy Pass?

Do I hear someone ask what a pregnancy pass was? If you're like me, you'll be very surprised. I thought it had to do with giving pregnant women time off or allowing them not to perform certain tasks, but that's so not it. The pregnancy pass came up on the new FOX TV show “The Real,” and it was Tamar Braxton who just had her baby some weeks ago that asked the question. So what is it?

The Wife Material Syndrome - Cooking, Cleaning, No Clubbing?

In this episode of her vlog series, Toke Makinwa talks about the "wife material syndrome" - women who think they have to behave in very specific ways before the man they're dating will propose. She uses the more common "domestic and homely" examples like cooking, cleaning, and no-clubbing which some Nigerian men and women seem to think is the be all and end all of what makes a woman a wife. Watch and share your thoughts.

Will You Accept For Your Man to Cheat Because You're Celibate?

So, Nick Carey and Mariah Carey Waited To Get Married Before Sex. Back in December, Nick Cannon told Howard Stern that he and Carey, 40, didn't have sex until they were officially married, candidly revealing on Stern's radio show, "It was Mariah Carey. If Mariah Carey gave a bad blowjob, I'm still going in ... Either way she's still one of the most beautiful women that ever walked the planet."

Does it Really Matter Who Makes The Money in a Relationship?

One of the judges of Britain's Got Talent, Alesha Dixon announced last week that she was pregnant with Nigerian boyfriend, Azuka Ononye's child. Before then, their relationship had been private, and it seems for good reason too. Azuka is a dancer who comes from humble beginnings and still earns less than his star girlfriend. Like a lot less.

Should You Tell If You Or A Friend Cheats?

We're watching Mistresses, a new Summer series on ABC which deals with married people being unfaithful or single people dating married people. My opinion is that when it comes to infidelity, the best thing is to determine not to do it at all. Don't cheat, flee all temptation and any or all appearances of cheating. If you think that fine guy or woman will get you to fall, then cut it sharply.

Is Marriage the only valid outcome of a Relationship?

Lola Omotayo, Peter Okoye's romantic partner and mother of his two children, recently granted an interview where she spoke about her relationship with him, and how it has been dating one half of one the music group for years now. After the interview, there was a storm of comments on blogs and social media, with a lot of people insisting she was making a mistake by not insisting on a ring.

Should Men Carry Their Girlfriend's or Wife's Handbag?

In the picture of Zoe Saldana with her new boyfriend [see here] he is carrying her handbag and that got me thinking. One often hears stories of men who say they would rather die than carry their wife's or girlfriend's handbag. Then there are those who don't really mind or wouldn't but fear being teased or thought to be less of a man if they did that.

A friend spoke of how after her husband helped her carry her handbag - she was carrying their baby and had to answer a phone call so handed hubby her coach tote - her own father who had also been there warned them seriously. She had to respectfully disagree with her dad, and her hubby spoke up too. The father was worried about gender roles, appearances of respect and what people would say. The couple on their part tried to emphasize that what mattered was their relationship and whether they understood each other. He was just helping.

Now, I don't want to make it seem like carrying a woman's handbag is like the ultimate of all symbols of love. The gesture, on its own, is not a definition or confirmation of love, but can be a way to show you care for your partner, PDA if you will.

The funny thing for me, or maybe not so funny, is the way some men look at female handbags like there was a contaminable disease they could get by carrying one.

POLL - Open or Closed Bathroom Door For Couples?

The times Atala came to visit me while we were still dating, he stayed with me. That was when I first considered the issue of open or closed bathroom doors. The doors remained closed that time, and for the first few weeks of our marriage. And then slowly, they began to open. The slide to open doors began as we had more and more showers together and it has been shifting to other activities too.

Would you date a guy who does not speak ‘good’ English?

Most women dream of one day meeting a man they can fall in love with and who will love them back. In the dream, they end up married, he is the father of her children, and they spend the rest of their lives together.
In these dreams, the man is usually handsome with a good physique, well dressed, rich, educated, romantic and well mannered. But does this man also have to speak impeccable English?

Is Infidelity Always The End Of A Marriage?

We've all heard the story, either a public figure or celebrity, or someone we know confesses to an extramarital affair, and tongues start wagging. Sometimes, the marriage in question withstands the infidelity; other times, the breach of trust is too deep, and the couple splits. The question of which marriage will, and which will not withstand infidelity continues to be a guessing game.

How Much Do You Tell Before Marriage?

Before and after plastic surgery

Who remembers this picture of a Chinese woman who supposedly was sued by her husband for deceiveing him into marrying a post-cosmetic surgery beauty, without letting him know she was not so good looking in the real sense. How did he find out? They had a not so pretty baby that looked like none of them. The story goes on to say he got several millions in damages. True or false, it made me think of what we keep to ourselves when about to get married, and what to share. Some things that come to mind include;

1. Sexual History - Some will ask, what's your number? As girls I hear it should never be more than 1, OK maybe 3. Say you're a secondary virgin, old things have passed away and refuse to give a number, it's a lady's prerogative not to kiss and tell. If push comes to shove, claim virgin and use alum.

2. Previous Cosmetic Surgery - Like the lady in the picture, if you have changed drastically in mostly irreversible ways, it would be nice to let the other person know. This also includes massive weight loss, breast and butt implants, etc.

3. Medical History including STIs, Genotype, Chronic or Genetic diseases. This is more serious, and even more important. If you guys end up together, your life and that of your children could depend on whether you have shared such crucial information.

So Physical Touch is not so Important?

Last week I set up the poll asking what people's love language was, and it turns out physical touch was one of the bottom two, and very far from the top, 12 votes to quality time, which had 42 votes. I can say I am a bit surprised. Atala thinks maybe it's because majority of my readers and the poll respondents are women, and probably physical touch is not so important to women.

I'm not so sure about that. Personally, physical touch ranks third for what I want to receive, and second to what I want to give. I was quite surprised at how poorly it did in this poll, at a point, it was at the bottom of the poll with just two votes.

My dear readers, both men and women, do you think women discount physical touch so much? I am comparing this to the knowledge that for a lot of men, physical touch is either number one or two on their priority. Could this be a problem between couples? Or was there a problem with my poll?

Is the Other Woman Sometimes Needed?

By Mgcini Nyoni

A friend of mine – a female friend, one day told a stunned group of colleagues that the ‘small house’ (a married man’s girlfriend), actually strengthens marriages, contrary to popular belief that ‘small houses’ are home wreckers. She gave three reasons for her conclusions:

One: If a good man cheats, he compensates for his bad deed by treating his wife extremely well; a descending wife will realise that this is the time to put in all the requests and they will all be fulfilled. A lot of people will question why I am saying, if a good man cheats when almost everyone is agreed that a man who cheats on his wife is a bad man: The definition of a good man goes beyond whether he cheats or not and in most cases whether he cheats or not does not even factor into his qualification of good or bad.

The cheating moments in a man’s life provides a stimulus that is needed to bring excitement and happiness to a marriage that had reached a boring patch. It is however important to note that the ‘cheating moment’ magic only works in the hands of ‘good men’; men who know that the wife always comes first and who make it clear to the small house that she will always be second best. Take a deep breath and read again; the theory is not as crazy as you think.

Do We Need Match-Makers in Nigeria?

Someone directed me to this query below on a message board. Do you think there is such a crisis of alienation that it requires a call for match-makers to fix up eligible men and women in Nigeria? A kind of Ready for Love TV show maybe? Read the question below and let's discuss.

Where are the Nigerian match makers? I think we have a crisis on our hands! Right now I know several young women and several young men who are looking but not finding. What is happening anyway?

The babes are saying that the men are not asking and those that ask are only looking for a meal ticket. The boys are mostly not saying but when they do say, they give the impression that babes have become too much to even want to deal with.

As far as I see, there is no shortage of boyfriends and girlfriends but these friendships are not becoming marriages! What's wrong?

POLL - Can Women Have it All?

The debate about women having it all seems to always crop up at least once a year, or each time a working women has a child and then returns to work. When the working woman is a media personality like actress, Drew Barrymore, it makes news headlines which it is currently doing. But we discussed this topic over on Bukky Apampa's site last year, and these were my comments.

ALL is relative, don’t compare, be content, and relearn your attitude so you can be happy with what and where you find yourself. Michelle Obama had a top paying job before, now she is a SAHM as the FLOTUS for about 8 years. Same with Hilary Clinton who took time off when she was first lady and later ran for president, now a SOS.

It is different for everybody, some women have it all (happy and content) as SAHM, no career and they don’t want one. Some make partner at a big time lawfirm or CEO at a fortune500 either at 35 or at 65, it is all for them at different times. I could go on, but you get the idea. We are all different, and so are our decisions and options in life.

[POLL] Boxers or Briefs - What Lies Beneath?

I personally grew up with most men and boys around me wearing briefs or tighty whities and wife beaters as they are sometimes called, as I grew older, boxers kind of took over. Now, I know there's a middle ground called boxer briefs. So which one are you ladies a fan of, and the guys, which one do you wear?

Vote below, and leave a comment with your reasons. Happy Monday :)